Category Archives: New Video Actually Worth Watching
New Vid: Robin Thicke- Love After War x Pretty Lil’ Heart Feat. Lil’ Wayne
Finally Thicke has returned w/ a new album. AND WHEN I GET IT HOME #SEEWHATIDIDTHERE
@ :01 Ooh big letters, tres Euro
@ :03 WOW I WAS RIGHT
@ :33 Scat.
@ :43 Love these two.
@ :56 Good grief Paula Patton is beautiful. Even in that wig. BUT IT WON’T LOOK THE SAME ON YOU NYC BIRDS. #BETTERNOTDOIT
@ 1:11 This is loveable
@ 1:16 I actually just finished doing that
@ 1:32 I sniff curtains too, Paula BUT I AM NOT ASHAMED
@ 2:07 Don’t believe we’ve ever seen a topless Robin Thicke. Admittedly, a little bird-chestier than expected.
@ 3:18 I like where this is going
@ 3:42 Just beautiful.
@ 3:51 Wait for it…
@ 4:15 Oh. thought something else was going to happen.
Amazing song, great vid. There’s a freshness to it that’s very much lacking in today’s music. [Insert young whipper snapper reference here].
But that is not all, world. I am also imprinting upon you Robin’s 2nd single, Pretty Lil’ Heart Featuring Lil’ Teeny Weezy F. Baby.
Download Robin Thicke- Pretty Lil’ Heart Feat. Lil Wayne here
Robin has a marvelous voice. Yet I wasn’t completely sold on him until Sex Therapy. It got to the point whee I needed to be weaned off of that album because I would not (could not?) leave it alone. Something tells me Love After War will have the same effect.
Easy Bart. Love After War is out December 6th.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Like this:
New Vid: The Beyonce Feat. Kanye West & J. Cole- Party
You will never escape The Beyonce. Sit down & succumb. That said, she just earned herself her own category on this site. (See tags).
Good grief, This Song GOES.
Easily the type of song where you shuffle drunk side to side & yell the hook as loud as your (top shelf) liquor tinged lungs will allow.
@ :03 Solange?
@ :05 This could get dangerous. OR SEXY
@ :06 #ZESTTEST Jail workout, or BFF workout?
@ :09 THE BEYONCE IN A (JERSEY) TRAILOR PARK IS HARD TO BELIEVE #YOUNEEDMOREPEOPLE
@ :18 Re Introducing The Beyonce’s side boob
@ :20 Hay you! A Ginger lurks behind you! LOOKOUT
@ :24 She really seizes any opportunity to dress like her name used to sounds. WHO ARE YOU REALLY
@ :26 Glad I didn’t actually see her pick that up from the ground.
@ :34 Ok we’ve seen this before
@ :44 Ashanti?
@ :51 There’s The Other sibling
@ 1:02 I can appreciate “The Bogle” when it reveals itself
@ 1:17 Ok, so, THE BLONDE GUY
@ 1:23 AND THE ALBINO
@ 1:25 You, sir, ARE ABOUT TO BODYROLL
@ 1:44 That’s cool, I wear fur in the pool too.
@ 1:45 I am a STAUNCH ADVOCATE
@ 1:53 How many bathingsuits can one wear in under 4 minutes?
@ 1:59 ALMOST THERE
@ 2:11 Big man, tiny car
@ 2:16 Ok, so, you can tell he wasn’t there at the same time. THIS DIGITAL LAYERING IS DANGEROUS
@ 2:40 Who doesn’t love a good feather fight?
@ 2:54 And silly string?
@ 3:03 As gorgeous as The Beyonce is, I’ve always thought Kelly was prettier. [DO NOT INSERT LIGHT SKINNED/DARK SKINNED ANYTHING HERE]
@ 3:06 WE GET IT, THE BEYONCE. YOU’RE TEAM NIP SLIP
@ 3:38 How cute
This was fun. Felt like I was at a 3 minute party. MINUS ANDRE 3000. Why couldn’t his & J.Cole’s verse co-exist in the vid? #GIVEDRESHINE
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: The Beyonce- Countdown
She’s pregnant. She’s dancing. And most importantly,
She. Ain’t. You.
@ :01 I don’t expect this to be any different from any other
- The Beyonce Video
-Destiny’s Chile Video
-Any video featuring The Beyonce
In that it is all about her, all the time. LEST YOU FORGET
@ :06 “Oh Hai, welcome to American Apparel. What was that? Were you looking for the women’s black turtleneck? Extra Small? I’m sorry, LIL’ WAYNE BOUGHT THEM ALL“
@ :20 New from Radio Shack, The Beyonce Clock.
@ :25 Soooooo, no one else thinks she’s @ least a tad bit insane
@ :45
@ 1:22 Certain this little pink act will spawn numerous youtube parodies of large women in these tiny button ups.
@ 1:49 Drumline
@ 1:55 Not that this makes a difference in the grand scheme of, like, the world, -BUT- right side, purple shirt, Thai wig. Man, Woman, or Strong Features?
Cast your vote.
@ 2:05 Must. Buy. Lavender. Shoes. Before. Men. Buy. All. Our. Sizes.
@ 2:19 “Dutty Wine” revival
@ 2:32 Alleged plagarizm.
@ 2:33 Me. and my Jay. And My Jay-Z riding. All up in that Jay-Z with me right beside Jay-Z
@3:06 The Beyonce gives a nod to The Diana (Rawse)
@ 3:26 Don’t recall The Beyonce’s boobs EVER being that big. Note to self: GET PREGNANT
@ 3:31 And just in case you forgot how beautiful The Beyonce was in the last nanosecond, a not-so-subtle reminder.
Don’t hate it, Don’t love it. Although, I’m certain I’ll have a more difinitve outlook on this after the video has been drilled into my head via MTV, overly aggressive advertisements, and radio spins. Naturally.
Plagarism, Smlagarism.
If The Beyonce doesn’t do it before after you, IT DOES NOT EXIST.
New Edition will find this out shortly, seeing as how the preview to “Love on Top” IS ALREADY OUT.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: The Beyonce- 1+1
Don’t you ever forget. It is all about The Beyonce. And she’ll remind you every time.
@ :24 She’s wet. Still looks great. Who else’s fake hair can do that?
@ :31
@ :37 Me neither. Failed math. In college.
@ :46 Don’t get carried away here guys (& some gals). The Beyonce’s wearing some sort of tank top.
@1:02 Is it sheer? LET IT HANG
@ 1:07 Did Jay-Z approve this? It’s to be expected of Rihanna, but HE’S GOT GOONS
@ 1:27 
@ 1:41 This, ladies & gentlemen, is The Beyonce Experience.
@ 1:44 “REALIZE HOW MAJESTIC I AM.”
@1:47 “I’LL STAY QUIET WHILE YOU DO SO”
@ 2:07 2 virtual The Beyonces are better than 1 Solange.
@ 2:29 Any excuse to use this is worth taking
Relax, I know she’s not being that extreme.
@ 2:41 Ok, just so we’re clear, not Jigga’s arms.
@ 3:05 I don’t feel like I need a boob job now?
@ 3:12 “If, by now, you’re somehow unaware of how hot I am, allow me to demonstrate by dragging this ice all over me.”
@3:38 Smoking
@ 3:42 Bondage
@ 3:46 Bathtub
@ 3:57 Heat
@ 4:02 Cool
This is shaping up to be a wild night in the life of The Beyonce.
Like every other Destiny’s Child vid of her, there’s nothing else to focus on. The song will have to grow on me, mainstream media will make sure it does.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Jay-Z & Kanye West- Otis
Thus began day 7 of The Internets dying all over Watch The Throne. With the promise of the “Otis” video premiere.
@:06 Careful with that torch. Near the car and all.
@ :23 Much like dentists the tooth fairy, I do not believe in Kanye West welding.
@ :27 Is that a broach?
@ :35 A little bit of hopscotch to begin the vid
@ 1:03 Fronts? Like circa 2000?
@ 1:36 Nice blouse Kanye
@ 1:59 Riding in Maybach with no doors, BUT SEAT BELT SAFETY STILL PREVAILS
@ 2:07 Heheh
@2:26 Have we ever seen Jay-Z so affectionate?
@ 2:34 Aziz Ansari has just realized he came over dressed.
@ 2:36 Also, he can’t dance.
@ 3:10 Consciousness.
Not even The Beyonce herself can make Mr. Carter as happy as Kanye West can.
<3 BFFs 4 Ever
Sick song, sick vid.
As long as this doesn’t go the way of Best of Both Worlds.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Heat Lose Bulls Game, Win The Crying Game
Just to clarify– They only specified no crying in baseball.
Says Erik Spoelstra of his team after last night’s loss vs. Chi:
and after a misspelled Dwyane Wade basically fessed up later on in that interview…
I WONDER WHO’S LEFT
This was Bosh mere days ago after the loss vs. Orlando, when they blew a 24 point lead in the 2nd half. That sucks. Especially since they can’t pull it together against their main competitors in the East- Boston, Chicago, & Orlando. Somehow, they remain #3 in the region’s standings.
But this Bulls loss came as the result of a(nother) last second failed buzzer beater by Wade– The Heat are 1-7 when down by 3 points or less in these situations.
If this “team” wants to not get knocked out of round 1 of the playoffs by a possible #6 seed (i.e. Knicks), they’re going to have to:
1. figure out who the leader is
2. pass him the rock in clutch situations
3. get a coach they’ll listen to
4. not cry about losing games on or off camera
Spoelstra was probably just trying to show how much passion his players have, but it backfired– revealing the supply of rattles & Gerber available to them post game.
Whatever, this is funny.
Just to show they’re not alone, I’ve assembled a special edition Miami Heat playlist:
Ja Rule- I Cry
Most anything by Ja Rule would suffice. But definitely this.
Obie Trice- Cry Now
Pretty much nailed it @ :15.
Mary J. Blige- Not Gon’ Cry
…Or they could take the opposite approach…and Exhale.
Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River
So obvious. So Poingnant.
Bob Marley- No Woman No Cry
No Chris Bosh, No Cry.
After all that fanfare,
And sh*t they were talking, these guys should be able to step up and pull it together. They need time to gel, but…
They look as out of control as
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Dr. Dre Feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey- I Need A Doctor
Here it is. If you have circa 8 minutes.
@:01 Do you remember what you were doing on February 18th 2001?
@ :05 Beautiful.
@ :14 He looks mad
@ :34 Oh snap.
@ :41
“Straight outta Lo-Cash! A Crazy Motha*cka Named Gusto! I ****ed ya wife ‘cuz the ****h is a big hoe! I ****ed your mother, I ****ed your cat!”
@ 1:06 There’s a pit forming in my stomach.
@1:10 Product placement #1 here
@ 1:50 Oh crap this is not good for my nerves
@ 2:35 So…Eminiem’s just not going to age, huh?
@ 2:58 This feels like the Kanye West moving painting video
@3: 38 Preach.
@ 4:21 “Drop product placement #2 here”
@ 4:29 She doesn’t look how she sounds. I was more or less expecting her to look like this:
…all of them.
@ 4:34 What’s Dre’s obsession with this? #WaltDisneyTreatment
@5:38 So… Dre’s not gonna let the Stewie Griffin go, huh?
@ 5:53 “Enter product placement #3 here”
@ 6:08 Activate. Shape of…Melle Mel
@ 6:31 Pectorals of….Powdered Toast Man
@7:32 Whoa.
Glad Dr. Dre is back.
Even if he is extraordinarily enormous.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Top 5 Songs of The Week, 2/7
Here we are again, wiping the
Black
Green
Lil’ Wayne
Who the f*ck cares & Yellow Superbowl residue off our brows.
Hopefully this means the (albeit slow) death of that song.
In the meanwhile, allow me to present a much needed reprieve from all of that crap.
Music Submissions: MsOfficerBlog@gmail.com
5. Usher Feat. Kam Parker- Monster (DL)
Usher often imagines himself as some sort of monster.
Yesterday his fantasy came true, in the form of a guest of dismal Superbowl XLV performers & government conspiracy + a Filipino, The Black Eyed Peas.
Way too much is going on in this track– Kenny G, the Carribean, & electricity, but this might be why I like it.
(Check the guy who couldn’t wait to get that look @ Usher’s crotch).
4. Nick Carter- Falling Down (DL)
As unlikely a candidate for a spot on this countdown as anyone. 1/17 of the Wackstreet Boys has an album out called “Taking Off”. What bothers me most is this comes in over Usher. Calling all monkeys: Please send your music submissions to MsOfficerBlog@gmail.com.
Hard as it is to imagine Ne-Yo in a straight strip club, I can imagine this being utilized there.
2. DMX- A Change Is Gonna Come (Prod. By Swizz Beats) (DL)
DMX has been the subject of much good-natured ribbing on this site.
But this is the X that we like to see.
The Sam Cooke sample does Earl Simmons good.
If it takes Swizz Beaks to bring it out of him…so be it.
1. Eminem Feat. Jazmine Sullvan- Cocaine (DL)
Em is just ridiculous. He really is. Usually Sullivan bores me, but not here. I’d actually decided I like her better on other people’s hooks than to listen to her on her own. Hmph.
*Bonus*
Kelly Rowland- Just Whisper (DL)
King Ralio Feat. Erica Singer- Ride (Instrumental w/ Hook) (DL)
Erica is just a darling. Even though it is just an instrumental, it’s not because she’s on the…you guessed it, hook. A little Rihanna-esque, Ms. Singer sounds so good. So do your own song!
P.S. Those new T-Pain songs (w/ & w/out Chris Brown) are terrible. So you won’t find them here.
I’ve missed you.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
State of the Union Address = WTF
Or, “Winning The Future”.
For the everyman, this is a real-time account of President Obama’s State of the Union Address. This goes according to the ABC Sawyer/Stephonouourihsfsous airing. Just in case he “speaks too well, and is too well spoken.”
Everyone sat together. There were no partisan seats, just race mixing. For one night only, everyone was friends. Best Friends.
@9:00 This entrance is missing a robe & boxing gloves.
@9:15 ABC has got to get their graphics in front of the right people. That’s not a man.
@ 9:21 Does Joe Biden look like he just came back from partying? Is his tie not crooked?
@ 9:21″Don’t worry if China has more math people than anyone else and (naturally) the world’s fastest computer, we’re still #1. Those same kids come to our colleges. And Chinatown.”
@ 9:21 “We need to out educate everyone. Especially China.”
@ 9:22 What is Biden looking at? Who is he sending forehead wrinkle signals to?
@9:24 Could Rubio look more disinterested? Could he pretend he’s happy this is not in Spanish?
@ 9:26 Sen. Thune (North Dakota) looks like a piece of wood. In his defense, a tan piece of wood.
@ 9:28 
@BarackObama We will move forward together, or not at all—for the challenges we face are bigger than party and bigger than politics. #SOTU
@ 9:29 The winner of the science fair gets his ass kicked by the winner of the Superbowl. I’m afraid we can’t have both.
@9:34 Boehner is gonna blend in with the seat. Perhaps he thought if he tanned enough he could just close his eyes and get away with sleeping.
@9:36 This woman couldn’t wait to say “that’s me”
@9:37 These small businesses are gonna make a killing from all this free advertising
@9:38 “The fastest way to move information is by using Facebook.”
@9:38 “The Koreans, Russian & Chinese are outpacing us. Oh sh*t.”
@9:39 Ray LaHood does not look happy about that stab. He prob wishes he answered that text from Barack earlier.
@ 9:30 “You can video chat, but only if both you guys have Macs.”
@9:44 I’m sorry Biden, is there somewhere else you’d rather be?
@9:45 ” If you have an improvement or addition to the heath care plan, voice it & we’ll work on it right now. Otherwise, stfu.”
@9:53 Boehner was not happy about that “tax the millionaires” comment. He’ll demonstrate his fury by changing colors. Activate, brown leather seat skin:
@9:56 “I’m vetoing all bullsh*t.”
@9:58 Cut to the Black army woman, NOW!
@9:59 If they didn’t stand, they didn’t believe that.
@10:03 2 nappers in the last 2 minutes. One’s sitting next to McCain!
@10:04 Hah! McCain gave him up on Twitter! Udall!
@10:10 Biden fist pumped! I knew he’d come through
@10:10 Boehner wept because he swept the bar…then danced on it
@10:11 I’m surprised it took Boehner an hour to cry
@10:12 That’s Big sh*t poppin, & lil sh*t stoppin’
And give it up for Michelle, who looked stunning, as usual:
Many ciritics said his speech was “boring” & “tepid”. I didn’t get any of that. It just wasn’t a Prince concert. But maybe that’s what everything looks like coming down off of a cocaine-induced high.
A summation:
-Jobs? Check.
-Security? Check.
-Clean Air & Energy?
-Health Insurance? Check.
-Battling Chinese? Check.
All in all, I’d say this was a slam dunk for the Pres.
Wap.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Michael Jackson- Rock With You (Acapella)
We all know how I feel about Michael Jackson. And covers.
With that said, I hate Akon.
However, this vid emerged, reflective of an MTA subway ride. And I couldn’t be happier.
This assortment is called Duwende, which means something African “Phillipino mythical creature”, otherwise known as
It’s now safe to say this guy is not Chinese, but rather some sort of Chinese-y Latino-y mix.
There’s only one word for this:
Awesome.
Because:
-It’s not sh*tty
-There’s no autotune
-They can actually sing
Kudos to the cast of Doug.
If you want more on Duwende, it can be found here.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Nicki Minaj- Right Thru Me
Everyone knows Nicki Minaj is 1/2 of my girl crush (The other being Blake Lively).
@ :03- 5:13 Who the F*** is that
During this video, I heard nothing. And if my memory serves me correctly, Nicki wasn’t even in it.
Willy Monfret is the hypnotizing half Negro in this vid.
I think I just got pregnant.
Too bad he has a sh*tty French accent. It’s really annoying to listen to.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Operation Get Paterson Out Of Here: The Rent Is Too Damn High Party
There’s a Gubernatorial race going on in New York.
A simple vie for a political seat has turned into a night at Mandalay Bay.
But now, it’s no longer a sh*tty catfight, thanks to this guy:
He is Jimmy McMillan. Part ‘Nam war vet, Part insanity. 100% awesome.
He also bears a striking resemblance to America’s favorite vet,
I thought Cuomo had my vote all sewn up. Now, my friends, we’ve got ourselves a race.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Friday Delight: The Astronomical Kid- Stop Looking At My Moms
I ain’t hardly nobody’s mom. But how cute is this?
The Astronomical Kid, or Brian Bradley as he is known to his “moms” absolutely killed this ’80′s-ish beat…clearly born way more recently than that.
Thanks again to Dawnie & Turkey for this vid. The B35 is Those houses are definitely a trademark of East Flatbush. I love this kid’s message– it’s what all Black women everywhere want to say to thirsty a** dudes.
Besides, I smell a hit.
How is it possible that a little kid understands what most grown men don’t?
(More of the kid below)
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Jon B.- Body Language
Funny enough, I heard this song earlier today for the 1st time on my own reconnaissance.
And just happened upon the video:
@ :10 This is obviously not part of the video. Don’t need it.
@ :22 Is he drunk?
@ :27 “This is the flyest sh*t I’ve ever been a part of”
@ :37 I don’t like it when people do “cat things”
@ 1:06 Is this not in HD?
@ 1:21 He’s obviously into doing that Bobby-Brown-I-Talk-Out-Of-The-Side-Of-My-Mouth thingy
@ 1:30 That’s pretty hot. I want to do that.
@ 1:42 I’d get the piano
@ 1:55 That’s quite the scarf
@ 2:04 Very Prince-ish
@ 2:37 Every White man (no matter how Black or Puerto Rican-y) owns a “Newsies” hat.
@ 2:40 I want to be played like that.
@2:44 Him being outside during the day has everything and nothing to do with the rest of this video.
@ 3:05 Cannonball!
@ 3:18 Don’t get too busy spinning around, there’s a moving ass right by your face– oh– you caught it
@ 3:25 She’s fat
@ 3:35 There’s a lot of sh*t floating around in that pool. But I’d try that.
@ 3:59 He’s not afraid to like what he likes. I like that.
Overall, this is a cool vid. A little different than the usual, the instruments add a nice touch. What’s with the Asian Chicks? I ran into Jon B. earlier in the summer at another group’s album release. Love Jon B.’s music.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
The Social Network Was F*cking Good
Tonight, my roommate Turkey and I just finished watching “The Social Network”.
Like average citizens, we waited until opening weekend.
Like average citizens, we bought our tickets and overpriced death accelerators movie snacks.
Like average citizens, I watched a toothless woman shuffle out of the stall I was waiting on tell me there was no more toilet paper we waited on line to use the bathroom after the film was done.
I can’t do it.
-At least-
The Social Network was f*cking good.
Admittedly, this theater visit was fulled by my love for Justin Timberlake. I returned with much more.
This is the story of the “Mark Zuckerberg Production”, in college at the same time I was. The world’s youngest Billionaire and his closest friend invent a pop culture phenomenon the internet’s coolest stalking device. It attracts the attention of Sean Parker -co-conspirator of Shawn Fanning- the brains behind Napster who went to Northeastern (my f*ckin school) a decade earlier.
Even though I didn’t feel like punching someone in the mouth because I sat still for two hours, the thoughts that had been lurking in my subconscious darted to the forefront.
What the f*ck am I doing?
There I sat.
The wee months of 2004.
Nicole Vazquez‘s Harvard dorm room.
Her 7,000th time hammering me to “Get on Facebook” (then, only open to Boston-area college students and not any f*cking weirdo with an internet connection, a mirror, & a cameraphone) After refusing so much,
on try 7,001 I signed up, and never looked back.
There were no outlandish differences between Mark Zuckerberg and myself. Save his computer programming skills, my mind (minus the 1600 SAT score) works similarly.
It has only been a couple of years since I left college, yet the angst of graduating into an unstable economy still haunts me. For the longest time, I thought I was crystal clear on the career path I’d chosen, having found a love for it while at Northeastern.
Just about all of my work experience has been in this one field and, as you can imagine, going from wanting to do something so bad, then not wanting to do it at all is sh*tty harrowing. It also f*cks with your head. What I do now is not my career. What I have to say about my job is not important. Though I feel I certainly should be farther along in it.
I’m agitated by the rat race of the MTA, the disgusting guys who hang out on corners and ask if I “put lip gloss on them sh*s”, and not being able to find a decent vegetable in a Black neighborhood that hasn’t been soaked in Mazola.
I can’t do it.
I once had dreams of going to law school. This was recently echoed in a conversation with an obnoxious friend by the name of Shane Dayqwanna Lloyd.
He’s in grad school at Brown, learning about lobotomies & how to perform them with chopsticks.
Shane: “Well didn’t you wanna go back to school? All of your friends are back in higher education. Why aren’t you??”
Me: “This is something I need to be sure of before I dig myself deeper into the sh*tter with Sallie Mae. And 3 more years.”
Shane: “Well, you’re not getting any younger. And you’re kinda smart. It’s time for you to move up to the Ivy leagues.”
Me: “Ass*ole.”
Of course I can’t immediately think of anything I’d like to do, but I know what I don’t want to be:
-This
-Manure scooper
-Prostitute
-Problem Drinker
-African American Haberdasher
-Police Officer
-Accountant
-Anything having anything to do with math, counting, sequences, or even saying numbers
-Anything involving Pee-Wee Herman. Or Fantasia.
Zuckerberg’s character noted he “couldn’t” go back to Caribbean night at Alpha Epsilon Pi.
I can’t do it either.
I have the passion. I have the talent. I have the intelligence. And I want to invent some widely successful & popular sh*t.
There’s something greater I’ve got to get.
As quoted from my (very Jamaican) father to me in our conversation last week:
“Where do I go from here?”
Love,
*Ms. Officer
