Category Archives: WTF
NY Rep. Christopher Lee Wants You To Know He Sexts Too
Everyone Looks The Same To Me.
Christopher Lee Sexting
Atlanta sicko sexter Eddie Long.
Craigslist, notorious playground for psycos, stalkers &…sexters spawned this NY rep. to deliver a topless picture of himself to…a W4M.
Christoper Lee is a 46 year-old Buffalo area Republican who
-Takes pride in his graying chest hair
-Likes to take photos in front of his children’s completed puzzles
-Wants you to admire his bulging flex.
Or growing fist pump.
Or b*tchin’ bod.
If I had a bottle of pasta sauce that was being troublesome, I wouldn’t nominate he open it for me.
No worries, buffalo in Buffalo, he resigned and apologized immediately after the pics & “flirty” e-mails were released. The 34 year-old unidentified recipent was looking to get herself stuffed inside someone’s freezer by using Craigslist for proof the creepesters men on the site did not “look like toads”.
Instead of just announcing himself as “I’m married Rep. Christopher Lee. My pic is up on my site that ends in house.gov, so you know I’m legit. That’s me in front of the White House. If you like, press yes if you think I don’t look like a toad.” He chose to wow her. With this. And his use of the most nauseating emoticon 
“”Hope I’m not a toad. i’m a very fit fun classy guy,” he wrote. “6ft 190lbs blond/blue. 39. Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint anyone but my family and my constituents. And my district.”
(Quote courtesy NY Daily News)
Certainly these types of scandals are not new because of the internet. They’re everybody’s business because of the internet.
Mission accomplished. I’m glad he looks up to people who too have walked similar roads, like former NY rep Eric Massa.
“W. 19. Black/Dark Brown. I hoe I don’t look like a toad.”
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Geezer Vs. Geezer- MC Hammer Disses Jay-Z in New Track
Who else was completely unaware MC Hammer was still alive in a sparring match with Jiggaman?
“Hammer went broke, so you know I’m more focused/I lost 30 mil’, so I spent another 30/’Cause unlike Hammer, 30 million can’t hurt me.- Jay-Z on Kanye West’s “So Appalled”
@ :01 At least this is in HD.
@ 1:07 Who’s idea was it for a close up on Hammer while he licked his lips??
@ 1:08 Why is this office sh*t so long?
@ 1:38 This is an extreme case of Moobs. Yes. Man boobs. Gimmie my credit on that word when you outsource it.
@ 1:45 BWHAHAHAH Those shirts are obnoxious
@ 1:53 Ciara?
@ 2:16 Did he just tweek?
@ 2:44 That is not the least bit intimidating.
@ 2:27 Enough of Ciara’s solo now.
@ 3:24You can tell that was one of those lines he thought was really clever. Probably exclaimed “Oh Dip!”
P.S.: Didn’t Jay sell Rocawear a couple of years ago?
@ 3:35 Is Stanley Kirk Burell even from N.Y.? That’s what I thought.
@ 4:35 In Jay’s defense, he’s not that fat.
I kinda want Jay-Z to respond to this. Not, in like, a Super Ugly type of way…but in like an “I know this is sh*tty & I just wanted to let you know that I’m aware it exists and I think this is sh*tty” type of way.
If that doesn’t work out, he can always just play with himself.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Tell Daniel “Boobie” Gibson It’s Not Ok To Rap (Audio Included)
No, NO, NO.
Daniel “Boobie” Gibson has become the latest athlete to bite the dust in this horrid, unrelenting epidemic.
Just because he is almost married to Keyshia Cole, doesn’t mean he should make music. You don’t see her hanging out with them, do you?
(The horror starts around 2:30)
Gibson could be trying to emulate Houston rapper legend
Bun B, in which case he does a sh*tty, sh*tty job. Also proving what (many) people have been saying about Southern Rap for years.
I suppose this wouldn’t have been half as bad if Boobie’s debut didn’t come in the form of a sock puppet. A poorly put together sock puppet. In front of stacks of money. With a hand (I presume is not Boobie’s) up it’s ass.
And, if nothing else, this vid let the cat out of the bag. Boobie & Miss Piggy have been sexting.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Why “The View” Is F**ked, Reason #786 (The Bill O’Reilly Edition)
Bill O’ Reilly was on “The View” this morning. This is what happened.
What a mess.
No doubt the Mosque issue is a sensitive one.
Bill O’Reilly is a frozen head from 1760 polarizing figure. You have to watch him to know what he’s saying, but not for too long, you’ll lose brain matter. No matter the topic, he will find a way to dredge up the brimstone in you. Unless, of course, you’re Dipset.
The View is composed of a bunch of cackling b***hes.
Like oil and water, or like whatever two elements you mix together to go “BOOM!”, it should have already been known
by the talent booker
by the producers
by the doorman
by O’ Reilly’s nose hairs
that this was going to get out of hand.
Whoopi was out of pocket during Mel KKK Gibsongate, and now this. Even though O’Reilly is a sh*tty, sh*tty person– it was still an interview. Her and the older Ginger shouldn’t have walked out. The audience seemed confused too– they cheered @ 1:36, then again when Thelma & Louise Ginger & Dread walked off of the stage. You can’t agree with both. This only tells me that the audience is comprised of exactly what I thought it was: squirrel monkeys.
Whatever.
The bigger issue here is why Whoopi looks pregnant.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Miami PD Says Jay-Z Is A Gangbanger. And Draws A Picture Of It
So Jay-Z’s raps reflect… Jay-Z. Especially then.
But, like, in September, Jay accomplished a tiny feat… one you might have heard of:
Shawn Carter came a long way. The Beyonce is also married to him.
Not to say that
a.) America’s rich do not commit crimes
b.) Sharing a Forbes cover with Warren Buffet makes one any less of a criminal (if one does, indeed, participate in criminal activity)
c.) Being on a Forbes cover at all automatically vindicates one of any wrongdoing (In fact, it’s probably what got them there in the first place)
but this sh*t is definitely wrong.
Good F*ckin Grief.
This is only a stark reminder that racism, stereotyping, racial profiling, prejudice, biggotry, and a Jim Jones/Jay beef are still very much alive and prevalent.
or
That a gang comprised of 2 Jay-Zs, a Mexican crossdresser, an Asian & a bat-wielding Ginger kid is coming to get you.
Miami might be mad with the Jiggaman,
-Perhaps he’s disrespected their night club couches a time or two
-Perhaps he had a hand in Dwayne Wade’s preseason injury
-Perhaps he’s actually be a law-abiding citizen who no longer rolls with entourages that blow weed every where they go and carry an artillery with them.
-Perhaps he owns property in Miami, which allows him to pay taxes there, which allows those very policemen to protect Jay-Z from…Jay-Z
-Perhaps he’s a successful Black man who capitalized on the American Dream.
-Perhaps they’re still mad at him for this:
Whatever the case may be, the Miami Police Department removed the banner from their website. It’s too late, it already lives on the “internets”.
MPD Spokesperson Naiper Velazquez they were going to contact the IT department to find out who drew this with KidPix the picture’s origins.
I wonder where?
Hilarity Pt. 26- Amare Stoudemire, This [Insert 5-Letter Noun Here]
The culprit– The Body Issue of ESPN Magazine. It features the bodies of tastefully naked athletes…so we can see what they look like naked…without actually having to see them naked.
As new as he is to the Knicks (yes I am still a fan, like Spike Lee) Amare Stoudemire is new to the feature. And here was the result:
!!!!!!!!!
Fingers?? And not even all 5 of them???
I guess everybody gets 1.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Ring The Alarm: Bishop Eddie Long Accuser Jamal Parris Speaks Out, Finally
Good Grief.
At first I didn’t want to touch this, but
after watching this video:
1st: Don’t trust any Negro outside of 1988 with a Jheri Curl.
2nd: Don’t trust any Negro donned in UnderArmour who doesn’t actually f*ckin play football.
3rd: Don’t trust any grown Negro who takes pictures of himself in a bathroom (I hope those are his flip-flops)
4th: Does this remind anyone (else) of Lil’ Wayne & Baby?
5th: Don’t trust any Negro whose last name is Long & accused of sexually abusing 4 (& possibly more) teen boys & “pulls out” of a Tom Joyner interview that could’ve possibly helped him.
Yikes.
I really do hope this whole thing isn’t true. But damn.
Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
How Reggie Bush Became History’s 1st Negro to Be Stripped of the Heisman
He’s the 1st winner in history to be stripped of the title, and he’s a negro.
There is no other way to portray Reggie Bush giving back his Heisman Trophy than with a montage.
It’s how one describes all of life’s monumental events.
Bush as a junior at USC. Smiling like the Cheshire Cat because he hasn’t paid for sh*t in the last year.
The house that scandal built. Or some weird sports memorabilia guy named Michael Michaels (warning sign #1) who let Bush’s parents move in rent-free after they have financial troubles. Michaels also tries to strong arm them into his business. It doesn’t work.
Here they are in 2005 at the award ceremony. The Heisman’s running away already.
Shiftee like Onyx at the 2006 NFL Draft. He goes #2. The other one who kinda looks like him but less attractive, Vince Young, goes #3.
Reggie meets hooker. Things go awry.
Until
The man in the gray finishes caressing his chest and kisses him New Orleans Saints win the Superbowl. No one’s thinking about illegal NCAA gifts now.
Reggie & Hoochie call it quits.
But he gets tangled up with other pointless hoe, Amber Rose. Rose & Kardashian get into a “Twit-fight”.
Then came last week.
Yahoo! Sports conducted an interview with the running back where Bush said quote:
“I’m not even thinking about that. I haven’t gone that far. Here we are the day before the biggest game of the new season [the Saints play host to the Vikings in the NFL opener Thursday], and that’s where my focus is…
Translation:
[Insert 5-letter noun here]z ain’t even worried ’bout that sh*t. [Insert 5-letter noun here]z thinkin’ bout this big ass game tomorrow.”
Saints went on to beat the Vikings, 14-9 in the NFL season (and their home) opener.
Said Reggie via his own ReggieBush.com yesterday afternoon:
I will forever appreciate the honor bestowed upon me as a winner of the Heisman. While this decision is heart-breaking, I find solace in knowing that the award was made possible by the support and love of so many. Those are gifts that can never be taken away.
Translation:
“Ain’t really sh*t I could do about this. You can’t get all that sh*t you gave me back anyway! Besides, [Insert 5-letter noun here]z got a Superbowl Ring, so I could give a sh*t. My bad USC.”
I think we can all concur on how appropriate this is.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
What Mel Gibson Needs:
He’s Racist.
He’s Anti-Semitic.
He’s Sexist.
He’s Mel Gibson.
And he’s in the middle of a nasty custody battle with his babymamma, Oksana Grigorieva, over their 8 month old daughter, Lucia. In case you’ve been too busy snorting coke, last week we heard he was rumored to have lit into her with a string of obscenities, fit for a cronie of Glenn Beck.
Here’s the newest tape, released today:
Here’s the tape released over the weekend:
Obviously this man savage has a couple of issues. What do you think this wildebeest needs in order to mellow out & join hands with the love train?
(Could somebody put some lotion on this n****’s knuckles?)
1. Hang Out With Dipset
No trip to Harlem is complete without eating at Sylvia’s, visiting The Apollo Theater, attending the Schomburg, and of course, hangin’ with the Dips.
See? Even Cam & Jimmy can hold hands so Juelz can jump rope.
Perhaps listening to a Hell Rell album could help Gibson’s understanding of the Black experience? Perhaps cutting an album would help channel some of that frustration lunacy?
2. Get A Lap Dance
Nothing says “I respect women” more than patronizing all the lovely services they have to offer. Gibson should pick his favorite (equal opportunity) topless bar and enjoy the ride.
Besides, you have to support anyone who “uses what they got to get what they want”.
3. Penny Pinch
Perhaps one of the Jewiest qualities around, Gibson better not squander his close-to-billion dollar fortune. He’s going to need every cent for the libel to defend him from the backlash these comments (and other) allegations will cause. The Blacks The Jews went after him before, and will see to it that Gibson (literally) pays.
Ari Emmanuel didn’t like this use of the n-word very much, and finally dropped Mel from the William Morris Agency. Didn’t Emmanuel refuse Wesley Snipes a script because he said “Blacks don’t swim”? They don’t though, right?
4. Get Racially Profiled
Nothing says “we think [Insert 5-letter adjective here] don’t have nice things” “Negro” more than a routine traffic stop of a Black man in a nice semi-decent barely functioning car.
5. Enroll in Scared Straight Program
Well, I think that says all that needs to be said.
Being Mel Gibson is hard. As a blue-eyed white male, no one truly understands his struggle. The pressures of being an A list Hollywood actor, minimal financial woes (and by minimal I mean not having change for $10,000) how could we not see the world from his perspective? Shame on…everyone else who realized 1865 happened, the Civil Rights Movement occurred, and it’s f*ckin retarded to be racist, sexist and bigoted.
One thing is for sure.
Nobody was googling Mel Gibson like they were Taylor Lautner before this…
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Well Lookie Lookie…
This has been quite the convict week. What do Lindsay Lohan, OJ Simpson, & Glenn Beck have in common? Besides sucking?
They all IMMENSELY suck.
1. OJ getting married.
Never mind the fact that he has a spotty guilty past, This [Insert 5-letter adjective here] is about to get married again. This time to some chick psycho named Ana he never met. He saw a picture of her, and it reminded him of Nicole Brown.
How does an incarcerated OJ even know this woman?
They’re f*cking pen pals.
Aside from the fact that it’s no longer 1876, this is ludicrous. Wouldn’t necessarily call OJ the “marrying type.”
2. Lindsay Lohan and the Long Arm of the Law.
This girl is a cokewhore. She’s proven it to us time & time again.
Donning “fuck you” nails at her court trial yesterday, Lohan had the nerve to say her 90-day sentence for all the reckless sh*t she did was a “violation of human rights”.
Oscar Grant is a violation of human rights.
The thing is, she’ll probably end up only doing 3 weeks.
1st you have to be a human in order for your rights to be violated.
The self-proclaimed “Milkaholic” is set to do jail time, beginning July 20th. What other “-aholics” can you come up with for Lindsay?
I’ve got 3:
“Alch-”
“Adderol-”
“Skank-”
It’s gotten to the point where her lawyer Shawn Chapmann Holley quit. Perhaps she was tired of Lohan making her look like she can’t control her client? Black people don’t like to be embarrassed.
3. Glenn Beck U.
A guy takes one theology class at Yale & drops out, and he thinks he can start a university? Joining the ranks of ITT Tech, Apex, DeVry & Clown College, Beck is opening up a 9-part online course on his website. I refuse to post the link.
Perhaps one of the most non-embodying types of what the word university actually means, the hate-monger-er should be the last
(one of the last)
people things to get a school.
Then again…how different is this than tuning into Beck daily on Fox, or on the radio?
Oh. You pay $74.95 a year.
At least Sallie Mae won’t live in your ass.
At least, in light of the LeBron James soap Opera, Pat Riley =
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Condoms For Kids
Your eyes do not deceive you.
Imagine
Happy playing next to each other. In Elementary school.
A public school in Provincetown, MA is getting backlash somehow they didn’t forsee when they authorized giving out condoms to all of their students, even the ones who don’t yet grasp the concept of 2+2.
I was 6 in 1st grade.
At that point you really don’t even understand why you can’t do homework with crayons.
Were kids kissing in the closet then? Yes.
Were kids f*cking in the closet then? Hell no.
But it doesn’t end there. Provincetown School board Chairman Peter Grosso justified the act stuck up for what was probably his idea, saying : “There’s no set age when sexual activity starts.”
Guess who won’t be babysitting anyone else’s kids.
We already are well aware that there’s no set age when you “are supposed” to start having sex.
But, as technology would have it, kids are already sexting. What you don’t want need to do is have the “where do babies come from” conversation all over again, so close to the probable traumatization you’ve caused by not locking your bedroom door the other night with your baby.
At least they won’t just have the condoms next to the forks in the lunchroom– any student who goes to the nurse can receive them, only after “counseling”. Right.
Isn’t the nurse’s office where we used to go when we didn’t want to bullsh*t in class?
Like myself, I’m sending my hypothetical children to private school. At least there, they get to do what ever they want outside of the jurisdiction of most state laws no one will make a big stink about things like this. They’ll just send ‘em to sex ed class.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Cops Vs. Black People
Ok, maybe in this case, just a couple of Black teenage girls.
Surfacing on Wednesday, this video conjured up quite the stir:
Reactions to this video fell into 1 of 3 categories:
1. Outrage at the cop, side with the girls
2. Control the girls, side with the cop
3. This sh*t was funny.
I saw this on Wednesday. Looking at the video, I fell into category #1. But much to my surprise…many people who saw this fell into category #3.
Here’s how I look at it:
Category 1.
There are a couple of teenage girls, sequestered by this cop for having J-walked. The cop, clearly stronger more horizontal than both of the females (though, one in particular is sizable) feels the need to “discipline them”.
-He should have known better.
-He did not have to rip that girl’s shirt.
-For simply J-walking, the force was excessive.
-There is entirely too much animosity between these two groups for this to be happening. Again.
-Much like cocaine, Police discretion is a helluva drug.
Category 2.
However I can see the other side of the game.
-This cop is surrounded by Black kids who may or may not attack him solely based on the strained relationship between the two groups.
-People know how kids can be.
Let’s not act like teenagers are a walk in the park. Everyone winces when they get on the bus, or are in packs at any public venue that doesn’t include a school.
Category 3.
… Well, I don’t really see this video falling into the same realm as
But I guess many of you do. It just grates my nerves in the worst way when I see a man hit a woman, in any way shape or form.
More so, should those girls have even defended themselves against that policeman? Of course I had the inevitable “well, you know Black people ain’t supposed to argue with the po-lice” conversation. So when something’s obviously wrong illegal abuse of power, should the scenario go like this?:
But then again, the other side of that is…
Here are the general facts:
- A cop saw 4 young women J walking when he was talking to a man on the street.
-Officer stops the convo & asks the girls to step near his car.
-Officials said he was then met with not-so-kind words. (Probably a bunch of 4-word expletives, couple of “F-yous”, a few “sh*theads”, I’m sure)
-One of the girls ( a 19 year old) just began to walk away after a while. When she didn’t come back, against the officer’s wishes, he went over to her to bring her back to his vehicle. And that’s when the story begins.
Oh, and they’re calling this assault of a police officer.
Discuss.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
50 Cent, Don’t You Scare Us Like That Again
Rendering my Everyone Looks The Same To Me Vol. 22 “old”, new pics of 50 Cent have surfaced with him looking…nourished.
Take a gander:
He’s gained weight!
These were taken at 50′s show in Denver, CO earlier this week.
Funny, eh?
It was looking a little nervous for a second -and yes, we know it was for a movie role- glad to have you back.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Lil’ Freak
Just when you thought you’d heard the last from this absolute weirdo,
he resurfaces.
Eric Massa, the NY State politician who got caught with his hand up several of his assistant’s asses resigned earlier this year felt it appropriate to tell us why we should dislike him even more in the new issue of Esquire magazine.
- The congressman said he tried to kill himself, twice, prior to his resignation
- Massa’s beard wife wasn’t too pleased when people started comparing him to Mark Foley– the dude from FL. who was sending nasty texts to teenage boys who worked in the House. She must’ve known his secret was close to being up.
Boooy this sounds familiar, right Chris Stokes?
- A month prior to Massa’s allegations coming to light, he was threatening to tattle some secret plans Dick Cheney had, to get General Petraeus to run for President.
I wasn’t aware that bids for the 2010 Presidential election started in February, 2010.
- After drank himself stupid one night, he did the next logical thing: took an Ambien. Massa was so geeked up, he couldn’t get himself home. And at 4:00AM, in front of the Washington Monument, had to call a staffer to come babysit pick him up.
In light of all the “fun” this dude likes to have, this song is dedicated to Eric Massa:
Glad you resigned too, Massa. Glad you resigned too.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
MotherLover
Originally, I didn’t want to touch this.
My goodness this is too good to pass up.
There once was a young man named LeBron James, who had a mother named Gloria James.
There once was a young man named Delonte West, who had no steady girlfriend or wife.
Lebron played for the Cleveland Cavaliers,
Delonte, too was on the team.
The Cavs just lost to the Boston Celtics in the Eastern Conference semi-finals.
Rumor had it that the Cavs lost the series because the Celts were better because James was distraught over West f***ing his moms.
Wheeew this is a nasty one.
In true PR Lebron fashion, he diplomatically came out and said the hearsay was untrue.
Ok. That was the PC thing to do.
Enter NBA Hall-of Famer, Calvin Murphy.
He made those explosive claims Verified everything on ESPN Radio in Houston.
Fret not, King Queen King James,
there is a simple solution to this. I don’t know why he hasn’t thought of it yet:
Bron Bron needs some Home Improvement.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
