Category Archives: Hilarity
Everyone Looks The Same To Me Vol. 24
Week 6 in the NFL is underway this weekend, but it’s the 1st game of the season for dark-bar-attender-almost-underage-girl-troublemaker Ben Roethlisberger. The quarterback will return to his position this Sunday against the Cleveland Browns.
While watching a piece on him last night, I noticed something.
in some most angles looks like
It’s true. See?
So we can deduce that Roethlisberger had a stint on SNL and Ferrell took the rap for Big Ben…which is why it’s been a minute he’s been in anything since The Other Guys.
I hope you get it.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 29- Jersey Shore Learns To Dougie
Kinda.
I have been having a frustrating day, and Dawnie posted this on my wall.
[Insert Guffaw Here] Thanks Dawnie!
Let’s get this straight. None of them can dance. Stick to “Beating Up The Beat”.
-Vinny looks like he’s just watching Pauly and (poorly) doing whatever he does
-Ronnie looks high & keeps doing that plane thing with his arms
-They gave up listening to the beat after :30
-Bwhahahah Ronnie’s on coke @ :58
- @1:13 I decided I couldn’t watch anymore, but you get the point. Still hilarious. A great pick-me-up.
Moral of the story: Leave the fistpumping to Guidos, leave dancing to Black people.
Doesn’t really translate well when it’s still…
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hillarity Pt. 28- Bert & Ernie Rap to M.O.P.
This is completely swagger jacked from my friend Mike John Weisberg,
whom I affectionately call Vick. As in Michael “Don’t-have-him-babysit-your-dog-over-the-weekend-but-its-okay-now-cuz-he’s-playing-good-football” Vick. It’s what he insisted I called him upon meeting him our freshman year in college. Anywho, he posted this to his friends facebook page, and in the true stalker essence Facebook represents, it showed up on my news feed.
I’m glad he was able to appreciate this, considering Vick is half selectively deaf. It made me laugh out loud, hard, and not many things can do that.
Thank You to the genius mind that incorporated M.O.P. with Sesame Street.I don’t really see a difference.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 27- Fast Don’t Lie
Ken Jeong is hilarious. He’s like the video girl in this long ass commercial.
I also like that he makes it rain.
Safe to say that he’s the funniest Asian. You got fat Sorry Margaret Cho.
Remarkably, they look alike.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 26- Amare Stoudemire, This [Insert 5-Letter Noun Here]
The culprit– The Body Issue of ESPN Magazine. It features the bodies of tastefully naked athletes…so we can see what they look like naked…without actually having to see them naked.
As new as he is to the Knicks (yes I am still a fan, like Spike Lee) Amare Stoudemire is new to the feature. And here was the result:
!!!!!!!!!
Fingers?? And not even all 5 of them???
I guess everybody gets 1.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Why Kobe’s A Toolbox: Reason #764
Who doesn’t love good sh*t talking in Sports? They’re games for crying out loud!
However
It becomes a different animal when Kobe Bryant does it. No matter how tall or small the insult.
Perhaps if he wasn’t
-Worshipped
-Italian-y
-(Sigh) a great ball player (Pause)
-Dropped of all charges
-Irreversibly cocky
This wouldn’t sound like it does.
It’s also reminiscent of a time long before Jason Kidd & Tony Parker shared a commercial, and Kidd said the only thing Parker Frenchie could do better than him was…speak French.
This, of course was just about 10 years ago, and although not that bad of a comment, sounded worse because it was not too long after Beatergate.
And then there’s this.
Note: The Kobester did say he was better One on One
I bet.
Love,
*Ms. Officer Read the rest of this entry
Hilarity Pt. 25- Rude Boy
White people can’t dance.
As if all other scientific studies haven’t justified this, here’s yet another video proving it true.
I’m pretty sure this was not the intended use of Rihanna’s Rude Boy.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 24- Jason Whitlock Photoshop Contest
New York Times Article.
Photoshop.
Contest.
& We all know how much I love Photoshop contests.
Here are the best submissions (and winner) from Deadspin’s artist showdown:
These people are geniuses.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 23- The Dougie Instructional
Just a few Hilarities ago, we had a our 1st “Dougie” entry. By complete happenstance, I came across this new nugget.
Truth be told, I really like that song. I just don’t know what that dance looks like. And that’s ok because I’m not 17.
(Fast forward past the 1st :53 of bullsh*t)
What is this [Insert 5-letter noun here] wearing???
I’m not so sure a grown ass man wearing baggy ankle shorts should be the one to teach me.
From the “beginner’s steps” to this dance, I knew a bodyroll was not too far behind. Enter the biggest [Insert 5-letter noun here], bodyrolling.
All these [Insert 5-letter noun]s look stupid.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 22: NBA 2K11 Commercial Feat. Michael Jordan, Rondo, Westbrook, Iguodala, Smith, & Rose
This commercial is the mirror image of any household in Anytown, USA with several 20 something Negro men in it.
Except for one thing:
Derrick Rose.
@ :23- I’m just not too sure what chocolate sauce and strawberries, and Rose making chocolate covered strawberries for 5 men– have to do with
-Michael Jordan
-The Bulls
-Basketball
-The NBA
-The other 4 people in this commercial
-This commercial
-Himself
-The turkey baster he later uses
-Anything in life at all
But it is sad the Bulls cake didn’t have “I <3 Jordan” on it.
Nonetheless, it’s ok to love Michael Jordan
[ ]
this much.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 21: Being A Dickhead’s Cool
Via my darling friend Dawn Gregory, this happened upon my Facebook wall.
Don’t be put off by the English accents. Just watch it.
Funny thing is, this holds true the world over.
This can go on and on.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Lil’ Wayne Sends SI ANOTHER Open Letter
Last week, Lil’ Wayne penned an open letter to Sports Illustrated on his picks for the U.S. Open.
This clearly perturbs… everyone. Say no more, I’ve managed to get my hands on a draft copy of what Weezy really meant to say:
N****az watch tennis too.
Obviously, I wrote this entire thing on a ruler, since the Valium does not allow me to pay attention to what I’m doing for very long. I don’t know why they’d let something like a ruler in a prison. Thank God I’m alone. Anyway, I wanted to let SI know that I’m a big fan of all the famous tennis players, even the ones who aren’t even really playing anymore. Any bog name you’ve got, I’m a fan of. Especially Nadal! I had the smartest member of Young Money, Drake, Google all his stats, and then read them to me over the phone. Happy to report, I did not get phone checked. It was at his suggestion that I use the phrase “pulled out”.
With that said, I <3 Nadal.
Oops, I went this whole letter without mentioning the William’s sisters. Whoop, there it is.
P.S.: I could not spell check this letter. Let a n*gga slide.
P.P.S.: Enclosed is a self portrait taken a while back. Please feel free to republish.
Truthfully Yours,
Lil’ Weezy, aka Weezy F. Baby
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 20- Eminem & Rihanna Parody- Love The Way You LIKE
If you figured this was a parody, you’re correct.
Not quite Em & Rih, but perhaps that’s whats most likable about it.
By far the best part of this whole vid is that dude’s dancing gut.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 19- Why High Schoolers Shouldn’t Play Pro Sports
Not if they’re gonna f*ck it up like this:
-The Running Back ran in the wrong direction. Fast.
-@:10 you can see his teammate say “Aw Damn. Not this [insert 5-letter noun here]
-He gets cornered & gives up.
-The refs barely walk over to make the call. They think this is sh*tty too.
Might as well.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 17- Don’t Dougie In Traffic
Cali Swag District was popular in Cali.
Cali Swag District made a song called “Teach Me How to Dougie”. (Download the Remix Here)
They played the video on BET.
and VEVO.
Other people started doing it, not knowing what it was.
And this [Insert 5- letter noun here] Dougied right into oncoming traffic.
My roommate, Turkey, is to thank for this one, (via Jemella Raymore’s Facebook). She came flying into my room hysterical over the vid. At first I was a skeptic, thinking it wasn’t real. But at (her) 3rd, 4th, & 5th play, Turkey pointed out that the Ice Cream truck dragged him a bit.
The thing is, @ :20, you can see him stop & ponder his decision to go further into the street. He probably thought this was a good idea, because he did it.
Perhaps my favorite part of the video is the “Thumbs Up If You Dougie In The Street” blurb.
or that he actually walks up to (& heeds) the stop sign.
or how he sticks his hand out instead of moving.
or how the cameraman doesn’t feel a sense of urgency to move a little bit quicker.
In the fat dudes defense, it is an incredibly catchy song.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
