Old Ass Nevada Gov. Sexing Up Playboy Bunny?

Booooooy these stories just get better and better.

Enter Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons (r.)

As ignorant as he looks, he was accused by this chick,

Chrissy Mazzeo ( a former Playboy model) is accusing Gov. Gibbons of sexual assault. 

Yes.

This guy. 

We are supposed to belive the backlog for this story:

After heavily drinking in Las Vegas, dude hemmed Mazzeo up in a parking lot, where he began to glide his Gold-Bond medicated hands all over her body while salivating on himself.  She didn’t press charges immediately after it (allegedly) happened in 2006, but on February 5th of this year. On that day, Mazzeo’s lawyer, Bob Kossack 4 hours  acosted  lured him in with promises of Smarties, Olde English and prostitues deposed Jim.

Now this is not to say that a man his age cannot sexually assault, harass, probe, make want to vomit anyone.

It’s to say that his alibi for such a crime is not only preposterous, ridiuclous, and shameful;

It’s downright funny.

Bob was able to yank “that he hasn’t been sexually intimate with any woman since 1995.”

Gibbons also proclaims that he “is living proof that he’s a scumbag you can survive without sex for that long”

Let’s back up just a second here.

He hasn’t been sexual with any woman SINCE the California Love came out?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWOsbGP5Ox4

Well, let’s explore the options of what/who he could’ve had sex with in that time (and possibly for a lot less than this lawsuit is going to cost him):

1.

An Apple Pie

2.

Only the thousands of hookers crawling up & down the Las Vegas strip. I’m sure they invented sex out there from what I hear.

3.

Cocaine. Who doesn’t like to fornicate with or on drug powder?

 4.

Former New Jersey Governor, Jim McGreevey.

It’s most likely a lie that he’s been a re-virgin for the last decade & a half, as he has “a travelling companion” named Kathy Karrasch.

Not to say that this Chrissy person is not to blame in all this.  Why wait 4 years to sue someone on a claim that they felt you up in a parking lot on a hazy, drunken night? If you need the money, you need the money, right?

This has janky written all over it.

Love,

*Ms. Officer