Blog Archives
The Republicans Are Really, Really Good At Making America Scared
Boo!
Halloween came a tad bit late this year, when The GOP (not to be confused with DPG OR LBC) reclaimed the House, and pretty much all the land’s Governorships.
Yesterday’s midterm elections sent a resonating message throughout the country:
“We’re still scared of Negroes.”
And that’s really all the Republicans had to prey on in order to take this thing down.
Still reluctant to make the leap-the country- frustrated to the brim, hung on Barack Obama’s every word, a sheer promise of hope and change.
And it’s only halfway into his term.
What boggles my mind the most is that the U.S. seems to have caught a particular case of amnesia, forgetting that Barack Obama took office just under 2 years ago. America was in a sh*tty, sh*itty seemingly endless abyss, and, 8 years ago (or, as I now like to define time, Pre-Bush Kanye West Remix) America was enjoying a “disposable income”.
But for those of you who are not on a 24-hour, champagne diet, these election results are harrowing as scary as doing Carrot Top. Who would you rather?
And you can’t choose Dustin Diamond. And you can’t choose death.
What the Republicans did was genius–
They lost.
Were upset that they lost.
Let everybody know they were upset.
Then never let up on the attacks, temper tantrums. When a baby cries long enough, you must respond. And with the help of Fox News, succeeded in making Mr. Obama appear to be something he wasn’t.
At least New York didn’t elect Paladino. My sense of urgency to move to Cuba is exigent heightened.
Pay attention. His crew f*cked us.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 6- Obama Gets Autotuned
There’s nothing I can say that’s going to top how funny (and clever) this actually is. And I’m pretty funny & clever.
Special thanks to T-Pain who ended up reviving autotune a-la Troutman contributing more to society than just incredible dance moves.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
A Groundbreaking Moment
Every once in a while, I get a request to post something that let’s you know I’m not completely brain-dead or superficial.
This is one of those posts.
Like it or not, you must respect it.
14 years ago, congress authorized the Memorial Foundation to raise the funds necessary to make the statue a reality.
This month, we recognize 42 years since Dr. King’s passing. It’s been 4 since the national groundbreaking ceremony on November 13, 2006 -with a then senator Barack Obama- at the helm. Exactly 2 years later he would become the very 1st African-American president of these here You-Nited States.
At that moment, only half of Dr. King’s Dream was realized.
But what’s next for this memorial? Cedric The Entertainer thinks something should be done too:
A 3D View:
More information on the Memorial is here
The Curse of Joe Biden
Are we rejoicing that a historic healthcare bill finally got passed allowing insurance for just about 94%of Americans? (Take that Canada)
Children up to age 26 will be able to remain on their parents’ insurance
We get to have the same flavor of health insurance that some of our favorite members of congress
Small business owners will snag tax credits to cover their employees?
Joe Biden just waits in the shadows until Barack accomplishes something, then just comes out at the grand occasion– just like that drunk uncle at Christmas who you try to keep away from the small children.
But for this, Obama has yet another reason to keep Uncle Joe in the barn outback:
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Whispering dangersously close to the President’s ear is one thing. Doing it in front of a host of newsmedia is another. Shouting the F-bomb into several on mics…well, that’s the kooky gamble you take when letting the Vice President out into the United States.
Everyone’s in an uproar about this F-Word. But lest we forget what minority leader John Boehner said?
Usual winner of the crying game, I am surprised Boehner didn’t revert to his usual teary eyed tactics of throwing a tantrum to get his point across, although he never really has one to get attention.
Or the Tea Party
Or that James Clyburn (D-SC) had racial epithets hurled at him and images of nooses faxed to him.
I like what we pay attention to.
So, in sum,
we know Joe Biden has a lot of gaffes:
But let’s not act like there aren’t things being said and done to members of congress who stood up for health care reform, in revolts and verbal assaults since the 1960′s. Remember them?
at least the F word doesn’t offend a specific group of people. Unless you’re one of these two…
Love,
Ms. Officer
This Guy’s An Idiot
Remember this guy?
No?
How about now?
or now?
Definitely now.
This bald headed fool is none other than Joe the Plumber. He was the tool scapegoat tool who was used by both McCain & Obama during the ’08 Presidential election as “America’s everyman”– the average worker.
Joe Wurzlebacher rose to fame became the butt of many a joke inadvertently– as plumber who randomly happened to be standing in a crowd, who happened to ask our now POTUS what he was going to do about small business tax policies:
After that, he got close with daughter Meagan:
and became BFF’s with McCain,
Joe The Plumber would tour around the country promoting Bush/Cheney in drag McCain/Palin in hopes this party would win the election come the fall.
We all know the Cinderella story ended up:
Yet now Joe is singing a different song.
In an interview he did with Pennsylvania radio public radio correspondent Scott Detrow, The Plumber whined about the former presidential candidate ruining his life. Damn near 2 years later he’s finally come to the realization that he just happened to be a tangible face middle America could identify with during the elections.
Wurtzelbacher also had some other revelations; he stated that John McCain was not a public servant out for the best interest of the people he represents and no longer backs Sarah Palin, not because of this:
Not because of this:
Not because Matt Damon said so:
Not even because of this:
I wonder what finally gave it away?
Whatever the case may be, I’m glad he finally came to his senses.
Perhaps he’d finally learned to follow his instinct:
Love,
*Ms. Officer
‘Nauguration January 20th, 2009
What a blessing! Today, Inauguration Day, Barack Obama and his administration were officially sworn in!
Beautiful! I was there on the mall to see it in person! This officially made Barack Obama the 44th President of the U.S.A.!
Lemme tell u i was feeeeening to go to the Inauguration. So after much deliberating, going back and forth with a potential host, and even a couple of arguments, I finally decided to go down to Washington D.C. By myself.(kinda). I just hate waiting on people and the wishy-washiness that ensues. Especially with something of this caliber. Armed with some Seltzer water, A Mc Donald’s bag (sans french fries), my iPod, and some Animal Crackers, I was on my way.
I took the 3:45, (well it turned into the 4:30 cuz thats when it left) Greyhound bus down. I hadn’t slept the entire day prior, so as soon as I sat down I knocked out. By the time I awoke it was 8AM and I was sitting in the nation’s capitol.
Musta been about-61 degrees outside but it was ok. I was there to see Barack. Walking up the small hill from the station you could see the top of the dome from the bottom. & Sheesh there were a lot of people.
My mother, who’d caught an earlier bus had been walking around as well. However, she had the tickets.
The Purple Tickets.
After walking around tryna figure out where D Street & Independence St. were, I doubled back to New Jersey Ave. by the Purple entrance where not only the parental was, but a crowd of roughly 39 million. All tryna get in. However we did meet these men (one a Nupe) who were really nice, and would have been cool had they been my peer than my grandmother’s age. You know that ain’t stop them from asking if I was married…
But we made it! And snagged a darn good spot at that. We were just in time for…
the appetizer…
…and the main course!
Of course that small flub was a little stranger in person, cuz I wasn’t sure if I was listening right. Nonetheless, it was official. Then came the 21 gun salute, the cheers from the crowd & the flag waving. It was the 1st time I’d even bought an American flag, nonetheless waved it.
I got home just in time to watch the Neighborhood Ball. And even though I was pooped & Sting put me to sleep, I woke back up when this clip was showing:
If this doesn’t @ least make u get just a lil’ choked up, ur disgusting.
Nonetheless, no bit of news information seems to be complete nor is it exempt from Beyonce. Somehow this woman finds her way into everything, and strongarming herself into performing at the Inaugural Ball should come as no surprise.
I was actually glad that she spoke. For once you got to see her true emotions- not scripted. She actually sounds good when she starts using her own words.
The Obamas attended 10 balls that night, but one thing is for certain. This day was beyond historical, it was stupendous, incredible. It is hard to measure with words what seeing Barack Obama sworn in as President of The United States was comparable to. Its because it wasn’t. It was fantastic and I am so blessed and glad I got to go and see it in person down on the mall.
There is definitely more on the way!
January 20, 2009
Inauguration Day
Barack Obama, joined by his wife Michelle, takes the oath of office from Chief Justice John Roberts to become the 44th president of the United States at the US Capitol in Washington
(Elise Amendola/AP Photo)
Love,
Ms. Officer
Dang N*gga
If u ain’t know, Bird is the word. Dat n*gga Orenthal James got sentenced today to 15 years in prison for kidnapping & committing an armed robbery @ a Las Vegas hotel last year.
As the ringleader of a crew of 4 other men, all armed, they barged into the room to “confront friends and retrieve his things” (his words, not mine. I couldn’t make this up). The “things” in question were peices of sports memerobilia that dealers Bruce Fromong and Al Beardsley had in their possession.
Well Judge Jackie Glass spared no expense when telling O.J. how she really felt about him, stating that “Earlier in this case, at a bail hearing, I said to Mr. Simpson I didn’t know if he was arrogant, ignorant or both. During the trial and through this proceeding I got the answer, and it was both.”
Yikes.
O.J. claimed he went to the room “not wanting to steal anything from anybody” but went to recover a “wedding ring for his daughter & some family photos for his son”.
By far my favorite part was when he said and I quote:
“I didn’t know I was doing anything illegal” and “I’m somewhat confused”.
Really O.J.? For real?
Let Judge Glass put it in perspective for you…
She said that Simpson’s words in court weren’t as powerful as his angry words, as caught on tape, during the confrontation.
“Everything in this case was on tape, the evidence in this case was overwhelming.”
Glass continued, “You went to the room. You took guns. You used force. You took property, and in this state, that amounts to robbery with the use of a deadly weapon.”
More Yikes.
As ironic as this whole thing is, the star of the most famous infamous case of the ’90′s, and arguably a strong contender for scandal of the century managed to get convicted of the 2007 crime on October 3rd, exactly 13 years to the day that he was acquitted of that trial.
(Coulda done without the crotch close-up)
White people are currently rejoicing. They been waitin to see his ass get pinched since ’95.
He did apologize though, and his 61-year-old tail is eligible for parole in 9 years.
No need for all those stupid O.J. puns- he finally got ‘juiced’, he doesn’t have the ‘juice’ he got squeezed, and that sh*t can go on and on. What you need to know is that his ass is gonna be behind bars.
He is gonna be thirstyyyyyyy
Barack Obama,= + Infinity
O.J. Simpson= – 100,000.
Sigh,
Love,
Ms. Officer
Bad Gyal Ce’Cile @ Jamrock Magazine’s Rock W/ Squeeze!
Being the Caribbean fuse of cultures that I am, I went down to one of my faaaaaavorite spots Negril Village (where they serve 2 of my 2 faaaavorite drinks, Mango Mojitos & Pina Coladas- heavy on the Mojito & Colada, respectively) on Monday night to support Jamrock Magazine’s “Rock W/ Squeeze” event. And those cats always throw good events. Make no mistake about it.
This week the special musical performance was given by one of my faaaaaavorite Dancehall “artiiiisteees” , di bad gyal herself, Ce’Cile.
Bwooooooyyyyy, U couldn’t tell me it’d be such a zoo in there. As usual, I got there “fashionably late” and greeted Johann @ the door who read the look on my face that I might not have wanted to get sucked into the crowd. Surely enough, as soon as I walked in, I started to sweat glisten. Yep, it was on of those joints. As I made my way over near the tables to say hello to Squeeze, I found myself perched in front of the stage and couldn’t turn back. I was in too deep. lol. (My butt was also in the way of some folks, but I couldn’t help it). I really didn’t mean to be in all up in the photographer’s ways.
However, there was this one really big guy (easily 2, 3, 10 times my width) who decided it’d be a good idea to try & put his hands on me to try and move me so he could take a rinky dink pic w/ his rinky dink camera phone. Do Not Disrespect Me.
Supported by the very talented New Kingston Band, she did an amazing set.
Can you tell where I was by the camera angle?
I used to go soooo hard to this song when I was younger
Stephen substituted for Sean Paul but then this guy kinda came on stage &….well….
yeah… he was weird. Kinda.
In between this song and the next she did an acapella joint called “Ain’t Nothin”, and there damn sure isn’t much, if anything that is wrong about that song. Look it up if you dunno what I’m talkin about. Definitely one for us ladies!
And presenting my soooonnnnnggggg, Changez!
All in all, it was a good evening (for the time I was there, I had to scurry home like a dogonne child cuz I have to wake up reaaaalllllly early in the morning like The Gap Band)
I’m sure the after party sell off as well. Big ups to Squeeze, Johann & Robbie too!
Ain’t nothin for free…If you like what you see…
Love,
Ms. Officer
Wtf: Pop Champagne
First off, I f**ks w/ this song.
With that said, I questioned if I was being n**gerish because this was one of the first songs that popped into my head (no pun intended) when Barack won the Presidency last week. What I did not know @ the time was what the video looked like. I saw it for the 1st time on Monday (maybe it’s been out longer than that, who cares) but let it be known:
The ‘Pop Champagne’ video must be stopped.
Ring the mothaf**kin alarm.
There’s just way too much wrong w/ it.
Like I said: I do rock with this joint & Ron Browz is very talented. Buuuuuuuuut allow me to point out the obvious:
1. The tattoos on this girl’s back.
2. The background in the picture frame. The whole picture frame thingy in the 1st place.
3. The chick in the gold bathing suit thing w/ the gold humping Jim Jones’ leg while he’s clearly trying to pour the champagne down the flutes.
4. Is that a child dancing? And if so, is she in the club with them?? I’m confused here.
5. The dude step-n-fetching in the teeth & the white pants. I can’t.
6. Lol did that fat guy just start to do the Harlem?
7. Not just the gratuitous pouring of the bubbly, but the fact that Zeke puts his hands out like he’s drinking from a gourd.
That was what bothered me the most.
8. I hate spitting, it’s so gross.
9. And as much as I like Juelz Santana & Dipset, & trust me, I really do, I couldn’t tell u what happens after his verse begins because that graphic of his catch-phrase ‘A’ was just too much. I couldn’t do it.
(I just want to interject real quick & say that someone posted some flyers on my myspace of a party w/ Barack Obama, Jim Jones & Juelz Santana all together. Lemme tell you there is no occassion where these folks would share a venue.)
Now obviously there are much suckier music videos out there, of any genre. I just wanted to touch on this one cuz I felt it was a liiiiiittle too ignorant coming on the heels of Barack making history.
The sh*t rocks tho.
Sigh,
Love,
Ms. Officer
A Phenomenon.
I still cannot believe that Barack Obama is the 44th President Elect of the United States of America. With so much going on, so much campaigning, so many obstacles, he still managed to do the exact opposite of what everyone thought he would, when he announced his candidacy for president almost 2 years ago. His magnetism, way with words- saying things without saying them, and the ability to connect everyone and anyone with eachother, he took this entire campaign by storm, becoming the star of Election season 2008.
This is quite the moving and compelling story fairy tale, where this same nation, exactly 145 years ago the Emancipation Proclamation was signed, (Remember being counted as 3/5 of a man??) and only 40 years ago an African- American did not have the right to vote. That means a 58 year old Black person’s 1st eligible year to vote was nullified by racism entangled with the law. When Barack was just 7, he could remember the sentiment. Babies born from Nov 4th on do not know a world without a Black President. With faith and belief in God, anything is possible.
I have voted before, in the 2004 election per absentee ballot when I was away @ school @ Northeastern, and again this year in the primaries.
We made history this time. And I thought I should chronicle the entire day, so here it is, from the viewpoint of a Brooklynite, votin’ in Flatbush.
Votin’ Up The Polls Pt. 1
Kati Votes
Finding My Polling Place– See how Kati tried to confuse me? I knew where I had to go! (There were random guys tryna talk to us en route)
Wooooo Hoooooo!!!! Theee decision!!! Then we had to call our Turkey sister & tell her we voted. I snuck my camera in- I wasn’t gonna let them take me down though
@ Kevin Powell’s Election party w/ my cousin Stacey
Clearly Ashanti’s Rock Wit U was the song of choice to embody the theme of the night. Clearly.
…And the coat check guy voted too
A Night @ The Roxbury? I was just waiting for Chris Kattan & Will Ferrell to appear
After the 1st party, what’s the best place to go? The T-Shirt shop!
….Still @ The Store
Hangin @ Brooklyn Moon w/ Stacey & my Soror Rhonda. We were watching this thing unfold on MSNBC and it felt like Snoozefest ’08. No shiny graphics or teleporting like CNN, no Wolf Blitzer or Anderson Cooper, No magical touch screen polls, Not even Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert. Just a stupid ice map.
Thank God!!! The Celebration!!!!
Right After The Announcement:
Party Time!
White People playing African Drums for our African President. It gets no better.
I can’t say anything else that can sum it up like he can:
We voted and we won. Now they knew they couldn’t rig the election this time cuz it’d be too obvious.
Time for the new First Family and The Change that we’ve all been hoping for, it’s become a reality.
Thank You God!
Love,
Ms. Officer
TONIGHT MSOFFICER.COM/BARACK OBAMA CELEBRATION! OPEN BAR!
Win!!!! WE BARACKED THE VOTE!!
THIS ELECTION HAS MADE HISTORY, SO TONIGHT LET’S CELEBRATE!
ALSO CELEBRATING THE OFFICIAL LAUNCH OF MSOFFICER.COM!!!
BEST OBAMA T-SHIRT GETS A FREE BOTTLE AND CASH PRIZE
RSVP AT
SOBKNY@GMAIL.COM or @ MSOFFICER.COM & WILDCARDPRODUCTION@GMAIL.COM– MAKE SURE YOU SAY MS. OFFICER!!!
****OPEN BAR UNTIL MIDNIGHT****
ISLAND FEVER SATURDAYS
**REGGAE+HIPHOP+R&B**
****OPEN BAR UNTIL MIDNIGHT****
ALL ARE FREE TONIGHT BEFORE 12AM W/ BARACK OBAMA T-SHIRTS!!
****OPEN BAR BEFORE 12AM****
NOVEMBER 8TH
@ DECO LOUNGE, 95 LEONARD ST. BETWEEN CHURCH AND BROADWAY, NYC
****ENTRANCE @ THE CORNER OF BROADWAY AND ASK FOR DECO LOUNGE****
DOORS OPEN @ 11 PM
MUSIC BY DJ CALLI B, STINGA MOVEMENTS, & King Crown 2010
****OPEN BAR UNTIL MIDNIGHT****
DRESS LIKE YOU’RE GROWN & HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT!!! TRENDY: NO HATS & NO ATHLETIC WEAR
WE WILL ALSO BE BROADCASTING LIVE ON 93.5 LINK UP RADIO!!
IT’S A WIN/WIN SITUATION!!!
Love,
Ms. Officer
–
MsOfficer.Com
Showdown ’08: PRESIDENT-ELECT, BARACK OBAMA
YESSSS WE DID!!!!!
Right now, I feel like this:
The way I feel about this I just can’t describe. I still cannot believe that our next President of the United States of America is Barack Obama. A Black Man.
& it only took them 44 tries.
It is about time for a positive change here in this country, and I am so proud that everyone (well, aside from the 150 ppl. that voted for McCan’t) had realized it as well.
Here is the eloquent speech that perfectly fit this Cinderella victory:
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
The beauty, the poise, the grace and the magnetism that is The Obama Family is almost royal, and I am sooooo glad to see that Sasha & Malia will get to run around the White House w/ their puppy!
Which can mean only one thing: that there are a new set of rules will apply as a result of this Historic and Monumental moment:
1. November is now Black History month, Starting with November 5th as Barack Obama Day. Cuz even though he was elected yesterday, we still can’t believe that sh*t today. Time to party like its 1865.
2. Barack Obama is now a verb; i.e. ‘You got Baracked’ (meaning embarrassed or humiliated), ‘Barack the Vote’ (meaning to rock), To Be Obama- To exude class, elegance & style. Yep, he did it.
3. All babies born on Nov. 4th should be named Barack Obama, regardless of sex.
Example: 
&
Do you know that any baby born from this point on does not know a world without a Black President? Bananas.
5. It is a name I’d actually change my last name to.
6. His presidency does not cancel out racism or affirmative action.
You cannot cross multiply here. Don’t even try it.
7. Barack Obama shattered the competition and humiliated John McCan’t in a variety of ways. Not only did he win this election 364-173, that comes down to an electoral college vote of 2 to 1. You must now school your opponent, so that he does this:
8.
You are now allowed to say this to anyone who questions your choice
But did you ever think this would happen? The way he united everyone, regardless of race, color or creed.
He is absolutely amazing.
President-elect Barack Obama smiles as he gives his acceptance …
Showdown ’08 Faceoff: Now Actually Vote!
Enter the public. The candidates are squared off for months and month almost 2 years of campaigning (including the faceoffs, the slander, and expensive vice president candidate outfits), it all comes down to this.
Let’s make Barack Obama’s presidency a reality! History! Find your polling places!
http://www.canivote.org/
Wooo hooo!
& Listen to the fantastic inspirational songs, made by people who inspire!
Cocoa Tea! Tell dem seh!
lol, yeah, we all feel this way too:
America Surprise Us- & Let A Black Man Guide Us!
…and of course, (even though you know how I feel about BEP Fergie) the Emmy winning video Yes We Can!
You know what u have to do!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Silly Sh*t I Like To Watch
I know it’s been a couple days & I’m sorry. I won’t desert you like that!
So laugh cuz this commercial is funny!
…Then there’s this…I’ve been meaning to post it for a while…
Barbara West: How is Senator Obama not being a Marxist if he intends to spread the wealth around?
Joe Biden: B*itch r u kidding me?
Barbara West: No, That really is a question. I really just asked u that.
Joe Biden: I dunno what’s worse; the fact some ass*ole actually wrote that question in the first place, or the fact that you said that sh*t out loud w/out reading to yourself it first.
This was on the news folks. The news. It basically went a little something like this:
This is not silly, however, it’s quite real. Look @ these Children set it str8:
Here’s a better version in case you got confused as I often do when many children are voices are in the air all at once:
Where did the girls go?
These kids are 7th graders, and have a better grasp of the political system than…..well….than
oh wait, u mean that wasn’t actually her on Saturday Night Live except for that one time?
But I do like the fact that this was on CNN and they showed little Black males who had an interest in this election, clearly showcased both sides, (with favoritism toward Obama! Yes!) and wanted to get a positive point across in an adorable little kid way.
Somewhat.
There is no other choice.
You need this!
Election Daaaayyyyy!
Love,
Ms. Officer
Barack Obama!
As if you had a choice, you watched Barack Obama last night. He commandeered your telly, making it rain on 3 major networks, pushing back the World Series (you know how folk get about they’re Baseball) with a simulcast on numerous cable channels.
Wtf was ABC thinking?
And in case, for some reason you were not watching, I dunno, any channel on the Comcast/Time Warner cable networks, or were looking @ ‘Pushing Daisies’ (which is what you should be doing if you thought that was important), Here it is in 4 convenient parts below:
I love him.
Whoever orchestrated this is truly a genius.
I wanted to cry when I saw Larry Stewart put that Wal Mart uniform on. He’s 78! Good grief!
This was very well put together, and appealled to large ethinic/racial groups. White woman, Black Family, Latino family, back to more White people.
I gotchya.
I’m also glad that every main issue that he posed a solution to, it was also written on the screen. No confusion. Ya got it? Ya know where he stands now?
I’m watching the speech Barack is giving right now in Missouri… & whoever this camera man is is giving me a headache.
Barack the Vote!
Love,
Ms. Officer
