Category Archives: MTV Jersey Shore
See & Be Seen: Carmelo Anthony M8 Sneaker Release x Perez Hilton’s “One Night Only”
‘Twas a busy night on Thursday, with both Carmelo Anthony’s sneaker release and Open Sky Presents Perez Hilton’s annual “One Night Only”.
Both started at 7:30.
Both were worth going to.
One was on a pier, one was in a ballroom. It’s October in NYC.
But which one to choose
#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS
For the Melo event, hype surrounded a special guest performance by “one of New York’s Hip Hop legends”. Citing relevance & current singles There were only 2 choices
Speculation surrounded the only two choices– Nas or Jay-Z.
When not barnstorming, Carmelo can be seen enjoying Nas.
[ Aside: Nation, if you have never been to a Nas show, I suggest you go. He is the best performance I've seen. He gives one hell of a show when he's getting paid $80,000 or better.]
Naturally beginning late, I wondered if I was going to miss the promise of Boyz II Men, Mary J. Blige & of course, Pauly D. The Carmelo event kept us entertained with its ostentasiousness– A HOLOGRAM OF A SNEAKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HUDSON
Behold.
AND CONTINUE TO BEHOLD IT.
When the show actually started, Nas literally performed three songs and left. Nonetheless, ’twas a good 15 minutes.
By the time I arrived at the Perez Hilton event, I’d missed most of the performances, but still got a consolation prize– a Nalgene from Perez’s “BritaFilterForGoodMusic” Project.
A taste of the festivities:
Oh those? The new “Soul” by Ludacris headphones. SOMEONE SEND ME A PAIR.
That is Darryl Strawberry.
This is the 25th anniversary of the Mets’ Championship season.
No matter how you split it, a great show of talent was at both shows. And so were great displays of (top shelf) liquor.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Chris Brown- Beautiful People
Excatly 1 day after ABC Good Morning AmericaGate & his F.A.M.E. album release, and his appearance table dancing on Tosh.0
comes C-Breezy’s newest video for his single “Beautiful People.” I told you way back when this was going to be a hit.
@ :05 “Come on, Let’s ride our scooters like it’s 2007!”
@ :08 “Also, I like your leopard-print man threads. You dressed yourself?”
@ :37 He’s hot.
@ :41-:44 That’s exactly what I see when I listen to this song repeatedly.
@ :59 The Game face- tattoo beautiful
@ 1:01 Bow-Wow sexuality- questionable beautiful
@ 1:12 Chubby-ish guy on the drums beautiful
@ 1:15 Tyga alarmingly-skinny- beautiful
@ 1:16 Estelle Not-really0sure-how-much-I-like-her-songs beautiful
@1 :22 T-Pain is especially beautiful with his bangs sticking out
@ 1:25 When will T-Pain realize he can’t dance like people who can really dance?
@ 1:30 Well, Nelly really is beautiful
@ 1:33 That James Harden-esque beard is just obnoxious.
@ 1:48 “I wore this, I’m gonna get the most out of it.”
@ 1:57 Dallas Austin is questionable-past beautiful
@ 1:59 Diddy is beautiful
@ 2:01 Omarion is still alive beautiful
@ 2:10 Brandy is beautiful
@ 2:13 Pharell is kind-of-Asian-y-but-Black- beautiful
@ 2:22 If he starts bodyrolling, it’s over.
@ 2:25 T-Pain stop it, you can’t do that.
@ 2:44 Either Nazis…or mass fist pumpers
@ 2:49 Let the beat build.
@ 2:55 Timbaland ridiculous- beat- maker- beautiful
So basically this was a message from Chris saying, “Look at me and all my celebrity friends, they all think this song is amazing. And I’m filiming them dance to it.”
Good grief do I love this f*ckin song.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 38: Wiz Khalifa Feat. Vinny from Jersey Shore- Black & Guido
This exists.
@ :01 Black & Guido by Vinny LadyGagagadino
@ :06 I’d like to solve the puzzle Pat? Freshly Waxed, Abrasive Eyebrows!
@ :17 If I turn this hat around, I’ll look like Jay-Z in the “New York Video”. And my hat is Black too.
@ :28 Step 1: Meet Black Girl. Step 2: Complement butt. Step 3: Tell her inevitable bird friends “stop hay-in”. Then all Black guys will like that.
@ :38 They’re going crazy cuz I’m White & She’s Black. It’s like it’s never been done before. Legally. Like pre- 1967.
@ :39 See? Color doesn’t matter. Because Vinny said so.
@ :45 If an actual Negro comes by, his Black approval will be sealed.
@ :53 Funny, I introduce myself to every White male I meet by saying “Aye, don’t u see my skin’s brown?”. Comes right before my name.
@ :54 That’s usually the response.
@ 1:14 So if Ciara & Kerry Wash (ington) are watching, Vinny likes you. Check yes, no, or maybe.
@ 1:34 Eb-on-y & I-vo-ry go together in perfect har-mo-ny
@ 1:40 Bouncing around with even more guys definitely helps his case.
@ 1:41 Glad everyone remembered the uniform. “Wear something Black, but your hat has to be black.”
@ 1:51 There are a lot of halfie Black & Guido heroes. Denzel, for one, Al Pacino, for another. He’s right. They made a great couple.
@ 2:01 Pirouettes always drive points home.
@ 2:14 Yay! More men for the now equally raced frank & bean party!
@ 2:16 These hats are really doing the trick. I see this is the effect they were going for.
@ 2:53 Uh-oh the fat one didn’t get the memo
@ 3:16 It’s like an all-male mostly Italian rainbow
@ 3:28 The dog = representation of Buido love. (Please give me credit once you outsource this word)
@ 3:42 I half expect this guy in the right hand corner to blow a kiss.
And now I know what “Chillin’ wit my boyz” means.
The Jon B. Effect just doesn’t apply here. See Chapter 1: Robin Thicke’s Father Was The Father On Growing Pains for further reference.
The question still remains:
Joizee Shore
Feels like I’m going through withdrawl from a show I should deplore because society tells me so, based on, well, I dunno. I actually cringe for respectable Italians who now have to scramble to defend themselves at the hand of this deplorable telecast. But in the 2nd week since it’s last new episode, I am strung out.
For more Jersey Shore.
If there was ever a moment to be prouder you’re not from New Jersey (or, the armpit of America), it’s now.
If there was ever a moment to be glad you’re not a Guido. Or, rather, Guidette (I repeat- Guido, NOT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR ITALIAN), it’s now.
If there was ever a moment you needed to indulge in a guilty pleasure, it’s now.
Already, I can compose a highlight reel:
Why not?
I’m even gonna go out on a limb here & say that Pauly D is kinda cute. It’s not even his hair obsession that bothers me half as much as his eyebrows.
& Then…
Gee Whiz. I DO NOT CONDONE any type of behavior like that gym teacher who punched Snookie out, at all. But what I will say is that I’m glad all the other guys from the house had her back & just jumped on him without question.
& Did anyone notice how MTV said they weren’t gonna air the punch from the episode, but made sure they aired it as much as they could in upcoming previews & commercials so it could be eternalized on the internets?
Ok, I thought I was the only one.
Well, apparently there was a new episode this week (New Years Day) & I wasn’t perched in front of the TV to watch. Somehow I didn’t catch MTV’s 47th encore showing this week, so I gotta wait ’til round 48. I guess I got nothin’ but the fist pump and my own juiced muscles in the meantime.
::Sigh:: Make that week 3 of Joizee Shore withdrawl.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
