Category Archives: Plus One
BHM: Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Bob Marley
This is an offering I wrote for author extraordinaire Jeff Pearlman earlier this month. He featured it on his blog, read + comment here. On the last “Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesday” of Black History Month, I decided it was appropriate to revisit.
On a Flatbush block in Brooklyn, in a building that commands fresh hedges and pansies every Spring, I was 9 when my mother & I lived on the 5th floor. Weekend mornings announced themselves in the form of a Bob Marley baseline, The Wailers on the chorus. Sunbeams pierced the blinds and made their way through the makeshift living room greenhouse. In the Summer, these same beams shared roids with Clemens.
My mother hardly found these days as enchanting. Instead it was “the fat boy upstairs, his [Insert 5-letter expletive here] girlfriend, and their music again.” Pretty pansies, crappy soundproofing. It never bothered me so much, I almost looked forward to the selection he’d play. Maybe it’s different because an adult’s head can take less aggravation than that of a child’s.
Funny, that exchange of pulsating speakers and red broom scuff marks on the ceiling still remind me of weekend mornings with my mom. Bacon was always the co-star.
Marley would re-introduce himself in private school and college as tapestry on the walls of blonde boys. Eyebrows and hairlines met when they’d learned this (half) Jamaican did not smoke. Marley became the international symbol for Mari-joo-wana. Had this been the most significant memory of a man who introduced reggae, the pulse of a tiny sun-drenched isle to the entire world, and became it’s 1st international pop star? (Attention Snow, your thanks & apologies to the Marley family are in order) Had this been all they remembered of the revolutionary from St. Ann, JA, at a time where poverty & injustice were only to be seen & endured?
No.
Norman Manley.
Robert Nesta Marley.
My Father.
Clifton Officer is “one of those things unlike the other”, the improbable mention among these visionaries.
Currently the proudest Jamaican on Earth, I was made to believe the the Sun rose, set, and was created on the banks of Ocho Rios.
“Dem kall ‘im Robert Nesta Marley. Di won di baddest ting fi evar come from Jamaica. Nuh tru?”
One never dissents from such vigor.
“Jamaica ‘ave di best music, di best food, di most beautiful ‘oman … youh never did see anyting suh. Pass mi Red Stripe.”
I nod and smile, he is talking to 6-year old me.
Buried underneath worries of a cheerleader-less Super Bowl & Sarah Palin’s incompetence Reagan’s 100th speeches lies Black History Month, and a birthday that would have been Marley’s 66th. A section of Brooklyn’s Church Ave. (where it meets Nostrand and stretches to 98th st.) was re-named “Bob Marley Boulevard” in 2006. His music resounds here, and still remains relevant today:
- According to iTunes Reggae, he’s on top of the charts in 19 countries, including Germany, Australia, France, Spain, Greece, Iceland & Switzerland. (Yes, the U.S. is included.)
- Bob Marley & The Wailers’ Legend has sold 25 million worldwide, (13.5 in the U.S.) it’s. the biggest selling Reggae album in history.
- According to Billboard, this is the 962nd week Legend has charted, the 2nd longest ever. (Pink Flloyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon is #1 at 990.)
- Last year a CNN poll of Global icons noted Marley as one of the Top 5.
Certainly all of this is no match to his actual contributions, just accolades that accompany the terriotry. You would need Oprah’s OWN, MTV, BET, VH1Soul, TV1 & The History Channel for an entire week to showcase this man’s influence, but hopefully everyone can identify their own Marley memories that elicit smiles. Or Tye Dye.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
BHM: Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Anita Baker
Never in all my life have I heard a voice like this.
On a sunny Sunday, I was 3 when my mother handed me my very 1st cassette tape. Assembled by her coworker, the white label simply read “Anita Baker”.
Assuming my usual position, perched between the TV & radio, she popped it in.
I never looked back.
This was the perfect addition to “Sunday Morning Classics with Hal Jackson on W-B-L-S”. Or at least to their commercial breaks.
This is probably why I love to refer to Anita Baker as “The Woman of All Women”. When you look at her, you see nothing less than a lady. Her voice is strong but soothing– today she could compose a song proclaiming 4Loko tastes like Chardonnay…I’d be hauling a case of the for-some-reason-still-legal-and-sold-in-NYC-who’s-getting-arrested-for-this-crap back to my apartment for consumption.
Please overlook the fact that I’ve managed to mention drugs & Ms. Baker in the same sentence.
What’s written here could never compare to her impact on music & it’s quality. She is a legend. And she performed in Brooklyn:
It was nothing short of amazing.
8. The number of Grammy awards she’s amassed.
4. The number of platinum albums she has.
2. The number of times she’s gone gold.
Let’s not forget her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Time to drift off to a simpler time, listening to my favorite female singer.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Raheem DeVaughn
It pains me to even compose this post featuring this man’s name, because he hasn’t been around that long.
…Or has he?
He hasn’t.
2006 was 5 years ago.
2006 was 5 years ago.
Raheem’s first album (not mixtape) was released in 2005, but this song, ohhhh this song had been making it’s rounds on VH1 Soul for months. The funny thing is I refused to watch the video because I felt he resembled a bootleg Ludacris, and I was not to stand for it.
One summer ’06 afternoon in while perched atop my bed in West Village C, (Huskies Only)
the sun sparkled through my blinds
the pigeons danced on window sills of the projects across the street
and the remote
…was on my desk.
3 1/2 half feet out of arm’s reach. My TV would remain on 54. I was to remain a prisoner of Raheem’s for the next 3:48.
Oh God, I was immediately taken.
From this I learned 2 things:
1. Don’t judge someone by their looks.
-Unless they’re a Negro. Over 21. With braids. And not Raheem Devaughn.
Duly Noted.
2. The Indian-y girl’s mouth bothered me. Or maybe it was just her altogether.
Needless to say this man is an amazing talent and I support him whenever I can. With that said, the “Raheem DeVaughning” has begun…& I’m deeply ensconced in everything from “The Love Experience” to present.
So thank you, young Negro from the DMV. I love your music. And the nostalgia it brings.
Reunited & it feels so good.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
State of the Union Address = WTF
Or, “Winning The Future”.
For the everyman, this is a real-time account of President Obama’s State of the Union Address. This goes according to the ABC Sawyer/Stephonouourihsfsous airing. Just in case he “speaks too well, and is too well spoken.”
Everyone sat together. There were no partisan seats, just race mixing. For one night only, everyone was friends. Best Friends.
@9:00 This entrance is missing a robe & boxing gloves.
@9:15 ABC has got to get their graphics in front of the right people. That’s not a man.
@ 9:21 Does Joe Biden look like he just came back from partying? Is his tie not crooked?
@ 9:21″Don’t worry if China has more math people than anyone else and (naturally) the world’s fastest computer, we’re still #1. Those same kids come to our colleges. And Chinatown.”
@ 9:21 “We need to out educate everyone. Especially China.”
@ 9:22 What is Biden looking at? Who is he sending forehead wrinkle signals to?
@9:24 Could Rubio look more disinterested? Could he pretend he’s happy this is not in Spanish?
@ 9:26 Sen. Thune (North Dakota) looks like a piece of wood. In his defense, a tan piece of wood.
@ 9:28 
@BarackObama We will move forward together, or not at all—for the challenges we face are bigger than party and bigger than politics. #SOTU
@ 9:29 The winner of the science fair gets his ass kicked by the winner of the Superbowl. I’m afraid we can’t have both.
@9:34 Boehner is gonna blend in with the seat. Perhaps he thought if he tanned enough he could just close his eyes and get away with sleeping.
@9:36 This woman couldn’t wait to say “that’s me”
@9:37 These small businesses are gonna make a killing from all this free advertising
@9:38 “The fastest way to move information is by using Facebook.”
@9:38 “The Koreans, Russian & Chinese are outpacing us. Oh sh*t.”
@9:39 Ray LaHood does not look happy about that stab. He prob wishes he answered that text from Barack earlier.
@ 9:30 “You can video chat, but only if both you guys have Macs.”
@9:44 I’m sorry Biden, is there somewhere else you’d rather be?
@9:45 ” If you have an improvement or addition to the heath care plan, voice it & we’ll work on it right now. Otherwise, stfu.”
@9:53 Boehner was not happy about that “tax the millionaires” comment. He’ll demonstrate his fury by changing colors. Activate, brown leather seat skin:
@9:56 “I’m vetoing all bullsh*t.”
@9:58 Cut to the Black army woman, NOW!
@9:59 If they didn’t stand, they didn’t believe that.
@10:03 2 nappers in the last 2 minutes. One’s sitting next to McCain!
@10:04 Hah! McCain gave him up on Twitter! Udall!
@10:10 Biden fist pumped! I knew he’d come through
@10:10 Boehner wept because he swept the bar…then danced on it
@10:11 I’m surprised it took Boehner an hour to cry
@10:12 That’s Big sh*t poppin, & lil sh*t stoppin’
And give it up for Michelle, who looked stunning, as usual:
Many ciritics said his speech was “boring” & “tepid”. I didn’t get any of that. It just wasn’t a Prince concert. But maybe that’s what everything looks like coming down off of a cocaine-induced high.
A summation:
-Jobs? Check.
-Security? Check.
-Clean Air & Energy?
-Health Insurance? Check.
-Battling Chinese? Check.
All in all, I’d say this was a slam dunk for the Pres.
Wap.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
M.L.K. Day- ESPN Town Hall Meeting
M.L.K.
Here is a reposting of ESPN’s Town Hall Meeting- Image of The Black Athlete that aired on Friday night.
Filmed at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in ATL. If you’ve never been, go. No words can translate standing there.
During various [Insert Black College Extracurricular Group Here], we discussed this topic time & time again. “The current state of Black [Insert noun here].” More often than not, these meetings turned preach-y & accomplished less than intended. ESPN did a good job of not careening onto that rocky road.
Pt. 1
Pt. 2, Starring Marion Jones’ hair:
Pt. 3
I really wish they’d use more than John Legend’s version of Wake Up. Certainly there is more uplifting Black score to choose from.
Pt. 4
Spike Lee was a great addition to this panel. The fact that his eyebrows are always up adds to his effect.
Pt. 5
Pt. 6
Pt. 7
I love Jalen Rose. He’s turning into that uncle. I also like that he says “afletes”
Pt. 8- @ 2:30 Wilbon hit it right on the top of Gucci’s Ice Cream tattoo:
Pt. 9- -The stat @ 6:24 is horrifying.
@ 10:05 Wilbon, again, makes a great point
Pt. 10
Those education statistics were dismal. If they were, indeed, a lie, go forth young Blacks, get educations, and disprove them.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Ms. Officer Featured on JeffPearlman.com
‘s Blog!
If you missed this, you were one of 2 places:
1. Doing crack
2. Somewhere weeping with Wade Phillips
Jeff Pearlman is an amazing author, and if you don’t know who he is, I suggest you grab one of those real-life paper things with the funny black letters you didn’t type on it. He’s written a few.
Or you can Google him.
Anywho, I wrote a piece on who the next Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame inductee should be– and made my bid for Jigga Jigga, ya heard?
Who do you think belongs in the Rock-N-Roll Hall of Fame?
And yes, I’m well aware of the 25 year rule. And I chose to disrespect it.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Friday Delight: The Astronomical Kid- Stop Looking At My Moms
I ain’t hardly nobody’s mom. But how cute is this?
The Astronomical Kid, or Brian Bradley as he is known to his “moms” absolutely killed this ’80′s-ish beat…clearly born way more recently than that.
Thanks again to Dawnie & Turkey for this vid. The B35 is Those houses are definitely a trademark of East Flatbush. I love this kid’s message– it’s what all Black women everywhere want to say to thirsty a** dudes.
Besides, I smell a hit.
How is it possible that a little kid understands what most grown men don’t?
(More of the kid below)
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Jamaican Vacation
So I’m back from what feels like a 2 week hiatus.
Guess I owe you an explanation as to where I was.
I took a much needed vacation to my father’s native, Jamaica, W.I.
This trip also “happened” to fall on July 19th, my 2*th Birthday.
The trip lasted only 5 days, but I learned some very important things along the way.
I flew Jet Blue down to JA.
While boarding I realized we had a hot pilot. I fully understood the concept of the “Mile High Club”.
While approaching my seat (an aisle seat– I truly can’t take what might mean being stuffed between a walrus &…another walrus) someone was already parked in it. An older Caribbean woman with a mustache. I was polite in letting her know she was occupying the wrong space, and was met with this response:
“Just sit here” she grumbled, her mustache finger pointing to the middle seat. I gave her a look and retorted “No, I can’t sit there.” I was ready to drive this into an argument since she’d already (unnecessarily) given me attitude, but she complied.
Getting off the plane I noticed the hot pilot looking at me. I smile and say thank you. This moment was ruined by one thing– the woman in front of me wheeling one of those stupid f*cking rolling bookbags down the aisle entirely too slowly.
I tripped.
He caught me.
2 reactions came to mind: 1. I need to choke this woman. 2. I should have fallen. That way, I could’ve struck up a convo about how clumsy I was, blah, blah, blah, we would’ve joked, then he would of been sucked into my undeniable charm.
But none of that happened. We smiled again, I said thanks again, and with the woman out of the danger zone, I sashayed off the plane.
I stayed in 3 places:
-Goat Hill, St. Mary: Or “Goat ‘ill” as the natives say. My grandparents’ house. In the middle of the country nowhere. Goats chill with you, just like people would.
-The RIU Hotel & Resort, Ocho Rios. A beautiful 5-star, all-inclusive resort. There was no reason to drink anything else but alcohol. And if the 13 bars & restaurants weren’t enough to keep me occupied, there was a stocked mini bar & liquor attached to the wall on top of it. Amen.
-Kingston. A beautiful home on Manning’s Hill Road is where I completed this trip. For lack of dragging out this explanation, let’s just call them my Godparents.
It was relaxing. Yet even on vacation, you can learn so much. What did I learn this go ’round?
-Approx. 65% of Jamaican men are toothless
-Mosquitoes can smell American blood
-So can natives
-Little people with big accents are fun
-Airplane TV is apparently the only place where people will watch Sarah McClachlan. Not voluntarily, but because they have to. From the same hellraisers people that brought us Macy Gray, We get Sarah. For 1 hour because we are outside the Direct TV service zone. Wasn’t that f*ckin sad-ass cat commercial enough??
-It was. Jet Blue redeemed themselves by showing “Date Night” on the way back
-Not too sure about my father’s sentiments on the Japanese, but at least now he likes their food. (Though he’s not yet ready to graduate to Sushi)
-Ask me what he said about the dinner. I promise it translates much better in person
-Even when you think they are not watching, the hotel staff is eyeballing you
-With an 85-to-1 exchange rate, I can go to Jamaica & live like a queen off of $153
-Falling in front of a group of hot guys does not always result in embarrassment (yes, this is different from the plane slip)
-I love hotels. I love the way they smell. I love the way they make your clothes smell
-iPhones take pretty good pictures under duress
-Flush only when necessary
-The U.S. appears to be the only country with stringent statutory rape laws
-Don’t eat ox tail in the same place where they have slot machines
-On the way back, I had a bit of a snafu and boarded the plane last…like-they’re-calling-your-name-on-the-loudspeaker-like-someone’s-lost-kid-at-the-mall-last. I had a Ginger flight attendant. From the moment I boarded she it had it out for me
-Ginger kids suck in all aspects of life, especially those requiring service and accomodation
There are many more glimmers of insight to come. Just look at the pictures for now.
I know it’s long, but you asked.
<3
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Ms. Officer on Hot 102FM, Jamaica!
Join me as I broadcast weekly inside of Richie B’s Hot Mix every Thursday afternoon @ 4-5PM!!
http://www.jumptv.com/en/channel/hot102fm/
I give you the Entertainment Rundown, where I’m talking about all the hottest, latest (& stupidest) news & gossip of the week from the U.S.! You should not miss this.
It mad!
Big Ups!!! You never know where I’m gonna be next!!!
Every Thursday on Hot 102 FM, Jamaica! Listen Online from anywhere Worldwide!!!
Again:
http://www.jumptv.com/en/channel/hot102fm/
Yay!
Onward & Upward,
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Showdown ’08: PRESIDENT-ELECT, BARACK OBAMA
YESSSS WE DID!!!!!
Right now, I feel like this:
The way I feel about this I just can’t describe. I still cannot believe that our next President of the United States of America is Barack Obama. A Black Man.
& it only took them 44 tries.
It is about time for a positive change here in this country, and I am so proud that everyone (well, aside from the 150 ppl. that voted for McCan’t) had realized it as well.
Here is the eloquent speech that perfectly fit this Cinderella victory:
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
The beauty, the poise, the grace and the magnetism that is The Obama Family is almost royal, and I am sooooo glad to see that Sasha & Malia will get to run around the White House w/ their puppy!
Which can mean only one thing: that there are a new set of rules will apply as a result of this Historic and Monumental moment:
1. November is now Black History month, Starting with November 5th as Barack Obama Day. Cuz even though he was elected yesterday, we still can’t believe that sh*t today. Time to party like its 1865.
2. Barack Obama is now a verb; i.e. ‘You got Baracked’ (meaning embarrassed or humiliated), ‘Barack the Vote’ (meaning to rock), To Be Obama- To exude class, elegance & style. Yep, he did it.
3. All babies born on Nov. 4th should be named Barack Obama, regardless of sex.
Example: 
&
Do you know that any baby born from this point on does not know a world without a Black President? Bananas.
5. It is a name I’d actually change my last name to.
6. His presidency does not cancel out racism or affirmative action.
You cannot cross multiply here. Don’t even try it.
7. Barack Obama shattered the competition and humiliated John McCan’t in a variety of ways. Not only did he win this election 364-173, that comes down to an electoral college vote of 2 to 1. You must now school your opponent, so that he does this:
8.
You are now allowed to say this to anyone who questions your choice
But did you ever think this would happen? The way he united everyone, regardless of race, color or creed.
He is absolutely amazing.
President-elect Barack Obama smiles as he gives his acceptance …
