Blog Archives
State of the Union Address = WTF
Or, “Winning The Future”.
For the everyman, this is a real-time account of President Obama’s State of the Union Address. This goes according to the ABC Sawyer/Stephonouourihsfsous airing. Just in case he “speaks too well, and is too well spoken.”
Everyone sat together. There were no partisan seats, just race mixing. For one night only, everyone was friends. Best Friends.
@9:00 This entrance is missing a robe & boxing gloves.
@9:15 ABC has got to get their graphics in front of the right people. That’s not a man.
@ 9:21 Does Joe Biden look like he just came back from partying? Is his tie not crooked?
@ 9:21″Don’t worry if China has more math people than anyone else and (naturally) the world’s fastest computer, we’re still #1. Those same kids come to our colleges. And Chinatown.”
@ 9:21 “We need to out educate everyone. Especially China.”
@ 9:22 What is Biden looking at? Who is he sending forehead wrinkle signals to?
@9:24 Could Rubio look more disinterested? Could he pretend he’s happy this is not in Spanish?
@ 9:26 Sen. Thune (North Dakota) looks like a piece of wood. In his defense, a tan piece of wood.
@ 9:28 
@BarackObama We will move forward together, or not at all—for the challenges we face are bigger than party and bigger than politics. #SOTU
@ 9:29 The winner of the science fair gets his ass kicked by the winner of the Superbowl. I’m afraid we can’t have both.
@9:34 Boehner is gonna blend in with the seat. Perhaps he thought if he tanned enough he could just close his eyes and get away with sleeping.
@9:36 This woman couldn’t wait to say “that’s me”
@9:37 These small businesses are gonna make a killing from all this free advertising
@9:38 “The fastest way to move information is by using Facebook.”
@9:38 “The Koreans, Russian & Chinese are outpacing us. Oh sh*t.”
@9:39 Ray LaHood does not look happy about that stab. He prob wishes he answered that text from Barack earlier.
@ 9:30 “You can video chat, but only if both you guys have Macs.”
@9:44 I’m sorry Biden, is there somewhere else you’d rather be?
@9:45 ” If you have an improvement or addition to the heath care plan, voice it & we’ll work on it right now. Otherwise, stfu.”
@9:53 Boehner was not happy about that “tax the millionaires” comment. He’ll demonstrate his fury by changing colors. Activate, brown leather seat skin:
@9:56 “I’m vetoing all bullsh*t.”
@9:58 Cut to the Black army woman, NOW!
@9:59 If they didn’t stand, they didn’t believe that.
@10:03 2 nappers in the last 2 minutes. One’s sitting next to McCain!
@10:04 Hah! McCain gave him up on Twitter! Udall!
@10:10 Biden fist pumped! I knew he’d come through
@10:10 Boehner wept because he swept the bar…then danced on it
@10:11 I’m surprised it took Boehner an hour to cry
@10:12 That’s Big sh*t poppin, & lil sh*t stoppin’
And give it up for Michelle, who looked stunning, as usual:
Many ciritics said his speech was “boring” & “tepid”. I didn’t get any of that. It just wasn’t a Prince concert. But maybe that’s what everything looks like coming down off of a cocaine-induced high.
A summation:
-Jobs? Check.
-Security? Check.
-Clean Air & Energy?
-Health Insurance? Check.
-Battling Chinese? Check.
All in all, I’d say this was a slam dunk for the Pres.
Wap.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
A Phenomenon.
I still cannot believe that Barack Obama is the 44th President Elect of the United States of America. With so much going on, so much campaigning, so many obstacles, he still managed to do the exact opposite of what everyone thought he would, when he announced his candidacy for president almost 2 years ago. His magnetism, way with words- saying things without saying them, and the ability to connect everyone and anyone with eachother, he took this entire campaign by storm, becoming the star of Election season 2008.
This is quite the moving and compelling story fairy tale, where this same nation, exactly 145 years ago the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, (Remember being counted as 3/5 of a man??) and only 40 years ago an African- American did not have the right to vote. That means a 58 year old Black person’s 1st eligible year to vote was nullified by racism entangled with the law. When Barack was just 7, he could remember the sentiment. Babies born from Nov 4th on do not know a world without a Black President. With faith and belief in God, anything is possible.
I have voted before, in the 2004 election per absentee ballot when I was away @ school @ Northeastern, and again this year in the primaries.
We made history this time. And I thought I should chronicle the entire day, so here it is, from the viewpoint of a Brooklynite, votin’ in Flatbush.
Votin’ Up The Polls Pt. 1
Kati Votes
Finding My Polling Place– See how Kati tried to confuse me? I knew where I had to go! (There were random guys tryna talk to us en route)
Wooooo Hoooooo!!!! Theee decision!!! Then we had to call our Turkey sister & tell her we voted. I snuck my camera in- I wasn’t gonna let them take me down though
@ Kevin Powell’s Election party w/ my cousin Stacey
Clearly Ashanti’s Rock Wit U was the song of choice to embody the theme of the night. Clearly.
…And the coat check guy voted too
A Night @ The Roxbury? I was just waiting for Chris Kattan & Will Ferrell to appear
After the 1st party, what’s the best place to go? The T-Shirt shop!
….Still @ The Store
Hangin @ Brooklyn Moon w/ Stacey & my Soror Rhonda. We were watching this thing unfold on MSNBC and it felt like Snoozefest ’08. No shiny graphics or teleporting like CNN, no Wolf Blitzer or Anderson Cooper, No magical touch screen polls, Not even Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. Just a stupid ice map.
Thank God!!! The Celebration!!!!
Right After The Announcement:
Party Time!
White People playing African Drums for our African President. It gets no better.
I can’t say anything else that can sum it up like he can:
We voted and we won. Now they knew they couldn’t rig the election this time cuz it’d be too obvious.
Time for the new First Family and The Change that we’ve all been hoping for, it’s become a reality.
Thank You God!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: PRESIDENT-ELECT, BARACK OBAMA
YESSSS WE DID!!!!!
Right now, I feel like this:
The way I feel about this I just can’t describe. I still cannot believe that our next President of the United States of America is Barack Obama. A Black Man.
& it only took them 44 tries.
It is about time for a positive change here in this country, and I am so proud that everyone (well, aside from the 150 ppl. that voted for McCan’t) had realized it as well.
Here is the eloquent speech that perfectly fit this Cinderella victory:
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
The beauty, the poise, the grace and the magnetism that is The Obama Family is almost royal, and I am sooooo glad to see that Sasha & Malia will get to run around the White House w/ their puppy!
Which can mean only one thing: that there are a new set of rules will apply as a result of this Historic and Monumental moment:
1. November is now Black History month, Starting with November 5th as Barack Obama Day. Cuz even though he was elected yesterday, we still can’t believe that sh*t today. Time to party like its 1865.
2. Barack Obama is now a verb; i.e. ‘You got Baracked’ (meaning embarrassed or humiliated), ‘Barack the Vote’ (meaning to rock), To Be Obama- To exude class, elegance & style. Yep, he did it.
3. All babies born on Nov. 4th should be named Barack Obama, regardless of sex.
Example: 
&
Do you know that any baby born from this point on does not know a world without a Black President? Bananas.
5. It is a name I’d actually change my last name to.
6. His presidency does not cancel out racism or affirmative action.
You cannot cross multiply here. Don’t even try it.
7. Barack Obama shattered the competition and humiliated John McCan’t in a variety of ways. Not only did he win this election 364-173, that comes down to an electoral college vote of 2 to 1. You must now school your opponent, so that he does this:
8.
You are now allowed to say this to anyone who questions your choice
But did you ever think this would happen? The way he united everyone, regardless of race, color or creed.
He is absolutely amazing.
President-elect Barack Obama smiles as he gives his acceptance …
Barack Obama!
As if you had a choice, you watched Barack Obama last night. He commandeered your telly, making it rain on 3 major networks, pushing back the World Series (you know how folk get about they’re Baseball) with a simulcast on numerous cable channels.
Wtf was ABC thinking?
And in case, for some reason you were not watching, I dunno, any channel on the Comcast/Time Warner cable networks, or were looking @ ‘Pushing Daisies’ (which is what you should be doing if you thought that was important), Here it is in 4 convenient parts below:
I love him.
Whoever orchestrated this is truly a genius.
I wanted to cry when I saw Larry Stewart put that Wal Mart uniform on. He’s 78! Good grief!
This was very well put together, and appealled to large ethinic/racial groups. White woman, Black Family, Latino family, back to more White people.
I gotchya.
I’m also glad that every main issue that he posed a solution to, it was also written on the screen. No confusion. Ya got it? Ya know where he stands now?
I’m watching the speech Barack is giving right now in Missouri… & whoever this camera man is is giving me a headache.
Barack the Vote!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: Your New Cellmate- Political Turncoats
Just in time for my 50th post, here comes a scandal straight out of the Republican party & the “Great State o’ Alaska”.
Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens, who could say he babysat for John McCan’t (he’s 84), and Don Imus’ ghost 
was convicted earlier today on 7 charges of corruption, stemming from his indictment this summer. He’s even still got the nerve to be in the running for the seat hes held for the last 40 Years- the same amount of time it took Andy Stitzer to lose his virginity!
His old ass was convicted of all the felony charges that he faced about getting home renovations and other ‘Cash Money Millionaire Sarah Palin shopping spree’ sort of gifts from lucrative oil company, VECO corp.
How Is Sarah Palin ‘not aware’ of this?
Apparently Ted used to live in a little ass mountain cabin way up in the snow, until VECO came along and made him an offer that he couldn’t refuse- including an additional story onto his house with a wraparound porch, a wine cellar and a sauna. What the hell does his raisin ass need w/ a sauna?
But here’s the best part– Stevens, who is the Senate’s longest serving Republican (hell, he’s President pro tempore emeritus) pulled an R. Kelly talkin’ bout he ain’t know he was gettin’ free sh*t. He said he’d given the company $160,000 and thought he paid for all the work that was done.
Um, I’m sorry, but there’s no way in hell that $55 and a pack of Nicorette can take you from this:
to this:
and u don’t know what’s going on (or not giving up any–ayooooo)
Of course this man wanted a speedy trial so he can continue on Alaska’s campaign trail, and why not? Since it is not illegal to have a convicted felon barred from Congress.
Wtf.
That’s right, you read it correctly the 1st time: A Convicted Felon Does Not Have To Drop Out Of The Race Or Resign From Senate. (However, if 2/3 of the senate has an epiphany, they can vote said convicted felon out).
Steven’s boy, Bill Allen who he went fishing and drinking with gave his ass up when he snitched that Steven’s knew he was getting a sweet deal.
And here’s where the good ol’ white privilege comes in:
Ted Stevens faces up to 5 years per count in prison but under federal guidelines will most likely serve little is any time @ all.
What f*ckin federal guideline is this? The one where you can embezzle money from large corporations for personal gainand not get punished?
‘
Oh yeah, it’s that one.
‘They shoulda neva gave u n*ggas MONEY!’
Love,
Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: John McCan’t
Any chance I get to use this pic I’m going to take full advantage of it
Last night was the Showdown between Presidential candidates Barack Obama (yay!) & John McCan’t (booooooo)
Can someone please tell this Maverick John McCan’t that he should stop trying to tell jokes during debate time?
& Why is it that every point Barack made, McCan’t lead off with “Obama doesn’t understand?” this sounds like hes trying to use Barack’s words against him:
‘Barack doesn’t understand, or doesn’t get it’
(By the way that’s the way I felt every time McCan’t opened his mouth last night)
No homo.
Let’s Duel!
Barack: +50
Now listen to Mr. Obama speak so eloquently and sensibly on the economy & energy (which is part of the reason the economy is in shambles)
& This financial mess
En Garde!
& Then McCan’t turns around & curses @ Obama???
Did you hear him say ‘Horseshit’?! Twice? Please help.
Daggers Up
Barack Wins.
Let’s make sure he wins the election too.
Barack The Vote!
Love,
*Ms. Officer
