Category Archives: Amazingness

New Song Smell- Jay-Z Feat. B.I.C.- Glory

That’s right, your eyes do not decieve you.

Blue Ivy Carter is featured with her father Jay-Z crying in tune.

This, I blame on The Beyonce

Forget about the rumors about how much they paid Lenox Hill.

Forget about the “fregnancy” (fake pregnancy, that is) rumors.

Forget, well, this.

Listen to Jay-Z Feat. B.I.C.- Glory here

You heard correctly, Jay said they had a miscarriage before. Good Grief.

Truth be told, It’s a beautiful song. If only more men would take this stance…

Bey-Z, YOU’VE DONE IT AGAIN.

 

Love,

*Ms. Officer

Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Sounds Of Blackness

There’s nothing much I can say that this video already doesn’t.

Everything  here is awesome.

- The shaved part and mullets hair,

- Cosby sweaters and ”Members Only” coats 

- Kwanzaa, Black Santa

- Their voices

Also, I feel like I should be chewing peach cobbler while watching this.

 Although I am not in the holiday spirit this year, [Here is why] Soul Holidays comes close. It easily brings back fuzzy memories of these times when I was smaller, and everything else looked so…promising.

Nonetheless, I hope all of you Black people reminisced as I did.

At any rate,  

 

Where are you actual Sounds Of Blackness? Where? AND HOW MANY OF YOU ARE THERE REALLY

Love,

*Ms. Officer

 

New Vid: Robin Thicke- Love After War x Pretty Lil’ Heart Feat. Lil’ Wayne

Finally Thicke has returned w/ a new album. AND WHEN I GET IT HOME #SEEWHATIDIDTHERE

@ :01 Ooh big letters, tres Euro

@ :03 WOW I WAS RIGHT

@ :33 Scat.

@ :43 Love these two.

@ :56 Good grief Paula Patton is beautiful. Even in that wig. BUT IT WON’T LOOK THE SAME ON YOU NYC BIRDS. #BETTERNOTDOIT

@ 1:11 This is loveable

@ 1:16 I actually just finished doing that

@ 1:32 I sniff curtains too, Paula BUT I AM NOT ASHAMED

@ 2:07 Don’t believe we’ve ever seen a topless Robin Thicke. Admittedly, a little bird-chestier than expected.

@ 3:18 I like where this is going

@ 3:42 Just beautiful.

@ 3:51 Wait for it…

@ 4:15 Oh. thought something else was going to happen.

Amazing song, great vid. There’s a freshness to it that’s very much lacking in today’s music. [Insert young whipper snapper reference here].

But that is not all, world. I am also imprinting upon you Robin’s 2nd single, Pretty Lil’ Heart Featuring Lil’ Teeny Weezy F. Baby.

Download Robin Thicke- Pretty Lil’ Heart Feat. Lil Wayne here

Robin has a marvelous voice. Yet I wasn’t completely  sold on him until Sex Therapy. It got to the point whee I needed to be weaned off of that album because I would not (could not?) leave it alone. Something tells me Love After War will have the same effect.

Easy Bart. Love After War is out December 6th.

Love,

*Ms. Officer

Ms. Officer and The Jon B. Interview

It’s been a while since I’ve published anything here, and with good reason.  I wanted my 1st post back to be special, and something you requested.

On a June afternoon, I hurry down to Herbert Von King Park to ensure I’m on time for my interview with Jon B.  Hurry may or may not be an understatement, the blocks in Bed-Stuy have not yet all been gentrified. This is that section. 

Jon headlined the show, with Olivia as his opener as part of the Summerstage concert series.  Why they picked this venue is beyond me.  Was Vanderveer Park overbooked?

Although I’d previously met Jon B. at his album release party for Helpless Romantic, I’d never actually seen him perform.  He is an amazing talent who hasn’t had the greatest promotion behind him over the years.  However– his fan base is extremely loyal.

Anyone who has ever been to Von King knows it’s recreation center resembles the 2nd floor of a Public School. 

If you manage to not be distracted by:

- the Negro yelling in the background,

- my humidity fried hair

-the seizure my camera friend appears to be having

- the setting

…this shaped up to be a very good interview. 

@ :14 Talks about intimidation from Ryan Leslie

@ :54 Future collaborations

@ 1:45 Working w/ 2Pac, Nas, Jay-Z, & other Hip-Hop Legends

@ 2:14 “Lame White People Who Don’t Understand”

@ 3:27  Getting credit for Robin Thicke & Justin Timberlake’s careers

@ 4:36 “Are you financially well off?”

@ 5:10 Comfortable Swagg album release date: 11/11/11

@ 6:10 Rumors of Jon & LeToya Luckett

And then he gives me a drop for MsOfficer.com…which you see me ask for.

Thanks to his Jon’s wife Danette for being so gracious, manager Jamal & Slam from YKIGS.

Here’s his new one with DJ Quik, “Real Women”. PREACH.

More to come, more to come.

Love,

*Ms. Officer

 

 

New Vid: Dr. Dre Feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey- I Need A Doctor

Here it is. If you have circa 8 minutes.

@:01 Do you remember what you were doing on February 18th 2001?

@ :05 Beautiful.

@ :14 He looks mad

@ :34 Oh snap.

@ :41

“Straight outta Lo-Cash! A Crazy Motha*cka Named Gusto! I ****ed ya wife ‘cuz the ****h is a big hoe! I ****ed your mother, I ****ed your cat!”

@ 1:06 There’s a pit forming in my stomach.

@1:10 Product placement #1 here

@ 1:50 Oh crap this is not good for my nerves

@ 2:35 So…Eminiem’s just not going to age, huh?

@ 2:58 This feels like the Kanye West moving painting video

@3: 38 Preach.

@ 4:21 “Drop product placement #2 here”

@ 4:29 She doesn’t look how she sounds. I was more or less expecting her to look like this:

…all of them.

@ 4:34 What’s Dre’s obsession with this? #WaltDisneyTreatment

@5:38 So… Dre’s not gonna let the Stewie Griffin go, huh?

@ 5:53 “Enter product placement #3 here”

@ 6:08 Activate. Shape of…Melle Mel

@ 6:31 Pectorals of….Powdered Toast Man

@7:32 Whoa.

Glad Dr. Dre is back.

Even if he is extraordinarily enormous.

Love,

*Ms. Officer

BHM: Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesdays- Bob Marley

This is an offering I wrote for author extraordinaire Jeff Pearlman earlier this month. He featured it on his blog, read + comment here. On the last “Where The Hell Did Time Go Wednesday” of Black History Month, I decided it was appropriate to revisit.

 

On a Flatbush block in Brooklyn, in a building that commands fresh hedges and pansies every Spring, I was 9 when my mother & I lived on the 5th floor.  Weekend mornings announced themselves in the form of a Bob Marley baseline, The Wailers on the chorus. Sunbeams pierced the blinds and made their way through the makeshift living room greenhouse. In the Summer, these same beams shared roids with Clemens.

My mother hardly found these days as enchanting.  Instead it was “the fat boy upstairs, his [Insert 5-letter expletive here] girlfriend, and their music again.” Pretty pansies, crappy soundproofing. It never bothered me so much, I almost looked forward to the selection he’d play.  Maybe it’s different because an adult’s head can take less aggravation than that of a child’s.

Funny, that exchange of pulsating speakers and red broom scuff marks on the ceiling still remind me of weekend mornings with my mom. Bacon was always the co-star.

Marley would re-introduce himself in private school and college as tapestry on the walls of blonde boys. Eyebrows and hairlines met when they’d learned this (half) Jamaican did not smoke. Marley became the international symbol for Mari-joo-wana. Had this been the most significant memory of a man who introduced reggae, the pulse of a tiny sun-drenched isle to the entire world, and became it’s 1st international pop star? (Attention Snow, your thanks & apologies to the Marley family are in order) Had this been all they remembered of the revolutionary from St. Ann, JA, at a time where poverty & injustice were only to be seen & endured?

No.

Norman Manley.

Robert Nesta Marley.

My Father.

Clifton Officer is “one of those things unlike the other”, the improbable mention among these visionaries.

Currently the proudest Jamaican on Earth, I was made to believe the the Sun rose, set, and was created on the banks of Ocho Rios.

“Dem kall ‘im Robert Nesta Marley. Di won di baddest ting fi evar come from Jamaica. Nuh tru?”

One never dissents from such vigor.

“Jamaica ‘ave di best music, di best food, di most beautiful ‘oman … youh never did see anyting suh. Pass mi Red Stripe.”

I nod and smile, he is talking to 6-year old me.

Buried underneath worries of a cheerleader-less Super Bowl & Sarah Palin’s incompetence Reagan’s 100th speeches lies Black History Month, and a birthday that would have been Marley’s 66th. A section of Brooklyn’s Church Ave. (where it meets Nostrand and stretches to 98th st.) was re-named “Bob Marley Boulevard” in 2006. His music resounds here, and still remains relevant today:

- According to iTunes Reggae, he’s on top of the charts in 19 countries, including Germany, Australia, France, Spain, Greece, Iceland & Switzerland. (Yes, the U.S. is included.)

- Bob Marley & The Wailers’ Legend has sold 25 million worldwide, (13.5 in the U.S.) it’s. the biggest selling Reggae album in history.

- According to Billboard, this is the 962nd week Legend has charted, the 2nd longest ever. (Pink Flloyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon is #1 at 990.)

- Last year a CNN poll of Global icons noted Marley as one of the Top 5.

Certainly all of this is no match to his actual contributions, just accolades that accompany the terriotry.  You would need Oprah’s OWN, MTV, BET, VH1Soul, TV1 & The History Channel for an entire week to showcase this man’s influence, but hopefully everyone can identify their own Marley memories that elicit smiles. Or Tye Dye.

Here’s my favorite.

 

Love,

*Ms. Officer

M.L.K. Day- ESPN Town Hall Meeting

M.L.K.

Here is a reposting of ESPN’s Town Hall Meeting- Image of The Black Athlete that aired on Friday night.

Filmed at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in ATL. If you’ve never been, go. No words can translate standing there.

During various [Insert Black College Extracurricular Group Here], we discussed this topic time & time again.  “The current state of Black [Insert noun here].” More often than not, these meetings turned preach-y & accomplished less than intended. ESPN did a good job of not careening onto that rocky road.

Pt. 1

Pt. 2, Starring Marion Jones’ hair:

Pt. 3

I really wish they’d use more than John Legend’s version of Wake Up. Certainly there is more uplifting Black score to choose from.

Pt. 4

Spike Lee was a great addition to this panel. The fact that his eyebrows are always up adds to his effect.

Pt. 5

Pt. 6

Pt. 7

I love Jalen Rose. He’s turning into that uncle. I also like that he says “afletes”

Pt. 8- @ 2:30 Wilbon hit it right on the top of Gucci’s Ice Cream tattoo:

Pt. 9- -The stat @ 6:24 is horrifying.

@ 10:05 Wilbon, again, makes a great point

Pt. 10

Those education statistics were dismal. If they were, indeed, a lie, go forth young Blacks, get educations, and disprove them.

Love,

*Ms. Officer

The. Best. Christ. Mas. Songs. Evar.

December.

To me some it represents the impending doom of Jury Duty, only obeyed for fear of sharing a cell with an enlarged “woman” named Tiny.  To the world over, it signifies the thick of the Holiday Season, and, most importantly– the fun “month illustration” on every calendar.

A feeling only Chrismahaunakwanzikah can bring.

This season is also particularly special because it’s the only one with it’s own soundtrack. Sure there are songs about love, but not necesarily Valentine’s Day, No one outside of the Irish sing for drinking, St. Patty’s Day, and I’ve never particularly heard a President’s Day song that made me want to blast it on my iPod, further deafening myself.

However:

5. Nat King Cole- The Christmas Song

Mr. Cole’s voice is akin to a fireplace and a freshly iced gingerbread house. That you just bit the door off of. Because you thought no one would notice if you called it a gingerbread “hut”.

For now, let’s just call him the Velvet Voice.

4. Paul Mc Cartney- Wonderful Christmastime

As cheesy and heavily synthed as it is, it gets radio-played almost 10 times an hour. This is obviously some sort of scientific measure of Paul McCartney’s popularity. I can listen to this sequence (or lack thereof) and not get exhausted. Maybe that says more about me than it does the song.

3. Stevie Wonder- Christmastime

On an ordinary day, during any one of his songs, Stevie Wonder’s voice makes my eyeballs well up. Add pine, memories of holidays past. Here is the recipie for the salty discharge that begins to roll down my cheeks. We’ve got a stage two tissue emergency.

Please don’t take Stevie Wonder at all. Take Soulja Boy instead.

2. Mariah Carey- All I Want For Christmas

The crowd pretty much echoes the world’s sentiment on this song. If you don’t agree, you’ve never:

a.) Truly appreciated Mariah Carey’s crazy

b.) Truly appreciated Mariah Carey’s genius

Much like last week’s toenail standing moment at The Garden, this and the following have been in contention for the number 1 spot.

1. Let It Snow- Boyz II Men Feat. Brian McKnight

If you can get passed the abusive hoop-earring wearing in this video, you can truly appreciate the song for what it is. Nostalgia & Christmas Cheer donned in Charlie Brown sweaters.

A classic with a twist . And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

*Bonus*

It’s ok, half my family is Jewish. I’m allowed.

New Vid: Michael Jackson- Rock With You (Acapella)

We all know how I feel about Michael Jackson. And covers.

With that said, I hate Akon.

However, this vid emerged, reflective of an MTA subway ride. And I couldn’t be happier.

This assortment is called Duwende, which means something African “Phillipino mythical creature”, otherwise known as

It’s now safe to say this guy is not Chinese, but rather some sort of Chinese-y Latino-y mix.

There’s only one word for this:

Awesome.

Because:

-It’s not sh*tty

-There’s no autotune

-They can actually sing

Kudos to the cast of Doug.

If you want more on Duwende, it can be found here.

Love,

*Ms. Officer

Gift-Ism

I was reminded that the Holiday season was upon a couple of weeks ago, thanks to:

1. A fat subway rider

2. An amazing young man

My iPod was knocked from my pocket by the former, and into the train tracks of the Southbound A train at Jay St. (Downtown Brooklyn) as I walked over to meet my mother.

A string of obscenities and 2 token booth clerk visits later, I was munching on half of a red velvet cupcake completely cross–I was more annoyed that I was wasting my mother’s time.  The clerk clicked her insanely long red & green nails & swiveled her neck, clearly annoyed that I’d asked for her help her to call someone who could actually help.

During the 45-minute wait for transit workers to come from 14th street– another A pulled up and I asked the conductor what I should do. He was really sweet, suggesting that had they still allowed people to kill themselves not changed the rules, he would’ve jumped down there & gotten it.  As I’m speaking, a teenage boy appeared next to me. The A scoots down the tunnel & he approaches.

“Did your iPod fall?”

“Yes” (I frown)

“The same thing happened to me last week. The workers said they’d take an hour to come from 14th street then.”

“What did you do?”

“I jumped down there & got it. I’ll get yours if you like”

(Mouth agape) “No! Omg noooo! The people are coming!”

(My mother) “Well, be careful. Nothing is coming”

Before I knew it the young Negro was in the tracks, iPod retrieved. All the while I’m scrambling on the platform. Squealing. Worst. Thirty. Eight. Seconds. Evar.

Back to safety, he smiled and handed it over, then returned to where he was sitting.

Beaming, I walked back over to him and thanked him even more. I offered him some money, but he politely refused. More than once. I  almost wept.

Barely 5 minutes later, flashlights illuminate the other end of the tunnel.  The transit workers have arrived.  I bound down the platform to call the search & rescue off.  One of them (older Spanish-y Italian-y man) walks  over  & asks me why. I hold up the Mp3 player & relay the story, after which he arrives at this conclusion:

“A man’ll do anything for a pretty woman.” He inched closer. I walked away.

With that said, we’ve had so much Black Friday, Cyber Monday, & Chinese Tuesday talk, I figured…

Why not provide you with a list of stuff I could actually use?

These are things I wouldn’t necessarily buy for myself, but would love as a gift.

In no particular order:

-A Jets Snuggie Pillow.

Not the actual Snuggie though, it might give me epilepsy.

I like the J-e-t-s a lot, and wouldn’t mind having a constant reminder of that on my bed.

-Flirty Girl Fitness.

For some reason I love sh*t like this.

-Hip Hop Abs

Obviously a fat cow, I need it.

-A Book

Not just any book, this book. I love coffee table litchrachure, and this is a perfect addition.

-Anything sold in any infomercial. Especially:

Easy Feet. Any one who has known me in the Summertime knows my feet collect obscene amounts of dirt because I fancy dragging them around in flip flops.  This will help me clean them, minus cracking my neck in the shower.

- Not just anything from there, I want the entire thing. The franchise. It is my dream to one day at least own (a) Sephora. It has held the spot as my number 1 favorite store since I discovered it in Paris on my 13th birthday, before it made its E.E.U.U. debut.  Why is America so behind? This is one European import that doesn’t stink.

If you can’t buy the entire Sephora for me, this will do (sigh)

What’s on your wishlist?

Love,

*Ms. Officer

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