Category Archives: WTF
Queen Kobe
In honor of my Celtics taking it to the hole (pause) last night & moving one step up in the 2010 NBA Finals…
I decided to write about Kobe Bryant.
This post is dedicated to 2 very special people, and 2 of the top 5 funniest people I know (and in existence) Maury Turay & David Auguste.
Love these guys.
& These guys have an unhealthy semi-homoerotic ongoing love affair with Kobe Bryant…
and something tells me they’re in luck.
So I dedicate this “Best of Kobe” montage to them:
If you weren’t impressed with his sportsmanship yet…here it comes…
Just when you thought these zesty ass pictures from the L.A. Times died… I went ahead & brought them back.
He took the L on this one. Best part is, I don’t even have to say anything.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
What in Sam Hell? Wyclef?
In the wake of the KFC Double Down,
I see that this monstrosity of a commercial has to go.
Watching The Early Show while getting dressed this morning, this met my eyes on their way up from my boots:
how dreadful.
Wyclef Jean, the most popular Haitan, is fresh from helping his native in their dire time of need. By no way is that on trial here.
The decision to do this commercial is.
Why they got this [insert 5-letter adjective here] dressed like Tony the Tiger doing soft-shoe in the middle of the street?
Wyclef definitely took the L on this one.
The problem isn’t that there are folks of all races enjoying crackers in the street.
The problem is this [insert 5-letter adjective here] is doing a step & fetch with a damn baton over some f*ckin buttered crackers while everyone gapes on.
At a block party.
I’m surprised they didn’t stick a piece of chicken in his hand
I’m surprised he did this.
Yup Charlie Murphy feels the same way.
Just wanted to point out how foolish this commercial looked.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Like this:
Young Whore
The poster child for teen abstinence (or promiscuity) Bristol Palin was caught at a popular NYC hot spot on Wednesday night.
Everyone who’s anyone knows that no reputable or half-decent NYC club will admit anyone under the age of 21.
With that said…
…Ain’t she someone’s mother???
Apparently that didn’t faze her, but merely being at the club did. She apparently was a nervous wreck the whole night because she knew that she wasn’t supposed to be there. Also, perhaps, because everyone was going to find out and talk about it, because she’s this idiot’s
offspring.
Of course, all this comes right on the heels of Bristol’s new “good girl” facade & getting honored at Truth: Teen Mom’s Tell All & Candie’s Event To Prevent earlier that evening.
Here’s the point:
If you’re being honored at events for teen mothers who are good role models, sneaking into 21+ NY nightclubs is probably not part of the description.
I guess what I’m saying is that we should pay more attention to who we honor & elect as spokesmodels.
or invite to White House Correspondent’s Dinners
Wait– famous for a sextape and you get to hang with the President of the United States and Justin Bieber in the same night?
Maybe things are just fine the way they are.
Love,
Top 5 Pervs You Wouldn’t Want To Get Into In An Elevator With
No matter if you’re a guy or a girl.
Yesterday, Pro Football Hall Of Famer & Ex Giant Lawrence Taylor earned himself a new set of stats:
-Arrested.
- Charged with 3rd degree rape & of a 16 year old girl (the charge also carries patronizing a prostitute as an offense).
-A pimp (allegedly) put the two in contact.
-There is a refusal by Taylor’s camp to admit whether or not he knew how old this girl was.
-Admitted to paying for the sex. $300, to be exact.
-Was at a Holiday Inn in Ramapo, NY where the attack took place.
- Is 51 & actually lives in Pembroke Pines, FL with his wife & kids.
-He has a bald-headed attorney named Arthur Aidala who is entirely too animated.
-Says he was in that area of NY on business.
[Insert 5-letter adjective here] what kind of business you got in Ramapo. NY??
Who ever even heard of Ramapo, NY before today?
In the wake of this whole Lawrence Taylor -hall-of-famer-turned-weird-hazy-night-in-hotel-with-16-year-old-mess, I decided he shouldn’t be alone in this category.
There are many more pervs that no one wants to be bothered with at this…or any point. Without further ado:
Presenting
The Top 5 Pervs We Wouldn’t Want To Get Into An Elevator With:
5. 
Lawrence Taylor. Damn [Insert 5-letter adjective here]. Another decorated sports Black man bites the dust. What is is about money & fame that makes one twist their morals inside out, and completely loose their perception of what’s right & wrong? allowed?
4. Pee Wee Herman
A whole bunch of sh*t that doesn’t go together is the montage for his show? That’s supposed to symbolize whats going on in his head?? If this isn’t an indicator of a creepster, I don’t know what is.
Oh yeah
Did Pee Wee not have that lil’ snafu in a movie theatre in the 1991? And in 2002? Besides, he chose a pseudonym that are both references for urine.
3. This guy:
http://msofficer.com/2010/03/14/underaged-girls-vol-2-0/
2. 
George Rekers. The anti-gay (Christian) activist that rents barely legal boys from…where else? Rentboy.com
(I swear can’t make this sh*t up)
Rekers was seen with the 20-year-old gay escort, Lucien, leaving Miami International Airport 2 weeks ago. When prompted about what the two could possibly have to do with each other, Rekers simply replied that he “was trying to spread a message of love to Lucien”.
Yes. A message of horizontal love.
1. R. Kelly
The mere virtue of the fact that he calls himself “the Pied Piper of R&B” (or R&Pee as I affectionately like to call him) should set off an alarm.
The Pied Piper was a children’s tale of a man who played the flute throughout the town…to attract children. The Pied Piper of Hamlin eventually led the crowd of kids to their death.
All looks the same to me.
Well…
Think of it this way. Chingy had to come back at some point.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Top 10 Athletes Turned-Rappers-Turned-Athletes-Again
Sometimes the worlds of Hip Hop & sports intersect.
In this instance, it was cool. Reminisce on what the high-top fade was all about.
Yet sometimes the lines get horribly crossed.
In honor of tonight’s highly anticipated sporting events: Boston Celtics vs. Clevland Cavs & , Sugar Shane Mosley vs. Floyd Money Mayweather, I’ve decided to take us to a simpler time-
The top 10 athletes-turned-rappers-then-turned-back-to -sports-becuase-they-realized-they-were-only-good-at-sports songs
Like any art form, its a blessing when you realize you are equipped with a talent that could potentially take your arena to the next level.
It’s a shame when you quit it for something you suck at.
Presentingggg
10. Brian McKnight Feat. Kobe- Hold Me
“Your love, it is like a sword. It is now slicing. Gently. Through this body here before you. When you leave, I start to weep”.
That’s a big ass hoop earring in B. McKnight’s ear, ain’t it?
9. Shaq & T.W.Is.M.- You Can’t Stop The Reign
Good Grief. Only in ’95 would Shaq in a westuit fly uncensored.
Where does the conversation go after you say, “I used to be signed to T.W.Is.M.”?
8. Shaq Feat. Def Jef- I Know I Got Skillz
“They call me XT”
“What’s that Shaq, man?”
“Xtra Tall-em”
…this could easily turn into an all-O’Neal countdown.
8. Deion Sanders- Must Be The Money
First he made this song. Then, he bodyrolled in the video. Repeatedly.
7. Allen Iverson- 40 Bars
“This type-a-murder don’t need no hook. Just 40 f*ckin bars from the mouf of a crook”
David Stern didn’t stop the album because it was offensive, he stopped it because it was dismal.
6. Ron Artest- Fever
This has unquestionably has made heavy rounds on BET Uncut.
5. Tony Parker- Balance Toi
French Rap? No Thank You.
If it sucks in French, chances are, it sucks in English.
4. John Cena- My Time Is Now
I’m thinking exactly what you’re thinking.
3. Kobe Bryant Feat. Tyra Banks- K.O.B.E.
What a f*ckin disaster
2. Randy Savage- Be A Man
Obviously not an official video, but I would certainly be remiss if I didn’t include this monstrosity in some way shape or form
1. Roy Jones Jr.- Ya’ll Musta Forgot
I love Roy Jones Jr. as much as the next person. He is really one of my favorite fighters.
But sh*t if he ain’t wearing his age sounding like:
Bonus:
You don’t see Ice Cube playing basketball.
You don’t see Manu Ginobli trying to learn English get signed to Def Jam.
The point here is not discouraging one being multifaceted.
It’s discouraging bad music.
Anywho, just to show my support:
Team Mayweather
Go Gang Green!
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Clinton On Welfare
As it turns out, Bill Clinton has a brother, Roger.
This brother, Roger, has a daughter, Macy.
And she’s on food stamps.
Macy says that since a DNA test (you know, the kind they use here):
she took at 6 years old proved Roger was, indeed, her paternal father. She’s only met him a couple of times. He’s also never handed her a dime.
Apparently he promised her a trust fund, using his brother’s money using his old druggie money when Macy turned 18. That hasn’t happened. As a result, Macy feeds herself on a government issued benefits card so she can get free food at her local grocery store.
The mother, Martha Spivey, says she wants to go after the Clinton deadbeat– for upwards of $30,000 in back child support.
Here we have 2 Clinton brothers on our hands.
The good egg, Bill. Former President of the United States. Not once, but twice:
….aaaand this guy:
Haven’t we seen “The Other Sibling Disorder” before?
So Macy should’t feel too alone in this.
However, she is a cosmetology student with (and I quote–Via Huffington Post): “An unspecified part time job.”
What the hell kind of “unspecified part-time job” could a Clinton have?
There’s only 1 of 2 options:
Working for
or working for
Either way, I’m pretty sure talking about this on Inside Edition is not in her job description. She better get back to work.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Laura Bush Killed A Guy
Today, the former 1st Lady, Laura Bush, finally made a public admission that many have known for quite some time:
She killed someone. A young man by the name of Mike Douglas in 1963.
The accident was horrific, and Laura finally opens up about it in her new memoir, Spoken From The Heart.
That is, unless, you had not already heard about it from the place America gets most of their news from…
Family Guy.
And as terrible as that was, I did not find that to be the worst part of what she revealed.
She touched on why her husband didn’t rush down to New Orleans the minute he heard Katrina hit.
Via Newser.com:
George W. only flew over New Orleans after Katrina, she says, because “he did not want one single life to be lost because someone was catering to the logistical requirements” of a visiting president.
You mean to tell me that
Didn’t want to interrupt this
With this??
Busy romancing just-a-then-AZ senator John “Rodeo” McCain. They were enjoying some cake on an airport runway on the kind-of Maverick’s Birthday. Airport runways are the #1 place to eat cake by 100 people surveyed.
How can he possibly be so inconsiderate?
I keep hoping to read that line over & over again & the excuse not be so outlandishly ridiculous, but it isn’t.
Do you think that if this was a Black or newly banned Brown Laura Bush story, it would’ve been different?
Discuss
Love,
*Ms. Officer
The Forbidden Commercial
So I posted about this as it happened, but the truth was, no one wanted to see any fat chicks on TV.
Thank God for the internet.
On this weightless stomping ground, just about anything goes.
If you’re interested, here’s the banned Lane Bryant Giant commercial:
Ew.
Personally, I don’t care to see the Victoria’s Secret commercials. And I damn sure don’t care to see this.
*Ms. Officer
SEC Members Caught Looking At Porn
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Haven’t we seen this before?
The Republicans get to be (very temporarily) vindicated and finally get to point the finger at someone else who is f*cking up. Take’s one to know one, right?
Republicans Love Having Phone Sex
Members of the SEC were caught looking at porn on their work computers, while they were supposed to be busy saving the country from an economic meltdown pretending to work.
Canada is laughing in our faces right now. Bet they’re glad they got out of here while they could.
But wait. There’s more. A senior attorney at the SEC’s Washington headquarters spent up to 8 hrs a day looking at & downloading porno. When he ran out of space on his hard drive (no pun intended) he burned more porn to CD’s & DVD’s and kept them in boxes he had stacked all around his office.
He agreed to resign.
Something’s not right here.
Who were the motherf*ckers who were in his office chillin & not smelling or saying anything?
Where was HR during all this?
No sexual harassment complaints after he looked at porn upwards of 8 hrs./day?
You mean to tell me no one went into this dude’s office & saw “Let Me Ram Your Ass Vol. 5″ sitting upright in a box along with its 4 predecessors & no one said anything?
Who interned for him?
I’m pretty sure
would rather spend his days
and
As our lawyer would, than monitoring the stability of the U.S. market & regulating wall street’s reckless deregulated laissez faire spending.
Does no one see the alignment between politicians and rappers??
Allow me to remind you that at my graduation, the speaker was Christopher Cox, then chairman of the SEC. Not even 8 months later ended up at #4 on Time Magazine’s “Top 25 People to Blame For The Financial Crisis”
Nice, NU.
Lil’ Wayne On Suicide Watch
Dr. Lil’ Wayne?
I damn sure know you never thought you’d hear those two words together.
//
Let alone getting you to believe them.
It was hard enough for me to find a picture of him reading, let alone with a book. And it’s not even a book. It’s amagazine. You gotta take what you can get, huh?
Even harder to believe, Lil’ Wayne is being treated like any other person in jail and was given a job behind bars. Some one thought it’d be a good idea to send Weezy to counsel inmates who are on suicide watch.
This career move was confirmed by Weezy’s ex-wife, Toya, who also complained, quote:
“Wayne has a job — they got him on suicide watch for other prisoners. He watches the crazy prisoners and makes sure they don’t kill themselves. He likes the job even though they don’t pay him much.”
//
Is this basic b*ch serious? I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
Welp, since we’re in the season…of…ignorance, presentinnnnggggg:
The Top 5 Lil’ Wayne Suicide Songs (In no particular order)
1. Lil’ Wayne Feat. Eminem- Drop The World
He wants to “leave Earf?” Enough said.
2. The Game Feat. Lil’ Wayne- My Life
Asking for his life to be taken? Sign #2 he shouldn’t be counseling someone else on this matter.
3. Birdman Feat. Lil’ Wayne & Mack Maine- Always Strapped
Uhm, someone who is “Always Strapped” damn sure shouldn’t be doling out advice on life
4. Enrique Iglesias Feat. Lil’ Wayne- Push
Any one of those prisoners was better off before hearing this.
5. Lil’ Wayne- I Feel Like Dying
He said he feels like dying.
*Bonus*
Lil’ Wayne Feat. Robin Thicke- Shooter
Ugh.
I’m gonna go ahead and chalk this up to the recession and say there are a shortage of people who are actually certified for this kind of thing.
How To Text: A Tutorial, By Tiger Woods
As per my previous “translation” posts, I certainly have garnered numerous requests for another. Your wish is my command.
Although this post should be entitled “How to create instant nausea by imagining tiger woods during sexual intercourse”, I chose to go with the above instead. This obviously is about the sexts King Woods sent one of his many muses. This time is was Joslyn James, a pornstar who said Elin had a right to know what went on saw her chance to get in on this shine slipping away due to a pending reconciliation:
And a fast approaching Master’s tourney where Woods will make his triumphant I’m-gonna-try-to-sell-something-other-than-blow-up-dolls- so-i-need-more-endorsements- return to golf.
Boy, this dude can’t seem to get rid of these hoes!
Make sure you are not in the process of eating or kissing, for this will undoubtedly make you toss your cookies. And that is not sexy.
My italicized commentary is what you live for! Here goes:
Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down:)
I got tested, doc says I’m ok. But that sh*t you let me do to you was nastyyyyyyyyy
Tiger:Sent: 11: 08 PM 08/23/2009:
I like when you do that to me
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you
And then pull out really quickly as to not impregnate you. No evidence.
Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad
Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
That was in response to the question “Are your kids home?”
Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
Tiger:Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no
“I would like to have intercourse with you and your closest female friend in which you confide. Is this enticing to you or shall I suggest another means of interrogating about this matter?”
Damn. Can’t you just see Urkel right in front of you when you read that sh*t?
Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls
I’m trying to tell you that I want to hook up with another guy with you there too. So we can swordfight. But I gotta gauge where you’re at first.
Tiger:Sent: 03:52 PM 08/29/2009:
God girl. You better want to take care of me
Tiger:Sent: 04″02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
I want to mistreat you. Then call you bad words my mother said I shouldn’t say, then hit you. I know that’s not nice either, because my mother said that too.
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my f—— w—-
Wow. He’s actually right here.
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Makes me feel like a slavemaster. I like that.
Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the F— up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
Ok, wow.
Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten
You don’t have any choice in being bitten, I’ve already made that decision for you. I will allow you to choose where.
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Wow. That’s pretty sick. He actually wants her to eat sh*t. But she probably has. She is a porn star.
I conclude that a sex addiction clinic was not where Tiger should have been sent. Perhaps anger management might have suited the situation a little better.
![[_4unsafejb__oPt.jpg]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_u3lFqBksmrE/S6SrFbRNlII/AAAAAAAAcZM/bbj1Ko3o-2c/s1600/_4unsafejb__oPt.jpg)
hey…it coulda been worse. At least the exchange was not with a man.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
This Is Weird. And Gross.
If you guessed Rielle Hunter, you were right.
Former presidential hopeful John Edwards’ baby mamma came out today in a spread for GQ magazine, for which she made sure to let us know she saw not 1 dime cuz Johnny is still paying her off, somewhere in the neighborhood of $150,000 calling it “child support”.
There is nothing remotely suave, appealing, or sexy about a woman who slept with a married man on the campaign trail, accused John’s buddy of fathering the child, then pointing the finger at Edwards himself once it became profitable.
It’s actually the exact opposite.
I don’t possibly see what can be attractive about this woman, so take a look at these odd pictures and decide for yourself:
Dressed in John Edwards’ shirt Was it really a good idea to put this woman in an oversized men’s shirt, seeing as how this is probably part of the whole problem in the first place?
What’s with the midriff and the baby? What, exactly is the situation which calls for both a half-shirt and a toddler?
This is easily the most bizarre picture of the trio. What is it with the stuffed animals and the pantslessness here? Is she trying to send some weird molester-y message here? What do the two have to do with each other?
Aside from John Edwards, does anyone have the desire to see this woman half naked?
She looks like him.
Yikes.
But I digress. If you care to be even more repulsed, here is actual video of the photo shoot.
http://www.gq.com/video?videoID=71716714001
This turns my stomach.
At least until it’s feeding time again.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Underaged Girls Vol. 2.0
I bet you this guy:
Is wiping his brow this week because this fart face,
took most of last week’s political scandal shine.
In yet another blow to the GOP, allow me to introduce Utah’s Republican Senator & House Majority leader Kevin Garn.
His sexual escapades were all but nearly swept under the rug…until I came across it and dragged it back out into the light of day.
Overshadowed by Eric Massa’s inescapably odd sex inappropriate touching of male staffers decades younger than him, the Utah politician managed to scoot by the weekend pretty cleanly.
Garn’s actions were so deplorable, he couldn’t even wait until the weekend’s end to resign, so he just gave up and did it on Saturday.
What were the charges you say? Well let’s take a looksie:
- He fessed up to hot tubbing it up (about 30 years ago) with a naked underage girl who was only 15, (not just kinda underage in some states, like 17 year olds are)
-Garn then paid the teen hush money so she’d keep quiet about their tryst and not cause interfere with his marriage.
-The woman, Cheryl Maher is now 40 and says that the hottub thing happened on more than one occasion during the time she used to babysit for his kids.
That’s like Danny Tanner
getting horizontal with
Kimmy Gibbler.
or like Bob Saget…
….being Bob Saget
Maher says she started contacting various media outlets about it only last week because he stopped paying her she wanted some closure to the whole thing.
Cheryl also says she wrote a letter to the Church of Later Day Saint’s in ’08 detailing their illegal nighttime encounters. The Church investigated and later excommunicated Maher. This woman also claims that Kevin’s wife, Tanya even came with him one time to make a payoff to Maher of $150,000. Cheryl states that Kevin touched her, but won’t elaborate any more on what specifically happened.
Is this what Mormons do in their free time?
But as bizzare as this whole thing is, it takes an even weirder turn. Kevin was Cheryl’s Sunday School teacher. When she was in 4th grade.
How does this man not scream sex offender??
Safe from a skit in this week’s Saturday Night Live, One can only hope this makes it’s way there next week… and certainly onto Colbert & Stewart.
Not for nothing, (whatever that damn phrase means) Kevin Garn need not fret, for he has a true friend in the matter.
One who’s walked the tight rope of accused child molestation and public scrutiny.
One who’s bared the burden of joke after joke, whether it be in live or cartoon form.
One who’s admitted discussed his accusations in one way or another several times over the years.
One who’s pulled themselves up out of the dust and is seemingly living a life of (relative) normalcy and is back to selling like he used to.
Kevin Garn’s next question should be:
What Would R. Kelly Do?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Blacks Were Better Off As Slaves??
No. No this cannot be.
Not during Black History Month 2010.
Not as a person with a functioning brain able to string words together in a coherent sentence.
Not as Trent Lott reenacted.
As if the GOP doesn’t already look like a bunch of unruly screaming obscenely spoiled children,
or
Arizona Rep. Trent Franks flew off at the mouth, pretty much stating that Black people were better off under slavery than with today’s laws.
With conservative blogger Mike Stark at the helm, the conversation was immediately directed into a ditch. A deep one. About 6 feet.
Franks was quoted saying:
“And yet today, half of all Black children are aborted. far more of the African American community is being devastated by the policies of today than were being devastated by the policies of slavery.”
But that is not all.
Enter this woman:
Day Gardener, Who managed to slip into the new decade with ’80′s hair & make-up and the name of some sort of hippie love-child. This woman is the President of the National Black Pro-Life Union…and agrees with the man who can barely keep his eyes open.
Although Gardener acknowledges that slavery is wrong, she does and is obviously against abortion, I just can’t fathom why she wants to continue to build on this comparison.
At ant rate, Franks’ comments are still abhorrent.
We can all discern, at the very least living>dying. But where it comes into question is under what circumstances.
Here is the video. Feel free to pee on him now.
Back to your regular helping of “The Mondays”
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Old Ass Nevada Gov. Sexing Up Playboy Bunny?
Booooooy these stories just get better and better.
Enter Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons (r.)
As ignorant as he looks, he was accused by this chick,
Chrissy Mazzeo ( a former Playboy model) is accusing Gov. Gibbons of sexual assault.
Yes.
This guy.
We are supposed to belive the backlog for this story:
After heavily drinking in Las Vegas, dude hemmed Mazzeo up in a parking lot, where he began to glide his Gold-Bond medicated hands all over her body while salivating on himself. She didn’t press charges immediately after it (allegedly) happened in 2006, but on February 5th of this year. On that day, Mazzeo’s lawyer, Bob Kossack 4 hours acosted lured him in with promises of Smarties, Olde English and prostitues deposed Jim.
Now this is not to say that a man his age cannot sexually assault, harass, probe, make want to vomit anyone.
It’s to say that his alibi for such a crime is not only preposterous, ridiuclous, and shameful;
It’s downright funny.
Bob was able to yank “that he hasn’t been sexually intimate with any woman since 1995.”
Gibbons also proclaims that he “is living proof that he’s a scumbag you can survive without sex for that long”
Let’s back up just a second here.
He hasn’t been sexual with any woman SINCE the California Love came out?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWOsbGP5Ox4
Well, let’s explore the options of what/who he could’ve had sex with in that time (and possibly for a lot less than this lawsuit is going to cost him):
1. 
An Apple Pie
2.
Only the thousands of hookers crawling up & down the Las Vegas strip. I’m sure they invented sex out there from what I hear.
3. 
Cocaine. Who doesn’t like to fornicate with or on drug powder?
4. 
Former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey.
It’s most likely a lie that he’s been a re-virgin for the last decade & a half, as he has “a travelling companion” named Kathy Karrasch.
Not to say that this Chrissy person is not to blame in all this. Why wait 4 years to sue someone on a claim that they felt you up in a parking lot on a hazy, drunken night? If you need the money, you need the money, right?
This has janky written all over it.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
