Category Archives: Bodyrolling
New Vid: The Beyonce- Dance For You
Here we go again.
:06 Last time we heard sirens in a The Beyonce vid, it was during “Ring The Alarm”…and…WELL
@ :23 This entire thing is giving me Dick Tracy.
@ :56 Does my butt look like that when I sit down? #ProbablyNot
@ :59 This, I believe, is her signature dance. That cat thing.
@ 1:14 $20 says he takes it out mid-vid.
@ 1:24 Why is this enclosed office so windy? Is it the slow-moving fan?
@ 1:29 $20 says something else is poking besides his collar
@ 2:13 The Beyonce had a lot of pre-very-pregnant gyrating to do on film before she got very pregnant. These videos are akin to those Lil’ Wayne shot pre-incarceration. #Sohecouldbeoutwhilehewasin
@ 2:28 GET READY TO PAY UP
@ 2:47 How much of this moment is he savoring in his mouth right now?
@ 3:09 WE JUST SAW THIS IN THE “BEGO” VID
@ 3:17 Ok, so, now the wind makes sense.
@ 4:07 How many gay-guy-who-thinks-they-can-do-this-better-than-The-Beyonce-parodies will this spawn?
@ 4:46 This man is one of the only men to ever be looked at through The Beyonce’s legs.
@ 4:48 Hahahahah he’s clutching himself
@ 5:05 Ok, so, kind of wanted them to have at least a little sex on camera.
DAMN YO U ARTISTIC CREATIVITY.
This was hot. Although I am not a smoker, The Beyonce just has that effect.
How many of you will now add this song to your respective “Strawberry Moonlight Candle Stargaze Panty” playlists?
Too many, I deduce.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hilarity Pt. 40- Iranian Ass Grab
American male athletes love each other’s asses. They demonstrate just how much in every major U.S. sport:
Doesn’t look like A-Rod is falling from the precipice of anything, but it does seem he prefers to be firmly entranced guided by Derek Jeter’s butt.
In Rodriguez’s defense, IT IS A SUPERBLY HYPNOTIZING ASS.
Sheffield may or may not agree.
We all know Shaq is into this:
…Then there’s the NFL…
implementing the “grab and plow”.
Yet all of this somehow pales in comparison to an Iranian soccer team’s celebration of a win:
@ :14 #6′s hand almost fully disappears into #13′s ass. #13, realizing the foreign object, sweeps his teammate’s hand away.
This replays in every kind of “mo” (pun intended) throughout the remainder of the video.
Perspolis players Mohammad Norsati and Sheys Rezaei have not only been fined $40,000, but suspended from the league.
That’s exactly what an on-feild colonoscopy gets you.
And nighttime visits from Kobe.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: The Beyonce Feat. Kanye West & J. Cole- Party
You will never escape The Beyonce. Sit down & succumb. That said, she just earned herself her own category on this site. (See tags).
Good grief, This Song GOES.
Easily the type of song where you shuffle drunk side to side & yell the hook as loud as your (top shelf) liquor tinged lungs will allow.
@ :03 Solange?
@ :05 This could get dangerous. OR SEXY
@ :06 #ZESTTEST Jail workout, or BFF workout?
@ :09 THE BEYONCE IN A (JERSEY) TRAILOR PARK IS HARD TO BELIEVE #YOUNEEDMOREPEOPLE
@ :18 Re Introducing The Beyonce’s side boob
@ :20 Hay you! A Ginger lurks behind you! LOOKOUT
@ :24 She really seizes any opportunity to dress like her name used to sounds. WHO ARE YOU REALLY
@ :26 Glad I didn’t actually see her pick that up from the ground.
@ :34 Ok we’ve seen this before
@ :44 Ashanti?
@ :51 There’s The Other sibling
@ 1:02 I can appreciate “The Bogle” when it reveals itself
@ 1:17 Ok, so, THE BLONDE GUY
@ 1:23 AND THE ALBINO
@ 1:25 You, sir, ARE ABOUT TO BODYROLL
@ 1:44 That’s cool, I wear fur in the pool too.
@ 1:45 I am a STAUNCH ADVOCATE
@ 1:53 How many bathingsuits can one wear in under 4 minutes?
@ 1:59 ALMOST THERE
@ 2:11 Big man, tiny car
@ 2:16 Ok, so, you can tell he wasn’t there at the same time. THIS DIGITAL LAYERING IS DANGEROUS
@ 2:40 Who doesn’t love a good feather fight?
@ 2:54 And silly string?
@ 3:03 As gorgeous as The Beyonce is, I’ve always thought Kelly was prettier. [DO NOT INSERT LIGHT SKINNED/DARK SKINNED ANYTHING HERE]
@ 3:06 WE GET IT, THE BEYONCE. YOU’RE TEAM NIP SLIP
@ 3:38 How cute
This was fun. Felt like I was at a 3 minute party. MINUS ANDRE 3000. Why couldn’t his & J.Cole’s verse co-exist in the vid? #GIVEDRESHINE
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Heat Lose Bulls Game, Win The Crying Game
Just to clarify– They only specified no crying in baseball.
Says Erik Spoelstra of his team after last night’s loss vs. Chi:
and after a misspelled Dwyane Wade basically fessed up later on in that interview…
I WONDER WHO’S LEFT
This was Bosh mere days ago after the loss vs. Orlando, when they blew a 24 point lead in the 2nd half. That sucks. Especially since they can’t pull it together against their main competitors in the East- Boston, Chicago, & Orlando. Somehow, they remain #3 in the region’s standings.
But this Bulls loss came as the result of a(nother) last second failed buzzer beater by Wade– The Heat are 1-7 when down by 3 points or less in these situations.
If this “team” wants to not get knocked out of round 1 of the playoffs by a possible #6 seed (i.e. Knicks), they’re going to have to:
1. figure out who the leader is
2. pass him the rock in clutch situations
3. get a coach they’ll listen to
4. not cry about losing games on or off camera
Spoelstra was probably just trying to show how much passion his players have, but it backfired– revealing the supply of rattles & Gerber available to them post game.
Whatever, this is funny.
Just to show they’re not alone, I’ve assembled a special edition Miami Heat playlist:
Ja Rule- I Cry
Most anything by Ja Rule would suffice. But definitely this.
Obie Trice- Cry Now
Pretty much nailed it @ :15.
Mary J. Blige- Not Gon’ Cry
…Or they could take the opposite approach…and Exhale.
Justin Timberlake- Cry Me A River
So obvious. So Poingnant.
Bob Marley- No Woman No Cry
No Chris Bosh, No Cry.
After all that fanfare,
And sh*t they were talking, these guys should be able to step up and pull it together. They need time to gel, but…
They look as out of control as
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Why Kobe’s A Toolbox: Reason #764
Who doesn’t love good sh*t talking in Sports? They’re games for crying out loud!
However
It becomes a different animal when Kobe Bryant does it. No matter how tall or small the insult.
Perhaps if he wasn’t
-Worshipped
-Italian-y
-(Sigh) a great ball player (Pause)
-Dropped of all charges
-Irreversibly cocky
This wouldn’t sound like it does.
It’s also reminiscent of a time long before Jason Kidd & Tony Parker shared a commercial, and Kidd said the only thing Parker Frenchie could do better than him was…speak French.
This, of course was just about 10 years ago, and although not that bad of a comment, sounded worse because it was not too long after Beatergate.
And then there’s this.
Note: The Kobester did say he was better One on One
I bet.
Love,
*Ms. Officer Read the rest of this entry
Ring The Alarm: Bishop Eddie Long Accuser Jamal Parris Speaks Out, Finally
Good Grief.
At first I didn’t want to touch this, but
after watching this video:
1st: Don’t trust any Negro outside of 1988 with a Jheri Curl.
2nd: Don’t trust any Negro donned in UnderArmour who doesn’t actually f*ckin play football.
3rd: Don’t trust any grown Negro who takes pictures of himself in a bathroom (I hope those are his flip-flops)
4th: Does this remind anyone (else) of Lil’ Wayne & Baby?
5th: Don’t trust any Negro whose last name is Long & accused of sexually abusing 4 (& possibly more) teen boys & “pulls out” of a Tom Joyner interview that could’ve possibly helped him.
Yikes.
I really do hope this whole thing isn’t true. But damn.
Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Queen Kobe
In honor of my Celtics taking it to the hole (pause) last night & moving one step up in the 2010 NBA Finals…
I decided to write about Kobe Bryant.
This post is dedicated to 2 very special people, and 2 of the top 5 funniest people I know (and in existence) Maury Turay & David Auguste.
Love these guys.
& These guys have an unhealthy semi-homoerotic ongoing love affair with Kobe Bryant…
and something tells me they’re in luck.
So I dedicate this “Best of Kobe” montage to them:
If you weren’t impressed with his sportsmanship yet…here it comes…
Just when you thought these zesty ass pictures from the L.A. Times died… I went ahead & brought them back.
He took the L on this one. Best part is, I don’t even have to say anything.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
New Vid: Ciara Feat. Ludacris- Ride
Song is tough, but this vid is all the rage. I was commanded to write about it.
Bodyrolling all around like that, she looks like a female Chris Brown.
or
That is all.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Bodyrolling
I hate this.
He is about to break out into an unapologetic body roll. Contrary to what you might believe, it is an epidemic.
For those of you unfamiliar, allow me to show u a small example of what I am referring to:
Whoever this is, he’s an *sshole. Never mind the jerk holding the camera.
Shout out to the 71,351 fools who sat & watched this because they thought it was sexy.
Now believe you me, I am a staunch advocate of preventing this, so u can imagine how much it pains me to even compose this post. Nonetheless, here we go:
This qualifies as bodyrolling too. Do not be fooled by the low degree of intensity.
But there are varying types:
The Haitian Bodyroll:
The used-to-be-cute-but is now a monster Bodyroll:
The I’m entirely too old for this Bodyroll
The Group Bodyroll, a.k.a, one form of ‘Swordfighting’
(On the floor counts too!)
The side ‘curl’ squiggle Bodyroll
The ain’t- u- in- enough- trouble- as- it- is-u- got- the- nerve- to- be- bodyrollin’ bodyroll
The T-Pain Bodyroll
Yet as I sit here trying to force back the vomit chunks from hitting my computer, none of these offenses seem to even come close. In fact, they pale in comparison to this latest crime:
!!!!!!!!!!!
Guilty!
Spectacular from the group Pretty Ricky gets 10 Consecutive life terms in prison!
With Johnny Gill!
That was easily the most talked about video on the internet this week. Awareness is up approx. 1 trillion percent.
(Don’t forget about his other group member- another grown man calling himself ‘Lingerie’. Might as well call himself ‘Bra’)
Now, I sincerely do hate bodyrolling & believe it is waaay to effeminate for men to even touch.
Let it be duly noted:
This type of behavior is beyond unacceptable for any male claiming to be straight.
…Cuz if not, it seems like they’re just trying to…
Now which guys do u think that applies to?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
