New Vid: The Beyonce Feat. Kanye West & J. Cole- Party
You will never escape The Beyonce. Sit down & succumb. That said, she just earned herself her own category on this site. (See tags).
Good grief, This Song GOES.
Easily the type of song where you shuffle drunk side to side & yell the hook as loud as your (top shelf) liquor tinged lungs will allow.
@ :03 Solange?
@ :05 This could get dangerous. OR SEXY
@ :06 #ZESTTEST Jail workout, or BFF workout?
@ :09 THE BEYONCE IN A (JERSEY) TRAILOR PARK IS HARD TO BELIEVE #YOUNEEDMOREPEOPLE
@ :18 Re Introducing The Beyonce’s side boob
@ :20 Hay you! A Ginger lurks behind you! LOOKOUT
@ :24 She really seizes any opportunity to dress like her name used to sounds. WHO ARE YOU REALLY
@ :26 Glad I didn’t actually see her pick that up from the ground.
@ :34 Ok we’ve seen this before
@ :44 Ashanti?
@ :51 There’s The Other sibling
@ 1:02 I can appreciate “The Bogle” when it reveals itself
@ 1:17 Ok, so, THE BLONDE GUY
@ 1:23 AND THE ALBINO
@ 1:25 You, sir, ARE ABOUT TO BODYROLL
@ 1:44 That’s cool, I wear fur in the pool too.
@ 1:45 I am a STAUNCH ADVOCATE
@ 1:53 How many bathingsuits can one wear in under 4 minutes?
@ 1:59 ALMOST THERE
@ 2:11 Big man, tiny car
@ 2:16 Ok, so, you can tell he wasn’t there at the same time. THIS DIGITAL LAYERING IS DANGEROUS
@ 2:40 Who doesn’t love a good feather fight?
@ 2:54 And silly string?
@ 3:03 As gorgeous as The Beyonce is, I’ve always thought Kelly was prettier. [DO NOT INSERT LIGHT SKINNED/DARK SKINNED ANYTHING HERE]
@ 3:06 WE GET IT, THE BEYONCE. YOU’RE TEAM NIP SLIP
@ 3:38 How cute
This was fun. Felt like I was at a 3 minute party. MINUS ANDRE 3000. Why couldn’t his & J.Cole’s verse co-exist in the vid? #GIVEDRESHINE
Love,
*Ms. Officer
See & Be Seen: Carmelo Anthony M8 Sneaker Release x Perez Hilton’s “One Night Only”
‘Twas a busy night on Thursday, with both Carmelo Anthony’s sneaker release and Open Sky Presents Perez Hilton’s annual “One Night Only”.
Both started at 7:30.
Both were worth going to.
One was on a pier, one was in a ballroom. It’s October in NYC.
But which one to choose
#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS
For the Melo event, hype surrounded a special guest performance by “one of New York’s Hip Hop legends”. Citing relevance & current singles There were only 2 choices
Speculation surrounded the only two choices– Nas or Jay-Z.
When not barnstorming, Carmelo can be seen enjoying Nas.
[ Aside: Nation, if you have never been to a Nas show, I suggest you go. He is the best performance I've seen. He gives one hell of a show when he's getting paid $80,000 or better.]
Naturally beginning late, I wondered if I was going to miss the promise of Boyz II Men, Mary J. Blige & of course, Pauly D. The Carmelo event kept us entertained with its ostentasiousness– A HOLOGRAM OF A SNEAKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HUDSON
Behold.
AND CONTINUE TO BEHOLD IT.
When the show actually started, Nas literally performed three songs and left. Nonetheless, ’twas a good 15 minutes.
By the time I arrived at the Perez Hilton event, I’d missed most of the performances, but still got a consolation prize– a Nalgene from Perez’s “BritaFilterForGoodMusic” Project.
A taste of the festivities:
Oh those? The new “Soul” by Ludacris headphones. SOMEONE SEND ME A PAIR.
That is Darryl Strawberry.
This is the 25th anniversary of the Mets’ Championship season.
No matter how you split it, a great show of talent was at both shows. And so were great displays of (top shelf) liquor.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Everyone Looks The Same To Me Vol. 26 : REPBULICAN EDITION
On the heels of last night’s rancid Republican debates, I made some astonishing realizations:
- Oh sh*t we are in trouble because (one) of these is the potential Republican nominee.
- There is an awful lot of sexual tension between Mitt Romney & Rick Perry.
- Oh sh*t I dropped a peice of bacon.
- This entire thing is sh*ttily and blatantly racist
Equal parts fear and hilarity moved through me whilst I watched 63 old White men, 1 ex- Rhythym Nation extra & the Token Negro “debate”.
Certainly I could not listen to Ron Paul whine,
but I did notice that he looked remarkably like
none other than
Former star of Road Trip,
and not really a DJ even though his initials are D.J.,
DJ QUALLS
Or,
Will look like Ron Paul
IN APROXIMATELY 388 YEARS
Oh, but that’s not all folks.
YOU GET TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE TODAY
The lone Negro here,furthering our race’s setbacks with those comments Herman Cain,
Looks much too much like one of my favorite people
Martin Lawrence
BY THIS ADMISSION, HAS HERMAN CAIN RUINED THE RERUNS OF ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS?
PERHAPS.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Dru Hill
A wild ride was just had.
Thanks to one of my all-time favorite songs, Beauty (Remix), by Dru Hill featuring Case.
BUT IT MUST BE THE REMIX. Although the tweak is minor, there is a very large difference between that & it’s origional form.
With that said, PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR TODAY’S VIDEO:
Not “Beauty (Remix)”, because there is no such thing.
BUT A VIDEO FOR “TELL ME” DOES EXIST.
LADEIS AND GENTLEMEN, LET’S SKIP TOGETHER
@ :11 No need for me to delve any further on this issue, I’ve already written extensively about it…and it’s symptoms, here.
@ :18 1996, DO YA FEEL ME
@ :57 Looking back, that is quite the bright jacket on quite the big Negro
@1:24 Nokio saw his opportunity for that LL Cool J lip lick AND HE TOOK IT
@ 2:00 Never really forgave Dru obvious & complete Jodeci swagger jack.
@ 3:03 Jailhouse jumpsuit in full effect
@ 3:17 This, of course, was during a time where giving out roses at shows was a mandate
@ 3:49 “Ok Guise, end of the video, WE HAVETO JUMP OUR HIGHEST HERE”
@ 3:50 Slow-mo may have not been the best choice for. That. Frame.Right.There.
Perhaps now this will inspire Dru to film a video for Beauty (Remix)?
…Maybe not.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
See & Be Seen: Big Sean x Grey Goose Rising Icons Event
Grey Goose was in abundance.
I tried to drink it all.
Miguel made a seemingly normal appearance looking like a man,
BUT THEN HIS PANT LEG SAID OTHERWISE
Somewhere in between was a performance by Big Sean, one of the most touted artists by Good Music & Kanye West since…well, Kanye West.
“My Last” Feat. Chris Brown
About the elephant in the room: Those streaming vertical lines were feedback from the lights. My camera is neither cheap nor sh*tty.
“I Do It”
New favorite dance? FOUND IT
“Marvin Gaye & Chardonnay”
Special guest: Kenny Burns’ ENLARGED CRANIUM.
T’was a good night had by all.
Especially him.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: The Beyonce- Countdown
She’s pregnant. She’s dancing. And most importantly,
She. Ain’t. You.
@ :01 I don’t expect this to be any different from any other
- The Beyonce Video
-Destiny’s Chile Video
-Any video featuring The Beyonce
In that it is all about her, all the time. LEST YOU FORGET
@ :06 “Oh Hai, welcome to American Apparel. What was that? Were you looking for the women’s black turtleneck? Extra Small? I’m sorry, LIL’ WAYNE BOUGHT THEM ALL“
@ :20 New from Radio Shack, The Beyonce Clock.
@ :25 Soooooo, no one else thinks she’s @ least a tad bit insane
@ :45
@ 1:22 Certain this little pink act will spawn numerous youtube parodies of large women in these tiny button ups.
@ 1:49 Drumline
@ 1:55 Not that this makes a difference in the grand scheme of, like, the world, -BUT- right side, purple shirt, Thai wig. Man, Woman, or Strong Features?
Cast your vote.
@ 2:05 Must. Buy. Lavender. Shoes. Before. Men. Buy. All. Our. Sizes.
@ 2:19 “Dutty Wine” revival
@ 2:32 Alleged plagarizm.
@ 2:33 Me. and my Jay. And My Jay-Z riding. All up in that Jay-Z with me right beside Jay-Z
@3:06 The Beyonce gives a nod to The Diana (Rawse)
@ 3:26 Don’t recall The Beyonce’s boobs EVER being that big. Note to self: GET PREGNANT
@ 3:31 And just in case you forgot how beautiful The Beyonce was in the last nanosecond, a not-so-subtle reminder.
Don’t hate it, Don’t love it. Although, I’m certain I’ll have a more difinitve outlook on this after the video has been drilled into my head via MTV, overly aggressive advertisements, and radio spins. Naturally.
Plagarism, Smlagarism.
If The Beyonce doesn’t do it before after you, IT DOES NOT EXIST.
New Edition will find this out shortly, seeing as how the preview to “Love on Top” IS ALREADY OUT.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- N.O.R.E.
There’s no time like the present…
to wallow in the past.
Today we are at juuust about midway into Hispanic Heritage Month (HHM), which runs from 9/15 to 10/15. I see no other way to commemorate my delicate mix of Dominican, Puerto Rican, & Cuban hertiage than with a not-so-old Reggaeton video.
At it’s peak, Reggaeton invaded Urban formatted radio & TV, and aggravating both Hip-Hop & Reggae listeners alike. Everywhere became “El Barrio”, or, at least, the Bodega.
This was 2006.
When Daddy Yankee regined supreme.
When he endorsed John McCain for President.
When Pitbull was but a mere rapper, not yet introduced to his closest homegirl, Ne-Yo.
When every college party maintained it’s obligatory Reggaeton set.
@: 03 I am proud to be Latina.
@: 05 To prove it, I will stand the f*ck up.
@:22 IT’S ON NOW
@ 1:10 Nom Nom Nom Bacardi Limon
@1:33 I’m the “morena” funny, I don’t see one here
@ 2:06 For sake’s sake, I hope this wasn’t filmed in Miami.
@2:10 “No matter your race, CUZ TODAY YOU’RE LATINO” My motto, EERYDAY THAT I SHUFFLE
@ 3:23 Thank you, SBK. Whomever you are.
@3:25 Aaaand that’s the end of the video there’s nothing else to see here.
During my tenure at Northeastern University, I was a proud member of L.A.S.O., the Latino(a)-American Student Organization. Only slightly Cuban, according to my father, (which, indeed is a vingette you should promt me to share) I have always been fully Latina en mi corazon. It also helps I appear Panamanian to some folks, whatever that means. Did I mention I’m fluent in Spanish?
That said, this vid makes me wat to grab my inverse-Puerto Rican flag & run with it down 5th ave.
VIVA MICHAEL DE LORENZO!
(This was supposed to be very exciting, but making the upside down Exclamation Point here remains a mystery.)
Love,
Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays: Naughty By Nature
As we cling to, what are literally, the last 2 days of summer, I thought to myself;
1. I should probably stop drooling & crying
2. Planet Fitness will see me a lot less
3. Why doesn’t Yankee Stadium have a retractable dome
4. WHAT WOULD NAUGHTY BY NATURE DO
Thanks to 1995, we know. (Re) Presenting one of the best Summer songs ever made. EVAR:
@ :10 I kinda want a pager again. It screams “drug dealer”. Or “Important prostitute”.
@ :18 Naturally, a ghetto blaster is the perfect accessory to said pager.
@ :44 Makes me think of Bed Stuy
@ 1:19 Funny, I, too, was sitting topless on a park bench just last week. T’WAS HOT THEN
@1:55 Negroes in snow. There will never be better winter apparel than there was in the ’90s.
@ 2:55 Blacks may not swim, BUT THEY SURE DO SKI
@ 3:39 But Of course! I can wear midriffs underneath my coat. But keep them open. Problem solved. Pneumonia acquired.
Man, that was fun. But as Naughty by Nature said, we should embrace the wintertime. Reversing the stereotype, they ran from the heat.
Let’s go ahead & get this out in the open:
Sorry men. I don’t really look the same the other 8 months of the year. NATURE FORCES ME TO WEAR CLOTHING.
Rightfully so, Treach does not approve.
Just a little yummy nostalgia on your otherwise bland mid-work week.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Maverick- All Night
…or Money Mav, as I like to call him. Mav & I have been friends for about 6 years now.
(See proof in obligatory, dated, “having fun” picture)
Many of you may know Mav from Boston’s JAMN 94.5.
Well, that’s how I know him too.
You might also remember him from the very first “Unwrapped” I did.
Without further ado,
@ :07 That’s not the car I’m used to #ThingsInTheGameDoneChanged
@ :10 Taylor Lautner?
@ :46 I think she just Dutty Wined. If she did, I know who’s responsible for teaching her
@ 1:10 Yup, that’s Taylor Lautner.
@ 1:13 Please direct your attention to the far right of your screen, White sweater, white man, tippy toes.
@1:33 Dangerously close to a bodyroll
@ 1:42 Jajajaja
@1:53 All about interracial “macking”
@1:57 I always wondered what happened to real money in videos. NOW WE KNOW
@2:15 Is that Tyrone? CAWL HIM
@ 2:50 I’d like to know who that is. Funny, I never met these friends WHEN I WAS IN BOSTON
@3:07 Never seen a complete basketball palm on an actual person, but I like it
All in all, it’s good. Very dance-y, very united-nations-y, and very funny vid. Good work Money!
I’d better get a call concering the next shoot. OR ELSE
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- 2Pac (Part 2)
One week, two anniversaries. The first, and most impotant, was this Sunday. As a New Yorker, I wept all day. I remembered, I watched, I listened. 10 years have already passed, and it is still unbelievable.
Yesterday marked the 15th year since Tupac Shakur passed. Again, it’s been 15 years since 1997. Naturally this Wednesday’s post is a medley of dedications.
First, one of my absolute favorite ‘Pac songs:
The Aforementioned Coolio, Ice-T. Listen to the words, look at the visuals.
So what Coolio is a Peeping Tom? I advise you to simply not visit that hotel.
and, of course,
Isn’t it all we can do?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: The Beyonce- 1+1
Don’t you ever forget. It is all about The Beyonce. And she’ll remind you every time.
@ :24 She’s wet. Still looks great. Who else’s fake hair can do that?
@ :31
@ :37 Me neither. Failed math. In college.
@ :46 Don’t get carried away here guys (& some gals). The Beyonce’s wearing some sort of tank top.
@1:02 Is it sheer? LET IT HANG
@ 1:07 Did Jay-Z approve this? It’s to be expected of Rihanna, but HE’S GOT GOONS
@ 1:27 
@ 1:41 This, ladies & gentlemen, is The Beyonce Experience.
@ 1:44 “REALIZE HOW MAJESTIC I AM.”
@1:47 “I’LL STAY QUIET WHILE YOU DO SO”
@ 2:07 2 virtual The Beyonces are better than 1 Solange.
@ 2:29 Any excuse to use this is worth taking
Relax, I know she’s not being that extreme.
@ 2:41 Ok, just so we’re clear, not Jigga’s arms.
@ 3:05 I don’t feel like I need a boob job now?
@ 3:12 “If, by now, you’re somehow unaware of how hot I am, allow me to demonstrate by dragging this ice all over me.”
@3:38 Smoking
@ 3:42 Bondage
@ 3:46 Bathtub
@ 3:57 Heat
@ 4:02 Cool
This is shaping up to be a wild night in the life of The Beyonce.
Like every other Destiny’s Child vid of her, there’s nothing else to focus on. The song will have to grow on me, mainstream media will make sure it does.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Ja Rule
A couple of nostalgic Wednesdays ago, I posted about DMX & his “Get Of Out Jail Free Card”. At the end of that video stood a Osh-Kosh-B’Gosh clad Ja Rule beside Mr. Simmons. This got me thinking:
DMX just got out of jail.
Ja Rule just went to jail.
DMX made some really good music. Like, seriously.
Ja Rule made some really catchy music you couldn’t help but like.
Admit it or not, “Rule Baby” had some songs that were actually good. I am admitting a guilty pleasure. So are you by reading this. And enjoying the following video:
@ :08- So what he’s a foot under the shortest vid skid? He’ll throw his hands up to distract you
@ :23- Jajajaja Tommy Hilfiger manties. With the thick ’90′s logo
@ :50- Best line in whole song.
@ 1:38 Underpass dancing! Definite ’90′s staple for any video
@ 2:10 The fact they’re dressed like camp counselors makes it all worthwhile
@ 2:36 Same Tommy underwear? This better be later that same day
@2:49 1st time I’ve noticed he used The “N” word and “Brandished” back to back
@ 2:56 Is she bored? Perhaps she can focus on that stupid a** hat
This looks remarkably like “The Thong Song” video
So what? No one “beefed”.
Until 50 put the nail in that coffin.
Good grief.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Ryan Leslie @ Summerstage & The “Almost” Bodyroll
Ryan Leslie killed Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem.
He’s currently one of the most underrated artists out.
What was best about the performance was it’s immediacy– no openers, tightly clothed dancers, just Ryan & his piano, (which he barely touched. It made for a nice prop) band.
…Perhaps I fibbed about the lack of dancers. They just happened to be front row, male, and crotch-level with Mr. Leslie.
Never have I ever witnessed two grown men giggle like that. Over another grown man.
At any rate,ignore the people walking through the shots take a gander at the performances:
Valentine-
How It Was Supposed To Be-
@2:45- Notice the back up (front up?) dancers. 
@ 3:06- That’s not just naked glitter dangling from Ryan’s leg. It’s a Givenchy scarf.
@ 3:10- Dangerously close to a bodyroll. Perilously. Remember the Rules Of BodyRolling.
Everything, Everyday, Everywhere/Start It Up/You Be Killin ‘Em-
Diamond Girl-
@3:03 Yes, that’s Prince’s Diamonds & Pearls.
No interview– R. Les had a studio session right after the show. I should sit down with him soon, and we’ll talk about Harvard, Cassie, Why he’s linked to the NBA lockout, & of course, bodyrolling.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Jay-Z & Kanye West- Otis
Thus began day 7 of The Internets dying all over Watch The Throne. With the promise of the “Otis” video premiere.
@:06 Careful with that torch. Near the car and all.
@ :23 Much like dentists the tooth fairy, I do not believe in Kanye West welding.
@ :27 Is that a broach?
@ :35 A little bit of hopscotch to begin the vid
@ 1:03 Fronts? Like circa 2000?
@ 1:36 Nice blouse Kanye
@ 1:59 Riding in Maybach with no doors, BUT SEAT BELT SAFETY STILL PREVAILS
@ 2:07 Heheh
@2:26 Have we ever seen Jay-Z so affectionate?
@ 2:34 Aziz Ansari has just realized he came over dressed.
@ 2:36 Also, he can’t dance.
@ 3:10 Consciousness.
Not even The Beyonce herself can make Mr. Carter as happy as Kanye West can.
<3 BFFs 4 Ever
Sick song, sick vid.
As long as this doesn’t go the way of Best of Both Worlds.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Jay-Z
In the spirit of “Watch The Throne” and the internet frenzy it’s ensued, I’d figured I’d attract more traffic by simply having that phrase appear here, alongside the word “download”.
“Watch The Throne”
“Download”
“Watch The Throne”
“Download”
“WTT”
“Download”
Whilst I conduct this experiment, you can take a trip back in time to a point where Kanye & Jay weren’t yet Bff’s, in one of my nostalgia favorites:
-When Timbaland still had Ballpark Frank neck.
-When Pamela Anderson was in that show V.I.P.
- @ 2:17 He probably slept with her.
-When it was cool for Eddie Murphy to play every part in a movie
-B.J. :Get your filth-ridden minds out of the gutter Before Jayonce
-Before SuperHead wrote a book describing every Negro male in this video
-Before Amil was banished from the ROC & NEVER TO BE SPOKEN OF AGAIN
Those were the good ol’ days.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
