Hotel Rooms– Always a Bad Idea

1st, they said Al Gore  raped groped someone in a hotel room.

Then they said Al Gore didn’t bother anybody in a hotel room.

Now they say A l Gore did harass someone in a hotel room.

Well, which one is it??

The city of Portland is reopening a case stemming from 2006 where the former Vice President allegedly groped a woman, in a hotel room. Portland police previously closed the case because they claimed there was no evidence.

What the authorities are not saying is why they’ve reopened it.

You mean to tell me

Was a farce? Perhaps this was even a cover up so he  wouldn’t get caught rubbing up on some girls skanks females in the middle of nowhere Oregon?

Shocking.

Or is it?

Like Big Brother cookies tracking your every move on the internet, we can learn from our history.

Enter the ghost of hotel rooms past.

Al Gore should have learned from his predecessors not to do sneaky sh*t in places you have to pay to sleep in.

-Marion Barry

In 1990, the former Mayor of D.C. got arrested caught up for doing crack in a hotel room with his then girlfriend coke whore Hazel “Rasheeda” Moore.

Step 1: Never trust a heifer who has a respectable 1st name, but chooses to go by a less attractive hoodrat pseudonym.

Step 2: From what The Wire told us, D.C. was hell f*cked all-the-way up. Damn. Did Barry have to go down like that, though?

Damage? A 6-month prison stint in October, ’91. And then reelected as mayor in ’95. And the butt (crack) of many jokes for years to come.

- OJ Simpson

Didn’t he assault 2 dudes with a deadly weapon in a hotel room a couple of years back? On tape?

If you don’t remember, click here

Damage? 15 years. That [insert 5-letter adjective here] is definitely 62 years old.

-Eliot Spitzer

The former Governor of New York was a staunch advocate of cleaning up the city’s tax free income hookers. All except for those provided by the Emperor’s Club VIP. First known as only “Kristen”, Ashley Dupre would become the whore Spitz would run away with– to the Mayflower Hotel in Washington.

The same hotel that showed up in the affidavit– they’d wire tapped the phone conversation between himself and the brothel, where he specifically requested Dupre.

Eliot would trick $80,000 of the broke city’s money on this floozy.

Damage? He had to give up his role of Governor to this guy

and gets a new CNN show in the fall.

- Lawrence Taylor

In perhaps the most recent hotel room no-no, Hall of Famer/Ex-Giant Lawrence Taylor, or LT. Dude got caught up in May. At a Holiday Inn. With a 16-year-old girl.

a-la

More on this hairy ass situation here.

Damage? Charged with:

3rd degree statutory rape– Sex with someone under 17, while being waaaay over 21.

3rd degree patronization– A fancy way of saying he paid for an underage hooker.

Taylor has been indicted & faces up to 5 years in the slammer and becoming the newest member of the sex offender registry if convicted.

I recommend Gore & friends take this song off of their “Going Out Mix” immediately.

Al can learn a lot from these cats, and he might still be able to scrape by the law, depending on what’s found.

I’m not jumping to any conclusions though. In his defense, she was a massage therapist.

Love,

*Ms. Officer