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Geezer Swagg
My very own counterpart, Miss USA Crystle Stewart and I have something in common (besides our looks– See the resemblance? lol)
Its out affinity for older men.
But even I find this to be in bad taste.
The two have been seen around Chi-town canoodling, particularly @ one restaurant named Sepia.
Now, there are my fair share of older men that I would do, (of course if they were available–Nooooo disrespect)
but that’s besides the point.
Bill Murray? She’s 27 & he is 58. That means he’s 60. Which is rounded to 100. Which means Miss USA Crystle Stewart has been seen around town dating this!!!:
If they got together and had kids,
They’d probably look like:
I’m not saying, I’m just sayin…
But I guess she figures if he’s been in movies like:
Little Shop of Horrors
Caddyshack
Groundhog Day
Charlies Angels (as one of the Angels)
Osmosis Jones
and
Garfield: A Tale of two Kitties
then his pockets gotta be fat.
God speed.
Love,
Ms. Officer
Wtf
There’s obviously no better name for this post. In the wake of several white women coming forward about their former trysts w/ Black men in their memoirs, (i.e.: Barbara Walters) I guess this one should come as no surprise. Or should it?
Apparently, Marsha Brady was a cokew*ore.
In her new book Maureen McCormick admitted that she used to not only sleep with her co-star & on screen brother, Greg Brady (weeeeeeeeird) but that she partied @ the Playboy mansion, would barter sex for coke, dated Steve Martin (wasn’t he significantly older than her?)
and did
Ghostman himself.
or was it this guy?
when he was a Black man instead of a white woman?
Either way its a mess and a half- just thought you might like to know.
Yikes.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
The Pied Piper of R & Pee
Will be on BET Tonight talkin bout how he narrowly widely escaped the jaws of the law & slithered onto/into someone else in his 1st post- trial interview since he was found not guilty on 14 counts of child pornography. May I remind you that decsision came exactly 3 years to the day 
Ghostman himself got off (haha no pun intended). But it’ll be interesting to see what it is R. Kelly has to say about the accusations, threats & malarky that ensued during those years that he evaded going to court.
In my very own hypothesis I believe this man took a series of well calculated steps that brought him to the vindication of all these charges. I even wrote an op-ed piece on it, which I got a pretty good grade on. Allow me to share it with you (the abridged version, of course):
5 Steps To Being a Guilty R. Kelly But A Not Convicted R. Kelly
1. R. Kelly stuck with the formula that made him a star. His first official song he released after the whole scandal surfaced was 2003’s Ignition. This whole trial/rapist thing clearly hadn’t deterred him from talking about sex. There is a fine line between genius and insanity & he is tap dancing all over it. Kells was talking about putting his key in some girls ‘ignition’. Yet another reference and comparison of women to cars involving sex. Not to mention the wildly successful Dave Chappelle parody that accompanied it:
And what was with the mask he was running around with? The song went to number 2 on the Billboard US Hot 100 & R&B charts, fans were anticipating (and bootlegging) album, Chocolate Factory. This grabbed his entire audience. +1.
2. Step In The Name Of Love was for the older folk, or the “Grown and Sexy” as he referred to them (easily one of the most overused phrases). Kelly took that good ol’ Chicago steppin’ phenomenon nationwide, and now all of a sudden the whole county thought they were from Illinois. Not only did it become the dance instructional, it was the song that ended every party.
“Step, Step/Side To Side/ Left, Right/ Dip Now/Separate/Bring It Back/ Lemme See You Do/ The Love Slide”. I definitely hopped up every time I heard it and did as he instructed. R. Kelly won the approval of his elders. +2.
3. Kells teamed up with what was the biggest boy band on earth, the now defunct B2K and Nickelodeon mainstay Nick Cannon. R. Kelly played it safe. As many tweens & teenage girls did, I too loved them. He produced their explosive songs Bump, Bump, Bump and Girlfriend.
and
Feelin’ Freaky featured Nick Cannon and gripped the most lucrative and profitable group of people one could ask for, screaming teenage girls. We bought all that crap and loved it. How could he go wrong with these cute little boys? (Hahah)
Can I Ball? Please?
The very group he harmed was the same that embraced him all over again. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Damn! Kells foiled me! +5
4. 3 years out from originally being charged, he released Happy People/U Saved Me. You can never go wrong praising the good Lord. U Saved Me became one of my favorite songs at the time. Happy People gave us more of that Chi-town stepping music we were strung out for. What is R. Kelly doing in the Gospel section? He’s winning with the Gospel community and again with the grown and sexy old folks.
5. These skits called Trapped In The Closet Parts 1-12 originally released in 2005 had to have been some of the stupidest shit I’d seen in a while. The story kept finding ways to become increasingly obnoxious, including a wife’s tryst with a gay cop. Somehow a midget with a feather boa makes his way into the equation. Another R. Kelly production is successful, even if it looks like it was shot with my digital camera for community access TV.
How does he sing ‘Oh Shit’
It didn’t hurt that his albums TP 3: Reloaded and his Double Up were wildly successful.
But I think this easily sums it all up. I feel like this actually happened in the courtroom:
With all of this history built up, it is hard to indict R. Kelly. His celebrity allowed him to flirt with the justice system. Hell, I’m even guilty of checking to see if he was coming to a city near me for a chance to nab tickets. I don’t want to like his music because there is no question that what he’s done is wrong. But he has managed to trick myself and the rest of the public with his hypnotic melodies and talent.
Damn.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Ghostman
Wait a minute, Wait a minute! Did anyone hear that this guy
is selling his used panties on Ebay??? wtf
DNA samples were lifted from the Calvin Klein briefs that were once evidence in his 2003 child molestation trial. They’re now going for $1 Million. They were put up for sale by an NJ business man who got a hold of a whole bunch of Wacko Jacko’s crap after that whole bankruptcy fiasco.
If you’re worried about the ‘Seal of Authenticity’, don’t fret, it comes complete with evidence bag & police tape.
I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that they’re up for auction @ all, the fact that eBay is allowing it, or the fact that someone might actually purchase the underwear.
I just puked in my mouth about 143 times.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
