Category Archives: Geezer Swagg
New Vid: Geezer Vs. Geezer- MC Hammer Disses Jay-Z in New Track
Who else was completely unaware MC Hammer was still alive in a sparring match with Jiggaman?
“Hammer went broke, so you know I’m more focused/I lost 30 mil’, so I spent another 30/’Cause unlike Hammer, 30 million can’t hurt me.- Jay-Z on Kanye West’s “So Appalled”
@ :01 At least this is in HD.
@ 1:07 Who’s idea was it for a close up on Hammer while he licked his lips??
@ 1:08 Why is this office sh*t so long?
@ 1:38 This is an extreme case of Moobs. Yes. Man boobs. Gimmie my credit on that word when you outsource it.
@ 1:45 BWHAHAHAH Those shirts are obnoxious
@ 1:53 Ciara?
@ 2:16 Did he just tweek?
@ 2:44 That is not the least bit intimidating.
@ 2:27 Enough of Ciara’s solo now.
@ 3:24You can tell that was one of those lines he thought was really clever. Probably exclaimed “Oh Dip!”
P.S.: Didn’t Jay sell Rocawear a couple of years ago?
@ 3:35 Is Stanley Kirk Burell even from N.Y.? That’s what I thought.
@ 4:35 In Jay’s defense, he’s not that fat.
I kinda want Jay-Z to respond to this. Not, in like, a Super Ugly type of way…but in like an “I know this is sh*tty & I just wanted to let you know that I’m aware it exists and I think this is sh*tty” type of way.
If that doesn’t work out, he can always just play with himself.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Why Sumner Redstone Is A Hot Piece of Ass
This is Sumner Redstone:
(I’m-almost-dead Hot)
Now to the undead naked eye, he may not look like much. But to a hopeful blushing bride me, he’s fine as hell.
And worth $2.8 billion.
The media magnate is part of a sultry list of the Forbes 400.
Other sex kittens wealthy beyond human brain comprehension include:
Samuel Newhouse: Jew-y Hot
(Conde Nast/Discovery) $6.2 Billion
Charles Ergen: I-sell-a-bunch-of-sh*t-that-doesn’t-really-work Hot
(Dish Network) $5.2 Billion
David Geffen: Skinned-cat bald Hot
(Music/Film) $5.1 Billion
Haim Saban: Mosque Hot
(Power Rangers) $3.4 Billion
George Lucas: I-have-a-Black-wife Hot
(Star Wars) $3.25 Billion
Oprah Winfrey: Why-aren’t-you-married-yet-who-is-Gail-really Hot
(Media) $2.7 Billion
Mark Cuban: Straight-jacket Hot
(Let it be known, I’d actually date him)
(HDNET/Dallas Maveriks/Entourage Cast Member Now) $2.5B
Ted Turner: Mustache Hot
(TV/Communications) $1.9 Billion
Michael Ilitch: I’ve-never-seen-a-f*cking-Little Caesars-ever-so-they-don’t-exist Hot
(Little Caesars Pizza) $1.7B
I know what you’re thinking:
1. She’s sick (you have no f*cking sense of humor if that’s the case)
2. “Why have the hots for a peasant such as Redstone? Why not go for the gusto with Bill Gates ($54B)?”
Because I like a little humility with my coffee, thank you. The richest man in America? That’s just tacky. Besides, Melinda doesn’t seem like she’s going anywhere.
They may be all raisins -with the exception of Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook, 26, $6.9B) & Oprah- but if you say you wouldn’t “top off” any one of these Forbes 400 for, like, morthgage, or a Gallardo, you’re a f*cking liar.
{Disclaimer: I just want to get rid of this f*cking Northeastern debt now, without having to die or be near dead to do so}
Anne Cox Chambers: She’s 90 Hot
(Cox Enterprises) 12.7 Billion
This is all in jest. I’m just playing.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 16- See Brett Favre’s Dong
In light of the recent a-married-Brett-Favre-sexts-some-chick-who’s-kinda-famous–but-not-really-and-20-years-his-junior, someone remixed Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” to properly encompass what Favre was thinking– the moment he decided to send Jenn Sterger pics of his schlong. (Why ruin the rhyme scheme?)
I especially appreciate the collage.
…but this signifies it’s time to hang it up.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Damn
John Stamos makes me hot.
Yep, that’s what I said.
And yes, that is the current John Stamos. All 46 years of him.
I am half his age.
& All the way into him.
I can feel the judgemental glares through the computer screen. I don’t care what you think. Say what you want, this near 50 year old man is hotter than
all of the guys I’m talking to right now
many guys I actually know
Just about 90% of the men I’ve dated, talked to, seen, fondled (intentional or otherwise) had a conversation with, breathed in an elevator near in the last….year or 88.
But I am no novice Kelly-ee.
I’ve always had a thing for older men, dating all the way back to one of my my original crushes;
when he was still going by Puff Daddy. & I wasn’t even in high school yet. So it should come as no surprise that given the opportunity, I’d gladly skinny dip with Mr. Stamospoopopopollrkokojohfshuohgaiyhfvhinvbajshduolous.
Oh yes. Please more.
So what, most of you may know him as just Uncle Jesse from Full House?
I’d like to refer to him as Dr. Hot
mmmmmm. How much fun could you have with that?
….Didn’t I hear somewhere that he was a sex addict?
(Ok, ignore the babies. That’s definitely a mood killer)
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Geezer Swagg
My very own counterpart, Miss USA Crystle Stewart and I have something in common (besides our looks– See the resemblance? lol)
Its out affinity for older men.
But even I find this to be in bad taste.
The two have been seen around Chi-town canoodling, particularly @ one restaurant named Sepia.
Now, there are my fair share of older men that I would do, (of course if they were available–Nooooo disrespect)
but that’s besides the point.
Bill Murray? She’s 27 & he is 58. That means he’s 60. Which is rounded to 100. Which means Miss USA Crystle Stewart has been seen around town dating this!!!:
If they got together and had kids,
They’d probably look like:
I’m not saying, I’m just sayin…
But I guess she figures if he’s been in movies like:
Little Shop of Horrors
Caddyshack
Groundhog Day
Charlies Angels (as one of the Angels)
Osmosis Jones
and
Garfield: A Tale of two Kitties
then his pockets gotta be fat.
God speed.
Love,
Ms. Officer
