Category Archives: Know The Rules
Hotel Rooms– Always a Bad Idea
1st, they said Al Gore raped groped someone in a hotel room.
Then they said Al Gore didn’t bother anybody in a hotel room.
Now they say A l Gore did harass someone in a hotel room.
Well, which one is it??
The city of Portland is reopening a case stemming from 2006 where the former Vice President allegedly groped a woman, in a hotel room. Portland police previously closed the case because they claimed there was no evidence.
What the authorities are not saying is why they’ve reopened it.
You mean to tell me
Was a farce? Perhaps this was even a cover up so he wouldn’t get caught rubbing up on some girls skanks females in the middle of nowhere Oregon?
Shocking.
Or is it?
Like Big Brother cookies tracking your every move on the internet, we can learn from our history.
Enter the ghost of hotel rooms past.
Al Gore should have learned from his predecessors not to do sneaky sh*t in places you have to pay to sleep in.
-Marion Barry
In 1990, the former Mayor of D.C. got arrested caught up for doing crack in a hotel room with his then girlfriend coke whore Hazel “Rasheeda” Moore.
Step 1: Never trust a heifer who has a respectable 1st name, but chooses to go by a less attractive hoodrat pseudonym.
Step 2: From what The Wire told us, D.C. was hell f*cked all-the-way up. Damn. Did Barry have to go down like that, though?
Damage? A 6-month prison stint in October, ’91. And then reelected as mayor in ’95. And the butt (crack) of many jokes for years to come.
- OJ Simpson
Didn’t he assault 2 dudes with a deadly weapon in a hotel room a couple of years back? On tape?
If you don’t remember, click here
Damage? 15 years. That [insert 5-letter adjective here] is definitely 62 years old.
-Eliot Spitzer
The former Governor of New York was a staunch advocate of cleaning up the city’s tax free income hookers. All except for those provided by the Emperor’s Club VIP. First known as only “Kristen”, Ashley Dupre would become the whore Spitz would run away with– to the Mayflower Hotel in Washington.
The same hotel that showed up in the affidavit– they’d wire tapped the phone conversation between himself and the brothel, where he specifically requested Dupre.
Eliot would trick $80,000 of the broke city’s money on this floozy.
Damage? He had to give up his role of Governor to this guy
and gets a new CNN show in the fall.
- Lawrence Taylor
In perhaps the most recent hotel room no-no, Hall of Famer/Ex-Giant Lawrence Taylor, or LT. Dude got caught up in May. At a Holiday Inn. With a 16-year-old girl.
a-la
More on this hairy ass situation here.
Damage? Charged with:
3rd degree statutory rape– Sex with someone under 17, while being waaaay over 21.
3rd degree patronization– A fancy way of saying he paid for an underage hooker.
Taylor has been indicted & faces up to 5 years in the slammer and becoming the newest member of the sex offender registry if convicted.
I recommend Gore & friends take this song off of their “Going Out Mix” immediately.
Al can learn a lot from these cats, and he might still be able to scrape by the law, depending on what’s found.
I’m not jumping to any conclusions though. In his defense, she was a massage therapist.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
You Like Guns?
If you intend on keeping a militia in your home, you’re in luck.
If you intend on getting caught up like T.I., you’re in luck.
If you just like guns and want to own some just because you can, you’re in luck.
The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision that if they didn’t like the laws as they were, gun owners could challenge city and state regulations, claiming the laws violate their Second Amendment rights.
Basically the verdict says that states (like the Federal Government) has to allow citizens to Bear Arms.
How was that not clear?
The case come from a near 30-year-old Chicago ban on handguns, period. That is until 4 people (obviously the minimum # of people who qualify to be considered “some” or a “group”) decided they needed the weapons for protection.
The problem with this, is…well…they exist:
and they’re already cooking up lawsuits. The claim? Existing legislation in several states in order to keep guns out of, like,
everywhere, is still too stifling.
Enter Chris Cox, chief lobbyist of the NRA.
He wouldn’t dish on exactly which states were going to feel backlash from the NRA, but he did say, quote (via Politico)
“Every law-abiding American has a right to a gun regardless of where they live.” Cox also threw in that the NRA is going to work on loosening more state & federal gun laws.
Nice.
In case there isn’t already enough to worry about.
Perhaps we can take solace in knowing that felons still won’t be allowed guns, right?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Clinton On Welfare
As it turns out, Bill Clinton has a brother, Roger.
This brother, Roger, has a daughter, Macy.
And she’s on food stamps.
Macy says that since a DNA test (you know, the kind they use here):
she took at 6 years old proved Roger was, indeed, her paternal father. She’s only met him a couple of times. He’s also never handed her a dime.
Apparently he promised her a trust fund, using his brother’s money using his old druggie money when Macy turned 18. That hasn’t happened. As a result, Macy feeds herself on a government issued benefits card so she can get free food at her local grocery store.
The mother, Martha Spivey, says she wants to go after the Clinton deadbeat– for upwards of $30,000 in back child support.
Here we have 2 Clinton brothers on our hands.
The good egg, Bill. Former President of the United States. Not once, but twice:
….aaaand this guy:
Haven’t we seen “The Other Sibling Disorder” before?
So Macy should’t feel too alone in this.
However, she is a cosmetology student with (and I quote–Via Huffington Post): “An unspecified part time job.”
What the hell kind of “unspecified part-time job” could a Clinton have?
There’s only 1 of 2 options:
Working for
or working for
Either way, I’m pretty sure talking about this on Inside Edition is not in her job description. She better get back to work.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Roid Rage
You didn’t think I was gonna let this one slip into obscurity, did you?
I can’t begin to describe how disappointing this is to me. As a sports fan, I can’t be bothered with the constant stream of junkies who pretend to be professional athletes. Like it or not, they chose to play a sport that propels them into the national spotlight & consequently, your living room, where your kids will watch his (or her) every move and aspire to be just like them one day.
Then comes the realization that their favorite (insert sport here) player is really strung out on performance enhancing drugs, and it really wasn’t their sheer talent hard at work, but the juice.
Mark McGwire becomes yet another statistic. Earlier this week he sat weeping in front of a host of his peers & superiors admitting to the steroid use that led to him breaking a tiny little home run record back in 1998.
His years of taking roids were just about half of those he spent as a player in the MLB. He started in 1989 & stopped in 1990. From ’93-’99 he kept his muscles juiced, well into the period he competed with Sammy Sosa for Roger Maris’ single-season home run record– hitting 70, breaking a record held tightly since 1961.
In 2010, 12 years “far away” into the future, things have gotten a little weirder. Sammy Sosa’s no longer in Mark’s back pocket, but guest-starring in reruns of “Casper” on FX.
All the endorsements and fanfare have tuckered out, and many others since have been BBQ’ed for their participation in usage, ( Darryl Strawberry, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Darryl Strawberry again, Alex Rodriguez) Mark thought it was safe to peek out and admit that his whole image since “the last good year of Hip Hop” was a hoax.
So he admitted on Monday to being on & off “the stuff” for 10 years. What does he get?
A slap on the hands & a wag of the finger?
Excommunicated from the MLB for at least a year?
A date with K-Ci Fantasia Barrino?
No!
None of the above punishments were as suitable as….
The Commish Bud Selig still letting Mark be the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals come February, 2011.
Can we just save the grunt work and automatically assume that the home run class of 2011 & beyond for The Cards will all be
But it’s not all good.
This motherf*cka aged badly, didn’t he?
Good grief.
Doesn’t he have reason to?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
The Real R-O-C
We can all think of different kinds of ROC’s:
Yeah, but it’s not what you think.
After protests since its inception 36 years ago, the infamous Rockerfeller Drug Laws are finally seeing some reform in New York State.
Last Wednesday (while you were worried about what team Terrell Owens would go to) The NYS assembly voted in favor of a bill that would lessen the harsh sting of the narcotic law, enacted in 1973. It would eliminate the mandatory minimum sentencing and allow judges to appoint drug treatment or probation instead of doing (@ least) 15 years of hard time.
*Ahem*
And here’s an excerpt from a paper that I wrote on Mandatory Minimums last year as part of my Capstone:
Governor Nelson Rockefeller enacted New York State’s Rockefeller Drug Laws in 1973. They served to dole out large sentences to those who were dealing and in possession of narcotics. The penalty for selling two or more ounces of heroin, morphine, opium, cocaine or cannabis (called a Class A felony) or possessing four or more ounces or more of those substances would call for a minimum of 15 years in prison and a maximum of 25 years to life. It was to send a message to those involved that there was no tolerance for drug trafficking and drug use. What resulted was the unjust and disproportionate incarceration of Black males and not the high profile drug lords it was originally seeking. “And although black Americans comprise only 14 per cent of regular drug users, they represent about half of those in jail for drug offences.” (Baldwin 1). It was also more likely for Black offenders to be in possession of crack rather than cocaine because it was cheaper and thus more accessible to African Americans in poorer communities.
A slice more of my intellectual prowess:
The Rockefeller Drug laws were not only widely disproportionate in whom it incarcerated, but it largely expanded the prison population. Overcrowding ensued, as cases were no longer looked at on an individual basis in order to determine a true appropriate sentence for each person. Even though African Americans and Latinos comprised 23.2% of those incarcerated, they made up 93% of inmates imprisoned for drug offenses, even though the sale and use of drugs were reportedly proportionate between races. The Rockefeller Drug Laws carried the same maximum sentences as people who had committed murder, arson and kidnapping.
These laws were also made to enforce the laws against drug ‘kingpins’, they ended up disproportionately affecting African Americans, with lower-level offenders and users bearing the brunt of the law. Recent crime information illustrates this point. “Arrest statistics from 2000 show that…drug abuse violations represented the largest single crime category for which African Americans were arrested. (Free Jr., 3). Not only does the system not take into account histories and past violations, it arbitrarily incarcerates people for small violations. It has been theorized and proven that police intentionally target African Americans in drug offenses. “…arrest statistics are a product of selective drug legislation aimed primarily at poor people and people of color and the selective enforcement of such laws.” (Free Jr. 3).Socioeconomic and racial disparities play a major part in even entering the system. Class influence has the power to sway corrupt members of the system such as cops and judges. Poorer defendants are subject to public defenders that do not handle cases as thoroughly as they should because of lack of interest and motivation, where there is no incentive for self gain. Those with low resources cannot afford to pay for proper representation nor are they as likely to fully understand the intricacies of the law. There were large amounts of drug runners and lower level curriers that were arrested and given excessive sentences for first time offences and possessions of crack without any prior convictions. The laws were not only aiming for those who sold and distributed large amounts of these drugs, but ended up incarcerating those with no prior criminal record or violent history.
“Fifty-five percent of all Class A drug felons have no prior criminal convictions of any kind. Even the notoriously harsh federal mandatory minimum sentences only require a five-year sentence for the first offense sale of 500 grams (nearly 18 ounces) of cocaine.” (DrugPolicy.org)
This supports the claim that sentencing for cocaine (users and vendors) was much different because the people who tended to use them tended to be better off economically and not Black or carry a stigma. the unfairness continues to be outlined, with the law not clarifying why there are such heavy sanctions for something that was clearly disproportionately affecting Blacks by that time.
MMMMM…I’m quoting myself.
In 2004, there was a slight change to the RDL’s, changing the minimum sentence to 8 years for suppliers and 1 yr. for sellers instead of the decade and a half they used to dole out to everyone. In this 94-46 decsision the State Assembly voted to change the Rockerfeller Drug Laws, giving judges the option to assign probation or drug treatment in exchange for time behind bars.
Not yet quite the repeal that people have been pushing for, but certainly a step in the right direction.
…Not so much.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
