14 + a Granny Technically Makes 93

As if I haven’t already written about this more than any other topic on this entire website, more Tiger Woods drama ensues:

-This week we  learned that Elin is not having it anymore, so she decided she was packin’ up, taking the kids & going to Sweden for a Tiger-less holiday.

I even was told that she was going to leave sooner, but she had to wait for one of her children to recover from the flu.

I woulda wrapped that sucker in some plastic & left.

-Oh yeah, did I mention that she’s divorcing him & going after half of his $1 Billion fortune?

(That is, $500 million to you idiots).

-Mistress #1, Rachel Uchitel not only flew down to Florida to be w/ Woods, but reportedly brokered anywhere from $1-$3 Million to not release all the other kinky sh*t & naked pictures next to questionable things & people she has of Tiger any more information.

-The Tiger Tally is up to 14 women who’ve come forward so far.

-Tiger’s binging on cereal, cartoons, & put put golf to pass the time.  Apparently he’s turned into a 6 year old schoolgirl.

But of course that is not all.  Apparently The Crypt Keeper a cougar by the name of Theresa Rogers said she was the one who “taught Tiger everything he knows”

She’s 48.

He’s 33.

And who knows when these two started romping around?

Aaaaand Yes, I am aware of the fact that this post comes directly after my lusting after a man over 20 years my senior, there is one important difference here:

John Stamos is hot.

I mean, at least if your gonna go old, do it in style.

A bonus “Everyone looks the Same to Me” for you.

I mean, ew. What is that? & Who gave it that baby to touch?

However, all of the women seem to agree on one aspect (I wonder if he also paid them for):

They all say Tiger is good in bed.

Growl.

Love,

*Ms. Officer