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The Republicans Are Really, Really Good At Making America Scared
Boo!
Halloween came a tad bit late this year, when The GOP (not to be confused with DPG OR LBC) reclaimed the House, and pretty much all the land’s Governorships.
Yesterday’s midterm elections sent a resonating message throughout the country:
“We’re still scared of Negroes.”
And that’s really all the Republicans had to prey on in order to take this thing down.
Still reluctant to make the leap-the country- frustrated to the brim, hung on Barack Obama’s every word, a sheer promise of hope and change.
And it’s only halfway into his term.
What boggles my mind the most is that the U.S. seems to have caught a particular case of amnesia, forgetting that Barack Obama took office just under 2 years ago. America was in a sh*tty, sh*itty seemingly endless abyss, and, 8 years ago (or, as I now like to define time, Pre-Bush Kanye West Remix) America was enjoying a “disposable income”.
But for those of you who are not on a 24-hour, champagne diet, these election results are harrowing as scary as doing Carrot Top. Who would you rather?
And you can’t choose Dustin Diamond. And you can’t choose death.
What the Republicans did was genius–
They lost.
Were upset that they lost.
Let everybody know they were upset.
Then never let up on the attacks, temper tantrums. When a baby cries long enough, you must respond. And with the help of Fox News, succeeded in making Mr. Obama appear to be something he wasn’t.
At least New York didn’t elect Paladino. My sense of urgency to move to Cuba is exigent heightened.
Pay attention. His crew f*cked us.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Young Whore
The poster child for teen abstinence (or promiscuity) Bristol Palin was caught at a popular NYC hot spot on Wednesday night.
Everyone who’s anyone knows that no reputable or half-decent NYC club will admit anyone under the age of 21.
With that said…
…Ain’t she someone’s mother???
Apparently that didn’t faze her, but merely being at the club did. She apparently was a nervous wreck the whole night because she knew that she wasn’t supposed to be there. Also, perhaps, because everyone was going to find out and talk about it, because she’s this idiot’s
offspring.
Of course, all this comes right on the heels of Bristol’s new “good girl” facade & getting honored at Truth: Teen Mom’s Tell All & Candie’s Event To Prevent earlier that evening.
Here’s the point:
If you’re being honored at events for teen mothers who are good role models, sneaking into 21+ NY nightclubs is probably not part of the description.
I guess what I’m saying is that we should pay more attention to who we honor & elect as spokesmodels.
or invite to White House Correspondent’s Dinners
Wait– famous for a sextape and you get to hang with the President of the United States and Justin Bieber in the same night?
Maybe things are just fine the way they are.
Love,
Silly Sh*t I Like To Watch
I know it’s been a couple days & I’m sorry. I won’t desert you like that!
So laugh cuz this commercial is funny!
…Then there’s this…I’ve been meaning to post it for a while…
Barbara West: How is Senator Obama not being a Marxist if he intends to spread the wealth around?
Joe Biden: B*itch r u kidding me?
Barbara West: No, That really is a question. I really just asked u that.
Joe Biden: I dunno what’s worse; the fact some ass*ole actually wrote that question in the first place, or the fact that you said that sh*t out loud w/out reading to yourself it first.
This was on the news folks. The news. It basically went a little something like this:
This is not silly, however, it’s quite real. Look @ these Children set it str8:
Here’s a better version in case you got confused as I often do when many children are voices are in the air all at once:
Where did the girls go?
These kids are 7th graders, and have a better grasp of the political system than…..well….than
oh wait, u mean that wasn’t actually her on Saturday Night Live except for that one time?
But I do like the fact that this was on CNN and they showed little Black males who had an interest in this election, clearly showcased both sides, (with favoritism toward Obama! Yes!) and wanted to get a positive point across in an adorable little kid way.
Somewhat.
There is no other choice.
You need this!
Election Daaaayyyyy!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Barack Obama!
As if you had a choice, you watched Barack Obama last night. He commandeered your telly, making it rain on 3 major networks, pushing back the World Series (you know how folk get about they’re Baseball) with a simulcast on numerous cable channels.
Wtf was ABC thinking?
And in case, for some reason you were not watching, I dunno, any channel on the Comcast/Time Warner cable networks, or were looking @ ‘Pushing Daisies’ (which is what you should be doing if you thought that was important), Here it is in 4 convenient parts below:
I love him.
Whoever orchestrated this is truly a genius.
I wanted to cry when I saw Larry Stewart put that Wal Mart uniform on. He’s 78! Good grief!
This was very well put together, and appealled to large ethinic/racial groups. White woman, Black Family, Latino family, back to more White people.
I gotchya.
I’m also glad that every main issue that he posed a solution to, it was also written on the screen. No confusion. Ya got it? Ya know where he stands now?
I’m watching the speech Barack is giving right now in Missouri… & whoever this camera man is is giving me a headache.
Barack the Vote!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: Your New Cellmate- Political Turncoats
Just in time for my 50th post, here comes a scandal straight out of the Republican party & the “Great State o’ Alaska”.
Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens, who could say he babysat for John McCan’t (he’s 84), and Don Imus’ ghost 
was convicted earlier today on 7 charges of corruption, stemming from his indictment this summer. He’s even still got the nerve to be in the running for the seat hes held for the last 40 Years- the same amount of time it took Andy Stitzer to lose his virginity!
His old ass was convicted of all the felony charges that he faced about getting home renovations and other ‘Cash Money Millionaire Sarah Palin shopping spree’ sort of gifts from lucrative oil company, VECO corp.
How Is Sarah Palin ‘not aware’ of this?
Apparently Ted used to live in a little ass mountain cabin way up in the snow, until VECO came along and made him an offer that he couldn’t refuse- including an additional story onto his house with a wraparound porch, a wine cellar and a sauna. What the hell does his raisin ass need w/ a sauna?
But here’s the best part– Stevens, who is the Senate’s longest serving Republican (hell, he’s President pro tempore emeritus) pulled an R. Kelly talkin’ bout he ain’t know he was gettin’ free sh*t. He said he’d given the company $160,000 and thought he paid for all the work that was done.
Um, I’m sorry, but there’s no way in hell that $55 and a pack of Nicorette can take you from this:
to this:
and u don’t know what’s going on (or not giving up any–ayooooo)
Of course this man wanted a speedy trial so he can continue on Alaska’s campaign trail, and why not? Since it is not illegal to have a convicted felon barred from Congress.
Wtf.
That’s right, you read it correctly the 1st time: A Convicted Felon Does Not Have To Drop Out Of The Race Or Resign From Senate. (However, if 2/3 of the senate has an epiphany, they can vote said convicted felon out).
Steven’s boy, Bill Allen who he went fishing and drinking with gave his ass up when he snitched that Steven’s knew he was getting a sweet deal.
And here’s where the good ol’ white privilege comes in:
Ted Stevens faces up to 5 years per count in prison but under federal guidelines will most likely serve little is any time @ all.
What f*ckin federal guideline is this? The one where you can embezzle money from large corporations for personal gainand not get punished?
‘
Oh yeah, it’s that one.
‘They shoulda neva gave u n*ggas MONEY!’
Love,
Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: I Would Not Want Sarah Palin as the Vice President of the word ‘Potatoe’.
This is feeling eerily reminiscent…
The first & only Vice Presidential debate was last week, and for lack of better words, Sarah Palin completely blew it.
Hooray for Joe Biden!
Shall We?
Gwen Ifill: What Are You Going To Do About The Polarization of Reform in the government?
Sarah Palin: Well Darn it, We gotta send the Maverick, John McCan’t in there, cuz Barack Obama votes with his party 96% of the time! He doesn’t even vote outside of his party! He’s inconsistent!
Gwen Ifill: What are we gong to do about the sub-prime mortgage loan crisis? Do you think predatory lenders are to blame?
Sarah Palin: Hell yeah them Mothaf*ckers is to blame. Joe Six Pack, Hockey Moms, Unite!
Joe Biden: You’re a lying heiffer.
Gwen Ifill: Do You Support Gay Rights?
Sarah Palin: I have one gay friend, & his name is Shawn but likes to be called Sasha, so I guess I tolerate them. I mean I won’t hurl insults but, you know.
Gwen Ifil: So Do Etither Of You Support Gay Marriage?
Joe Biden: Hell no.
Sarah Palin: Ditto.
Sarah Palin: Barack Obama voted against funding for the troops.
Joe Biden: Were you even aware that McCain voted the same way?
Sarah Palin: You know I still don’t know what the Vice President does? I’ve just been reading what they write on my Blackberry.
But in order for this to be even be considered a debate, the questions would have to be answered. Then there would have to be a response by the other party to the appropriately answered question.
Sometimes, if you don’t know the answer to a question, its best to just ignore the question all together. Then you have to state that you don’t wanna answer it, then try to remember what you made up, just in case you ran into this situation.
Sarah Palin: I don’t think we should talk to any government leaders outside the U.S., Even if they do like us.
Joe Biden: Dumbass McCain doesn’t even wanna sit down with our allies dumbass! of SPAINNNNNNNNN
P.S.: Who’s this Aquanetta person they keep talking about?
Sarah Palin: I’m stupid & unqualified. Please Don’t trust or vote for me.
Gwen Ifill: Alright, Shut up we gotta move on.
& That is what I took away from this debate. Its painstakingly clear that Joe Biden won. Tonight, Barack & McCan’t will face off again, & I’m sure there will be a ton of Maverick jokes to share.
And the beat goes on.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
‘Nobody Gives Less Of A F*ck Than George Bush’
Chris Rock in space? I gotta see this.
So on Saturday night I was perched in front of my TV to watch Chris Rock’s 1st stand up comedy special in 4 years. And I was thorougly entertained.
So what he was wearing the same thing as on Bigger & Blacker
Still funny. Besides he was right on point when talking about George Bush not giving a f*ck.
Hahah, This is always a treat:
Expect more on this post! It will be updated!
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: John McCan’t
Any chance I get to use this pic I’m going to take full advantage of it
Last night was the Showdown between Presidential candidates Barack Obama (yay!) & John McCan’t (booooooo)
Can someone please tell this Maverick John McCan’t that he should stop trying to tell jokes during debate time?
& Why is it that every point Barack made, McCan’t lead off with “Obama doesn’t understand?” this sounds like hes trying to use Barack’s words against him:
‘Barack doesn’t understand, or doesn’t get it’
(By the way that’s the way I felt every time McCan’t opened his mouth last night)
No homo.
Let’s Duel!
Barack: +50
Now listen to Mr. Obama speak so eloquently and sensibly on the economy & energy (which is part of the reason the economy is in shambles)
& This financial mess
En Garde!
& Then McCan’t turns around & curses @ Obama???
Did you hear him say ‘Horseshit’?! Twice? Please help.
Daggers Up
Barack Wins.
Let’s make sure he wins the election too.
Barack The Vote!
Love,
*Ms. Officer
