Monthly Archives: January 2010
Urban Outfitters Sells “Obama Black” Shirt. WTF.
Thanks to my soror Candace Amos (LDVFashionFix.com), this heiness ad has been brought to my attention. And I can’t type nearly fast enough to start skewering it & whoever put this up.
Urban Outfitters, a bohemian weirdo’s paradise thought it was a good idea to post a product description with the color description “Obama Black”.
Does he look like a color description of a cheap, poorly bleded t-shirt hung on the body of a half dead human being stoned out of their minds??
They think they’re slick. Obama is clearly light skinned, making this guy
….so they figure “if President Obama’s complexion is a diluted dark skin, then this drabby gray was a diluted Black.” Nice.
Too bad other folks have beaten them to the punch of so many flattering ways to honor our 44th President of the United States & 1st African Amercian President ever:
Either wipe your ass with him,
Or have him up your ass!
And what better racial unifier to commemorate this historical moment than with perpetuating a stereotype??
Blacks & Chicken!! Of Course!! I think I discussed this earlier:
http://msofficer.com/2010/01/11/kfc-ad-racist/
How much disrespect is this President going to endure??
No one would’ve dared do this kind of sh*t while Bush was in power.
While Clinton was in power.
While Boo Boo the Fool Bush was in power.
While Reagan was in power.
While Carter was in power.
Shall I keep going?
Why is it ok now?
Let’s keep all the ignorance in 2009 & before. It’s still time, tis the last day of January tomorrow.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Yikes
Well, this is a hot mess.
NFL player this guy:
Eric Green is accused of sodomizing a transgender organism, Angelina Mavilia.
Wow.
Only one sentence in and I’ve come up with a myriad of questions.
The claim wasn’t just of regular sodomy, but of “forcable sodomy”. But…isn’t sodomy forced to begin with, thus making it sodomy?
Anywho, the pair met in Arizona last year while Green was still playing for the Cardinals. It’s also his hometown where he still resides. Unclear if this person was going by Angelina or Angelo at this point, they claim that while they went back to Eric’s condo, he was overly aggressive & threatening. To ensure Angelo lina it wouldn’t tell, Eric was said to have constructed this very simple sentence: “You better not tell”.
For that incident Mr. Miss. Ambiguous Mavilia is suing Green for $10 million. Eric’s camp has yet to issue a statement, making him seem…guilty.
That certainly is a pickle
to be in.
If it is true, then the situation (still weird) is unquestionably wrong, regardless of this man’s sexual orientation.
But I see another issue at play here.
Is Eric Green Light Skinned,
or Dark Skinned
cuz I can’t tell.
Maybe it’s just the flash.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Hot Potato with Nancy Pelosi
Tonight, President Obama gave his State of The Union Address.
You thought it was about the economic state of this nation, or health care or education or security or stimuli.
But it wasn’t.
It was all about Nancy Pelosi.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jp26YZvK1f0
This woman cannot stay in her seat. Never mind it’s glaringly obvious she has a crush on President Obama, by the way she reckless eyeballs him but must she leap out of her chair every time he completes a sentence? She is clearly not aware that her bountiful standing ovations are the barometer by which the rest of congress will get up & clap.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tliNxzan8vs
As the evening progressed it became clear that Joe Biden was not happy with the impromptu workout.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhZ2fYQj6IM
And even though the night was lively with a bipartisan workout, not all were captivated by Pelosi’s dance. For specificity, check the video @ 2:12:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgUainqH8hE&feature=related
Was the resounding applause & the fact that the President was addressing the U.S. in the State Of The Union Address not enough to keep Harry Reid awake??
Perhaps he would’ve been better with one of these:
http://www.youtube.com/user/PoliticsCentralX#p/u/5/h0LgHV3NxVU
Overall, I think President Obama gave a good speech. He always knows excatly what to say and how to say it to pump feelings of hope and action into people. Perhaps if I were not so distracted, I’d be able to provide a better assessment.
The rest of the State of The Union address can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/PoliticsCentralX#p/u/4/7h9lmo_kNNU
She’s watching.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Gary Coleman and Domestic Violence in the Same Sentence
Well, this is weird.
In yet another set of words uncomfortably strung together in a sentence, Gary Coleman was arrested today in Utah. For…you guessed it, hitting someone. He was taken in at 1:28 this afternoon, and the details still remain hazy. The victim still has yet to be identified.
Perhaps this isn’t as weird as I origionally thought. Gary Coleman is no stranger to oddities.
I mean,
This awkward marriage to a then 21-year-old Shannon Price from somewhere in the middle of the country where cousin marrying has never been frowned upon. And then saying he was a virgin at age 63
Then there was this episode where he like, had his mouth & arms doused in crack & signed stuff like manties & Gamecubes for money…or two loosies and a monkey
The time he was surrounded by Mark Messier and a bunch of used jock straps. And Mark Messier’s ballsack was hanging out underneath
or the time he was on Divorce Court with Paul Bunyan
or Gary Coleman actually aging.
By the way– His wife Shannon was arrested in 2008 for domestic violence.
More info to come as the story develops.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Sexual Abuse Weekend
Seems like thats the theme this weekend.
As I perused the bar w/ some of my favorite friends last night, I got slapped on the ass (hard), my side danced on while I was talking , hugged, then groped again from behind, all unsolicited & unwanted from another girl at the bar who looked about the age Pee Wee Herman likes ‘em.
Andy Dick was in keeping with this, the comedian was arrested in West Virginia early this morning.
The charge? 2 felony counts of sexual abuse in the 1st degree. He’s being held on $60,000 bail and the club where he prerformed last night, The Funny Bone, (no pun intended) will post his bail.
I do actually think he’s funny. I couldn’t help but always feel like there was something off about this one. I also always thought he was trying a little too hard to fight his urge for liking men.
Gaydar was right: According to the criminal complaint, Dick was talking to this dude when all of a sudden he
Fat People Rupture Ceiling
I actually want a running list from you guys of all the tacky jokes that could come from this because it’s too good to be true.
Pan across the globe to Sweden. As a herd a group of people filed in for their Weight Watchers class,
the floor collapsed.
One of the very group members said it sounded like an earthquake & everything flew up into the air. I imagine the effect was kind of like this:
But that’s not all.
As if that weren’t enough, a couple of days later subsequent cracks in the walls gave way to the stench of sewage. The meetings now need to be moved to another location.
Hopefully they’ll wise up & use the ground floor.
Don’t believe me?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34881925/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/
Please begin your lists below.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
2010 Golden Globe Award Winners
…And the (complete listing of the) winners are…
MOVIES:
Best Motion Picture – Drama
•WINNER: Avatar
Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
•WINNER: The Hangover– YES!!!
Best Performance by an actor in a Motion Picture – Drama
•WINNER: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Best Performance by an Actress
in a Motion Picture – Drama
•WINNER: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
• WINNER: Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia
Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
•WINNER: Robert Downey Jr, Sherlock Holmes
Best Director – Motion Picture
•WINNER: James Cameron, Avatar (As if there were any doubt here)
Best Screenplay – Motion Picture
• WINNER: Up in the Air
Best Animated Film
• WINNER: Up
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
• WINNER: Mo’Nique, Precious
Yeaaaa! Check out her acceptance speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPBSNXMhEWA&feature=related
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
• WINNER: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Best Foreign Language Film
• WINNER: The White Ribbon (Germany)
Best Original Score – Motion Picture
• WINNER: Up
Best Original Song – Motion Picture
• WINNER: “The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” — Crazy Heart
TV:
Best Television Series – Drama
• WINNER: Mad Men
Handsome as he is…
Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy
•WINNER: Glee
Call me what you want, I just don’t see the big deal with Glee. I tried to watch a couple episodes & it sucked. It wasn’t funny & the way this Lea Michelle person looks really bothers me.
How Oh How could this
Lose out to this??
Maybe I have to be one of those weird artsy-fartsy kids to like it.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama
• WINNER: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama
• WINNER: Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
• WINNER: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy
• WINNER: Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
• WINNER: Grey Gardens
Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
• WINNER: Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Anybody who’s last name is bacon…is alright with me.
Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
• WINNER: Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
• WINNER: John Lithgow, Dexter
Waiiiiiit a minute, Wait a minute. Now even though I’ve never seen Dexter, I am not here to contest the fact that it is a good show. It looks good.
Nonetheless, you can’t go anywhere without hearing just how good John Lithgow was in the series, that it almost makes you forget about why we know him so well in the 1st place:
BUT
Are you f*cking kidding me?? Jermey Piven does such a good job of playing Ari Gold, I’d almost be disappointed if I met him & he didn’t behave like that in real life.
Good Lord knows I love some JP. Gotta stick up for him & 
Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television
• WINNER: Chloë Sevigny, Big Love
That’s the complete list folks.
Again, Go Mo’Nique! Add her to the list!
I forgive you for Phat Girlz.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Roid Rage
You didn’t think I was gonna let this one slip into obscurity, did you?
I can’t begin to describe how disappointing this is to me. As a sports fan, I can’t be bothered with the constant stream of junkies who pretend to be professional athletes. Like it or not, they chose to play a sport that propels them into the national spotlight & consequently, your living room, where your kids will watch his (or her) every move and aspire to be just like them one day.
Then comes the realization that their favorite (insert sport here) player is really strung out on performance enhancing drugs, and it really wasn’t their sheer talent hard at work, but the juice.
Mark McGwire becomes yet another statistic. Earlier this week he sat weeping in front of a host of his peers & superiors admitting to the steroid use that led to him breaking a tiny little home run record back in 1998.
His years of taking roids were just about half of those he spent as a player in the MLB. He started in 1989 & stopped in 1990. From ’93-’99 he kept his muscles juiced, well into the period he competed with Sammy Sosa for Roger Maris’ single-season home run record– hitting 70, breaking a record held tightly since 1961.
In 2010, 12 years “far away” into the future, things have gotten a little weirder. Sammy Sosa’s no longer in Mark’s back pocket, but guest-starring in reruns of “Casper” on FX.
All the endorsements and fanfare have tuckered out, and many others since have been BBQ’ed for their participation in usage, ( Darryl Strawberry, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds, Darryl Strawberry again, Alex Rodriguez) Mark thought it was safe to peek out and admit that his whole image since “the last good year of Hip Hop” was a hoax.
So he admitted on Monday to being on & off “the stuff” for 10 years. What does he get?
A slap on the hands & a wag of the finger?
Excommunicated from the MLB for at least a year?
A date with K-Ci Fantasia Barrino?
No!
None of the above punishments were as suitable as….
The Commish Bud Selig still letting Mark be the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals come February, 2011.
Can we just save the grunt work and automatically assume that the home run class of 2011 & beyond for The Cards will all be
But it’s not all good.
This motherf*cka aged badly, didn’t he?
Good grief.
Doesn’t he have reason to?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Dr. Martin Luther King Day 2010
We celebrate and continue to strive towards the ideals of racial harmony, equality & justice for all. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s actual birthday is today, falling exactly 5 days before the 1 year anniversary of President Obama’s inauguration.
Many milestones have been accomplished, so many barriers broken, much of which Dr. King would been more than proud of to see– knowing that all of his valiant efforts did not go in vain.
There is still work to be done.
On what would have been Dr. King’s 81st birthday,
I still have to go upside someone’s ass.
It seems like the good folks in the Denver Public School system thought it would be a good idea to offer up a menu of Southern fried chicken, collard greens, biscuits, sweet potatoes, peach crisp & a milk selection for their special “MLK Day Menu”.
Are they f*ckin insane??
I just f*ckin finished writing about this not even a week ago.
Personally, I hardly think milk should be the beverage of choice in this situation without a stomach of steel.
Though a delectable meal I’m sure folks from all races enjoy:
It’s unquestionably wrong to offer up Southern Fried Chicken & Greens to the children of the Denver Public School system in their quest to “honor the Black man who brought everyone together”.The last thing we need to do is to shovel the stereotypes that led to this ridiculous idea down the gullets of people not old enough to watch tv without parental controls.
Just as quickly (although still not quickly enough, as the menu was released, it was pulled back. The DPS issued a statement about it on Tuesday night. Spokesman Michael Vaughn said of the dumbass idea it was:
“highly insensitive in light of certain hurtful cultural stereotypes still harbored in parts of our society. Including here.”
“Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. is one of the greatest leaders and civil rights heroes in our country’s history,” Vaughn said. “We are working with all of our schools to ensure that our students appreciate the enduring legacy of Dr. King’s work and life and the extraordinary importance of his message in our community today.”
So we can deduce two things from this:
Intent: Good– In an (extremely poorly thought out) attempt to honor a piece of history.
Execution: Miserable– They tried to do so with a “Southern Fried” piece of dead bird.
In plain language,
You can’t honor this:
With this:
Ever.
Just to be sure, let’s ask our racial unifier, a man who was able to unite people of all colors & creeds in the 2000′s with 3 ingredients: his wit, a microphone, & a camera:
Can we please do better to honor this legend’s memory? Please??
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Close Call
As the governor continues to slide down the slippery slope of…being the New York State governor– club appearances, odd deficit balancing, low approval ratings (up to 40% in Dec. after hitting 30% in Oct. ) & constant badgering on Saturday Night Live, yet another reason has surfaced that’s giving the people of New York a reason to question Paterson.
If the average person heard about it.
I’m pretty sure the Gov is wiping his brow that the focus is alluding him this go- round. Sadly, it’s only because most of the attention is on the horrifying earthquake in Haiti.
His 15 year old son Alex was caught by police and arrested on Tuesday w/ stolen credit cards. Probably engaged in a game of Cee-Lo, although they called it “playing dice” out on the Upper West Side.
Was this Gossip Girl Upper West Side?
Or “So far up we don’t ever want to consider this Upper West Side, ever”?
Like a good pops, the Gov came out swinging for his son. Paterson said the supposed credit card was actually a debit card, that was never used.
IT’S JUST BECAUSE HE HADN’T YET
Then David magically reversed the whole arrest, stating that the police only stopped Alex instead of arresting him.
Wtf does this ***** live here??
I mean, if your gonna run with it, you gotta keep the baton in your hand, right? The David said his son was not playing dice for money uptown, but was just down by his school. Right.
I mean, whatever the case may be, I just wish/hope David Paterson can get this city out of a deficit & raise his approval rating. This isn’t cool. I want to root for him. I really do.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Relief for Haiti
So much to write about, but 1st thing’s 1st. A beyond devastating earthquake in Haiti yesterday shook Port-Au-Prince & was rated at a 7.0. Lasting 10-15 SECONDS & The cause of 32 aftershocks– all big enough to be earthquakes in themselves, the isle is hardly what it used to be.
Some quick facts:
- Haiti is the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere. Let me put that in perspective for you: That means Haiti is the poorest nation on this side of the earth. It is barely a 4 hr. trip from the U.S.
- About 50% of the population is under 21
- About 3 million people (1/3 of the country’s population) directly affected by earthquake
-President Obama addressed the nation today at about 10AM about the eartquake
- Despite rumors, Haiti’s president, Rene Preval is alive although his palace is destroyed.
There is so much to be said about this horrific ordeal. But the truth is– no one was paying Haiti any mind before Wyclef or before yesterday. I also don’t understand how Hispaniola, (a word to describe the land in which Haiti and the Dominican Republic share) hasn’t been called such since it was a European colony. The word somehow become acceptable for use again after 1841.
I am from Flatbush, Brooklyn & my closest friends are from the country. Flatbush is also a heavily populated Haitian neighborhood. In fact, of all the Caribbean countries, you get made fun of the most for being Haitian. Now I too am guilty of teasing my friends, (always just in jest) about it. But there are so many more who have used the terms maliciously. Perhaps the acceptance of the deliberately disrespectful treatment allowed this?:
Sickeningly, Disgustingly, Shamefully, Grossly, Repulsively enough, some wasted no time, especially as the disaster was only 1 day old:
Exhibit 1: Dispicable, deplorable Pat Robertson:
& Who the hell is that Black chick beside him agreeing??? Did she not see this as an opportune time to tell his ass off & put him in his place for spewing such ignorance????
Exhibit #2: This almost comes as no surprise, sadly enough. You almost come to expect torrid things to come racing out of this fat pig this maggot infested vomit brained Rush Limbaugh’s mouth. It’s almost as if he revels in these types of situations:
I can’t understand how people think this moldy toilet seat that speaks actually has something to enrich anyone who listens to him. As a matter of fact, what does it say about those who actively listen to it??
There’s nothing else to say, because (as usual) Keith Olbermann sums it up best:
How you can help:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/01/13/haiti.earthquake.how.to.help/index.html
I’m glad to see people uniting on this.
There isn’t a choice.
My thoughts & prayers are with you.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
KFC Ad Racist?
You decide.
I think this is funny as hell, actually:
This thing has been the buzz of the internet just before the holiday season & I finally got a chance to sit down and watch it.
What I see is an akward ass white dude miserable in the middle of a bunch of Black folk who are not dressed like him. He thinks they don’t share the same enthusiasm for the team because no one else is wearing the same team jersey as he is. Everyone knows how, can, & is dancing to Calypso music. He’s from Austrailia, they’re from the Caribbean. What’s a person to do? How does a lone white man in the throws of trouble break down a language barrier even though they all still speak English pacify a bunch of negroes?
With KFC Chicken! Of course!
Why didn’t any one think of this sooner?
The colonel’s 11 herbs & spices, enough to make any man forget they are suppressing racial tensions rather than truly calming the atmosphere and encouraging harmony.
…In the colonel’s defense, I heard once upon a time the “C” no longer stood for chicken.
What do you think?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Derek Jeter’s Getting Married??
Yep, that’s what I heard.
Quagmire The Yankee Shortstop Derek Jeter, one of the world’s most eligible, pawed after, fawned over, stalked, loved, and ambiguously raced bachelors is taking his c*ck off the market.
Who’s the thief you ask?
That’d be Minka Kelly, that actress from Friday Night Lights & the daughter of Aerosmith guitarist Rick Gufay.
Jeter shot down rumors that he & Kelly were engaged as a guest on Letterman last November, perhaps he wanted to slang it once more before he settled down?
Not so fast ladies. Before you battleaxes get your thongs permanently lodged in your asses, know that the validity of this report is still being refuted. After noticing that Jeter’s name was penciled in to be married at the Oheka Castle in Huntington, Long Island, a reporter for the New York Post queried the manager of the estate & he denied that it was Derek Jeter.
English Translation: Derek Jeter might not be getting married after all.
or he might.
Personally I find
muuuuuuuch hotter. His Dominicanness also ups the ante. Mmmm speak Spanish to me.
Whoa. I digress.
Anywho, the date for “Jeter” is set for November 5th, 2010.
One more for ol’ times sake, eh?
We’ll see.
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Assed out in NYC
Imagine going around this
In this:
It’s happening today.
The only thing I can think of is why?
This will be the ninth annual time this is happening, this year is the first I’m ever hearing of it– which could mean one of two things:
1. It’s extraordinarily stupid, therefore alright that I’ve never heard of it before
2. I try my best not to associate with weirdos who might do this.
It is the 2010 No Pants Subway Ride, where participants from the performance troupe “Improv Everywhere” will ride around the city for 2 hours this afternoon without anything on their asses protecting them from the slime of the train. Without laughing.
The last time I checked the weather is just about 20 degrees in the city. I mean, it’s an adventure enough to grasp a pole in the subway, let alone slide your ass from side to side on a seat on a Sunday afternoon. We all know what can be found riding the train…
Talk about risky.
Thought you might like to know just in case you too were in the belly of the city.
Love,
Ms. Officer
Harry Reid Is Glad Barack Is Light Skinned
Jan 9
Posted by MsOfficer
These events always seem to run together. Now the last 4 posts have become a family.
This guy, the one who looks like a piece of Origami, is Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev). For some reason, once upon a time in a past conversation he thought it was a good idea to make an ignorant comment about our now POTUS, Barack Obama when he was still in the running for the job. Reid probably thought it would never see the light of day.
Senator Reid was evidently haunted like the ghost of Christmas past, which, amazingly he resembles. Someone finally let loose on his words from a past private conversation and Reid was pushed into making a public apology just a couple of hours ago. The comments, via CNN.com:
1. Harry Reid basically said if Barack was a darkie named Mobutu, he wouldn’t stand a chance at winning the Presidency.
2. Reid also admitted that he thinks light skinned folks are less menacing.
3. He said “Negro dialect”.
4. Unless he wanted to have one? Is there somewhere I can go to by this “Negro dialect”? Pick it up perhaps? Barter it for something else?
“Excuse me, can I trade you that ignorance for this Negro dialect please? I can’t seem to get some one to take it off my hands. Thanks.”
Have we slipped the f*ck back into 1930 & I was not notified?
Finally, it was uttered by a former peer of Barack Obama, what I’d feared would be publicly said about him for so long:
Perhaps America would be more comfortable with “less threatening” and “more stereotypical” images of African-Americans?
Because nothing is scarier than an educated Black Man.
Has the word Negro regained a certain “ok to use recklessly because Black people aren’t going to react at all” factor that I completely missed?
This comment was unearthed by authors Mark Halperin and John Heilmann in their book “Game Change” that’s going to be released next Tuesday. It’s one way to stir up a hell of a buzz for a book release.
For what it’s worth, Harry called President Obama today & apologized for the comment. Here’s what the definition of classy had to say regarding the incident:
Reid also was sorry for ” the fact ya’ll found out about this sh*t in th first place, all the rest’a you nigs that got bent outta shape over it, & I woulda gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those pesky journalists. offending any and all Americans, especially African Americans for my improper comments.”
At least we’ve found the culprit behind the 2010 Census Negro Uproar.
Why not?
….But I you are aware that “Negro” is just one step away from “Ni**er”, right?
Love,
*Ms. Officer
Runteldat:
Posted in News You Can Use, Shiftee, WTF, Yikes
1 Comment
Tags: 2010 Census Includes The Word Negro, Camron wears pink, Chris Rock He Speaks So Well, Dipset, Harry Reid Apologizes to Barack Obama, Harry Reid D-Nevada, Hes So Well Spoken, ignorance, John Heilmann Game Change Book, Mark Halperin, President Barack Obama, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid Makes "Negro" & "Light Skinned" Comment About Barack Obama